Girlfriend cheated on me, should i leave her?

Hey everyone,

Just woundering if anyone can offer any helpful advice.

Basically this last week, my gf went on a girly holiday with her friends to Newquay. Last night over the phone she told me that on Wednesday night when she was drunk she ended up kissing this other guy. She became very upset whilst telling me and obviously regrets what shes done. I love her to bits but am no longer sure whether i can trust her as i'm naturally quite a paranoid person. We go to seperate uni's relatively far about and i dont want to feel like she is going to cheat on me every night she goes out and has afew drinks.
I dont know what to do. So just woundering what you would do in this situation.
Also to make matters slightly worse i am meant to be going on holiday with her and her family in a weeks time! lol

So what should i do?

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Reply 1

dh00001

if you cant trust her anymore you should probably end it as it will just **** you up forever being paranoid

Reply 2

username47781

If you feel you can no longer trust her then end it.

Reply 3

khil

Give her a chance, I say. She obviously regrets it - if she's so regretful about it, then she won't do it again. Everyone deserves a second chance.

Don't let one incident cloud your judgement of her. You know her best and you know logically speaking whether she's likely to cheat on your again. Eg, is she normally a reliable person? Are you two normally very honest with each other? If yes, to both, then give her a chance, I think. She told you - she was honest enough for that and she obviously values you and the relationship enough to let you know the truth, so you can come to your own decision about this.

Like, if you dump her now, you'd never know whether you've just dumped a girl you love who would never have cheated on you again. If you gave her a chance and she cheats on you, then at least you know for a fact that she's a cheat, as opposed to just assuming that she is. And if she doesn't cheat on you again, then you haven't just given up on something that could have been mended and gone well.

In the end, it's up to you. You're not wrong to dump her, but it's not wrong to keep her either.

Reply 4

Dagowly

probably best time to end it, if you're both going to separate uni's. Long distance relationships are hard to keep working.

Reply 5

cutcopy

End it. Uni relationships just don't last - you should spend your time having fun whilst you're there, and definitely not having to worry about a girl who doesn't live anywhere near you cheating.

Reply 6

username47781

Insincere Dave

End it. Uni relationships just don't last - you should spend your time having fun whilst you're there, and definitely not having to worry about a girl who doesn't live anywhere near you cheating.

Well no, some university relationships do last, however I am not so convinced this one will last.

Reply 7

Henri Lloyd

It was just a kiss mate, and particularly if she feels very sorry it will never happen again. Just tell her that this is her last chance. You're actually in quite a good position. On a holiday, life is just a liitle bit different to be honest, it is a completely different environment. I wouldn't ditch her.

Reply 8

Sparkly-student

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 9

HeadShock

irisng

Give her a chance, I say. She obviously regrets it - if she's so regretful about it, then she won't do it again. Everyone deserves a second chance.

Even Hitler? I would give her another chance, just let her know how much trust she has lost and kudos to her for telling you.

Reply 10

Viridis

She could have kept it quiet but she chose to tell you, i think she's truly sorry for what she did. Give her a chance!

Reply 11

lea164

If you still love her and the other aspects of the relationship are good, then work together to rebuild the trust.

Reply 12

Adhsur

It is really not a very good excuse if she attributes it to the drink. She should have known not to drink so much that she's not in control anymore. Don't expect any promises about what she will do when she next drinks but if you are going to give her another chance, make sure she sincerely stops drinking as much as she does.

Reply 13

UglyDuckling

Why would you end up the relationship when she is being honest?
I cherish honesty very much. I think you should give her a chance. Just let her know how you feel... and request such incident shouldn't be happening again.

The fact that she explained shows that she cared about this relationship. Would you prefer her not to telling you the truth?? Would you rather let the truth to be untold? Think about it.

Reply 14

PatchTheCatch

Despite the fact she is being honest and regrets it etc, there would a simple way to avoid all the conflict. DON'T CHEAT. So I would agree that it's best to end it especially if you're already quite paranoid, you will just end up hassling her checkin her texts all the time etc.
I guess she didn't sleep with someone so it ain't terrible but still drunkenness isn't an excuse for anything.

Reply 15

Consie

is it just me, or if it was a girl posting about a guy cheating, posts would be a lot more hostile? Ditch the bitch.

Reply 16

herbal bug

If she's regretful give her another chance, everyone deserves one.

be wary mind and do somehow prepare for pain just incase it happens again mind.

Reply 17

Consie

there is a chance if she is that regretful she'll become some sort of puritan and never, ever, cheat again.

But at the end of the day, the number one, most basic fundamental rule of a relationship between 2 people is that one shouldnt cheat on the other. Its not really much to ask, is it?

Reply 18

Dionysus

The very fact that she told you means that she regrets it and hasn't done it on any other occasions. There's no reason to end a perfectly good relationship over something like that.