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    At times (such as the time of writing) I just feel like my life is in the toilet.

    My parents got divorced 6 years ago, which involved me actually taking my parents to court and the whole thing still depresses me as it involved an attempted suicide/cry for help by one of my parents, and I'm pretty damn sure parent is either scamming painkillers from his doctor, is addicted to them, or both.

    I had an excellent 9 months at University, got pretty good marks and made lots of friends, but I failed in the women department. I fell for a girl completely and we have a very honest relationship where she openly stated that she'd messed up from her ex cheating on her and that as I'd pander to her (or have no backbone) she'd take me for granted and abuse me. I'm still nuts about her and despite my rejection 10 weeks ago the feeling hasn't faded, probably because I still MSN with her daily.

    Quite a few of my dear friends seem thoroughly disinterested in me now - I go over a week without speaking to them unless I initiate conversation, and considering how we used to spend hours together every day it just depresses me. I think at least one of my friends may be embittered that the rest of us went to campus Unis and had the whole social thing whilst he just went local and missed out on that.

    I dunno, I can deal with my family situation. It sucks but I can deal with it. I have these episodes one or two times a week where my life just feels like it's in the toilet and it's difficult to fight. I do well at University, I have a well-paid job for the Summer that will cover my rent bills, and I have enough friends to go out with, yet this whole women thing bothers me. Of the three girls I've ever had the courage to speak to, one gave me a maybe and went off with my best mate, one said it'd just be too weird to meet me in person (she was a girl I knew online) and the third said the aforementioned (that she'd take me granted). They all seemed like fobbing offs in their own way, and the latter one in particular hinted that I'm "too nice", which annoys me so much. I can try and be a ******* but it's not my nature, and I don't want to and will not change myself for anyone.

    In these twice-weekly episodes, the few things I find driving me are: my love of films, my love of computer games/Internet and my scriptwriting hobby (which I hope to turn into a career someday).

    I think I'm feeling quite blue about the end of Uni. At Uni you had a guaranteed social lexicon just 2 minutes away, yet at home it's a bus ride/walk to town and even there, the people just aren't as nice or accepting. I just want to get back to University, go to the freshers events and mingle with the fresher girls and hopefully raise my self esteem. Although that's 10 weeks away which sucks a lot.

    Sorry for the rant, but I bloody hate the way I feel and I feel very self-indulgent and selfish for feeling it, but it is all-consuming at times. This girl I fell for was the first girl I can say I was utterly devoted to and considering how she (and even she admitted this) did lead me on for a while, it just knocked me for six as I really really thought I had a shot at happiness with her. She's everything I want in a girl both personally and physically and it's all flushed away. She's with a girl who she complains to me about regularly, yet the next minute says he's a "lovely guy", and it just fuels my anger and frustration even more. I ultimately want her to be happy, and just want her to find a damn stable relationship with someone, even if it's not me, but knowing that I'm being passed over for this, when she constantly says I'm an awesome guy and says that she is in fact attracted to me just leaves me with the biggest set of blue balls on Earth.

    Again sorry for the length and cheers for reading if you did
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    Hey
    I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way, and I really do hope things get better for you.
    I can understand how hard it muxt be for you, as my life is not amazing either. But you know things always get better in life they really do.
    Maybe try speaking to some of your friends if you havent already and do the same with your girlfried -tell them how you feel about the situation you have been put in.
    Im sorry but I really dont know what to say.....You say your at uni...maybe make an appointment to see a counsellor at your uni...they are really good for just listining to what you have to say and give you suggestions, and by the looks of things, you could really do with someone to talk to about how you are feeling at the moment.
    I hope that helps?
    If you wanna talk furthrt then PM me
    Take care and I hope things work out soon.
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    I think you really need to find something you care about (asides this girl!). Find a hobby, a job, soemthing like that. If you really like scriptwriting, send some of your stuff off to TV producers or Film producers, whatever you write, and see what they have to say about it. Get active and get involved. Ask them to spare 5 mins for a phone call or write them a leter to see how they got into their profession, what the best ways are to go about it, who the people to talk to are. And dont give up until you've found yourself some direction.

    Or, take up a sport and get your competetive side flowing! Its a great way to meet people too, go for drinks after your games or practices. I get the feeling this wont be for you ( no offence ) but its great to try something new, you never know who you'll meet along the way.

    Everyone always has downtime over the summer holidays from uni in my experience. You've gone away from home, done so much, met so many new people and had some great times and you come back to your little town or whatever, to all your friends who have all done the same too. theyve all gone in different directions and become different people. I know i feel like a whole new person even after just one year. Its not expected that you'll get on as well with them as you did before. You've all changed. To get on with them, you kinda have to revert back to what you were like before uni... and i know i for one arent really willing to do that! I've met people at uni who i know will be life friends, and i come back to the "friends" i had here and think... why was i friends with you? You've no time for me, so why should i make time for you? Dont let that get you down. get a job over summer, get some money under your belt and get back to uni asap to the people who DO give a **** about you.

    the woman thing... you dont NEED a girlfriend. Noone NEEDS anything. It would just be nice to have, thats all. Getting out there , meeting more people, you'll find someone who likes you for you and doesnt admit they'll piss you about or not have the guts to meet you. |It takes time, and yeah its crap whilst you're waiting but life's a waiting game after all. We've nothing to do but wait for death, right? (i dont mean to sound morbid there but its true, isnt it?) So just find the things that make you happy in the interim so you can look back in 80 years time and think... I had a bloody great time there, i didnt drag my feet and feel crap that i didnt have everything i wanted. I made the most and i dont regret a second of it.

    get involved.
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    My brother seems down because he's done a year at uni, had a great time and has come back home with friends who are not really what you can consider friends, no job/money and no social engagement- of course it's better when he gets back to uni, but those days are a way off yet and it's all about getting on with it- I've been off a YEAR, one year, because of health problems and you don't see me moaning.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My brother seems down because he's done a year at uni, had a great time and has come back home with friends who are not really what you can consider friends, no job/money and no social engagement- of course it's better when he gets back to uni, but those days are a way off yet and it's all about getting on with it- I've been off a YEAR, one year, because of health problems and you don't see me moaning.
    Oh please.
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    I think its the common case that people lose the closeness with their original friends while they are at uni, that has been the case for me as well. After being away for 9 months I guess we can't expect to have the same level of closeness, im also looking forward to going back to uni.

    You're really lucky that you have the job. Hopefully when you're at work you can focus on the job and forget about other things for a while?

    Hey I can sympathise about the girl with you totally. You've gone right into the 'friend zone'. She views you as a guy who is there for her to talk about her relationships to. In my experience, its very hard once you've slipped into the zone to come out and reinstate yourself as a potentil bf. I think you should try and move on from her. Look forward to meeting new girls in fresher's week, and go in with a new approach; don't aim to please them in every way, make them do some chasing. In the mean time start working out or something!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    At times (such as the time of writing) I just feel like my life is in the toilet.

    My parents got divorced 6 years ago, which involved me actually taking my parents to court and the whole thing still depresses me as it involved an attempted suicide/cry for help by one of my parents, and I'm pretty damn sure parent is either scamming painkillers from his doctor, is addicted to them, or both.

    I had an excellent 9 months at University, got pretty good marks and made lots of friends, but I failed in the women department. I fell for a girl completely and we have a very honest relationship where she openly stated that she'd messed up from her ex cheating on her and that as I'd pander to her (or have no backbone) she'd take me for granted and abuse me. I'm still nuts about her and despite my rejection 10 weeks ago the feeling hasn't faded, probably because I still MSN with her daily.

    Quite a few of my dear friends seem thoroughly disinterested in me now - I go over a week without speaking to them unless I initiate conversation, and considering how we used to spend hours together every day it just depresses me. I think at least one of my friends may be embittered that the rest of us went to campus Unis and had the whole social thing whilst he just went local and missed out on that.

    I dunno, I can deal with my family situation. It sucks but I can deal with it. I have these episodes one or two times a week where my life just feels like it's in the toilet and it's difficult to fight. I do well at University, I have a well-paid job for the Summer that will cover my rent bills, and I have enough friends to go out with, yet this whole women thing bothers me. Of the three girls I've ever had the courage to speak to, one gave me a maybe and went off with my best mate, one said it'd just be too weird to meet me in person (she was a girl I knew online) and the third said the aforementioned (that she'd take me granted). They all seemed like fobbing offs in their own way, and the latter one in particular hinted that I'm "too nice", which annoys me so much. I can try and be a ******* but it's not my nature, and I don't want to and will not change myself for anyone.

    In these twice-weekly episodes, the few things I find driving me are: my love of films, my love of computer games/Internet and my scriptwriting hobby (which I hope to turn into a career someday).

    I think I'm feeling quite blue about the end of Uni. At Uni you had a guaranteed social lexicon just 2 minutes away, yet at home it's a bus ride/walk to town and even there, the people just aren't as nice or accepting. I just want to get back to University, go to the freshers events and mingle with the fresher girls and hopefully raise my self esteem. Although that's 10 weeks away which sucks a lot.

    Sorry for the rant, but I bloody hate the way I feel and I feel very self-indulgent and selfish for feeling it, but it is all-consuming at times. This girl I fell for was the first girl I can say I was utterly devoted to and considering how she (and even she admitted this) did lead me on for a while, it just knocked me for six as I really really thought I had a shot at happiness with her. She's everything I want in a girl both personally and physically and it's all flushed away. She's with a girl who she complains to me about regularly, yet the next minute says he's a "lovely guy", and it just fuels my anger and frustration even more. I ultimately want her to be happy, and just want her to find a damn stable relationship with someone, even if it's not me, but knowing that I'm being passed over for this, when she constantly says I'm an awesome guy and says that she is in fact attracted to me just leaves me with the biggest set of blue balls on Earth.

    Again sorry for the length and cheers for reading if you did
    surely if the pair of you talk things through , you'll get through this alright!.
    • #1
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    #1

    Right, I had a good think about myself I do kinda feel better about this now. I do tend to have big mood swings at the moment for some reason - one minute I feel fine, then one wayward thought enters my head and turns my entire emotional tide into feeling like crap.

    I definitely have some stuff I need to get in order, but I saw my old mates today and we had a BBQ, I didn't pander to the girl I'm trying to get over, stuff like that.

    My family situation is screwed but you can't pick your family and it's not like my dad's a bad guy, I just worry about him sometimes.

    And I did some working out today, which obviously releases endorphines and makes you feel a bit better about yourself. Quite looking forward to fresher's week and hopefully I can learn from my previous rejection.

    So cheers for the responses but if anyone else reads this, please feel free to chime in, as like I said, my tide seems to change far too much these days. Depression runs in my family unfortunately, so I really hope these constant anxiety attacks aren't an omen for something worse.
 
 
 
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