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    Well, I'd first off like to state that I'm not saying my life is ****, I'm so unfortunate. I know people will say think about less advantaged people. Their difference is that they don't usually have a chance to put things right. I on the other hand am ruining it myself.

    Good. Anyway, I'm 21 now, still a virgin: have had boyfriends but haven't done the deed yet. Can't insert anything even tampons that are designed for that purpose. I have no job, I'm not qualified enough even for work experience stupidly enough, no matter how many times I ring round and research things. I have had experience working before, but they want years and years. My friends seem to obtain jobs within days, and I am 100% sure that I do not know another virgin at my age.

    So short of being raped and becoming a prostitute I don't see any other thing to do really. Idiotic but there you go.
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    You will be amazed how many 21 year olds are still virgins, they are out there. What sort of job or work experience you looking for?
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    It sounds like you're getting yourself down about all of these things that you're MEANT to have done by now. Like losing your virginity... no-one is aware of it unless you actually tell them, so stop fretting. It'll happen.

    With the jobs... what ones are you applying for? It may be that you have to work up the ladder before you get to what you want to be doing.

    Just think about all the positive things in your life at the minute, firends, family and the good times.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, I'd first off like to state that I'm not saying my life is ****, I'm so unfortunate. I know people will say think about less advantaged people. Their difference is that they don't usually have a chance to put things right. I on the other hand am ruining it myself.

    Good. Anyway, I'm 21 now, still a virgin: have had boyfriends but haven't done the deed yet. Can't insert anything even tampons that are designed for that purpose. I have no job, I'm not qualified enough even for work experience stupidly enough, no matter how many times I ring round and research things. I have had experience working before, but they want years and years. My friends seem to obtain jobs within days, and I am 100% sure that I do not know another virgin at my age.

    So short of being raped and becoming a prostitute I don't see any other thing to do really. Idiotic but there you go.
    Firstly, to have had sex doesn't rate you higher than non-virgns either socially or in any other way. It sounds as though this is your worry in terms of being a virgin. However, if you genuinely are wanting to have sexual relationship, there's always the option of doing an Access course which will have you in university in less than a year. There's plenty of sex there if you're single (and if you're not).

    And sorry, but to consider rape or prostitution as another way - although I'm absolutely sure you said it in jest - is, well, silly. Rape and prostitution are situations and experiences that have ruined lives before now. Your life is still 'salvageable'. All you need to do is DO SOMETHING.

    Or is this a case of self-sabotage that you can't seem to get out of? In this case, you should consider talking to someone you trust about it; it's an issue that some of us have to work through but it is possible. If you don't have anyone to talk to but feel you need to talk to someone, talk to your doctor and have him/her refer you to a specialist or a counsellor.

    As for getting a job, if you want any job the supermarkets will have you.

    I would seriously consider getting an education or a skill (if you don't already) if you want good jobs in the future.

    I don't know what answer you want really. To be honest, it sounds like you want to be a victim.
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    If you're obviously unqualified for jobs - go get yourself a qualification! A-Levels you need? Go to college? Degree you need? Get a loan and start studying. It's no good saying "I don't have a job because I don't have the right qualifications but I'm just gonna keep ringing up for jobs!" My mum wanted a better job than being a secretary - what did she do? In her 40's, she went and studied! She's now got a few A-Levels, a diploma and she's almost completed an AAT (accounting qualification) and she just started a new job where she is assistant management accountant. What did she do to get a job? She didn't have the right qualifications either. She just went and studied.

    And as for being a virgin - why on earth is being a virgin oh-so-shameful? Oh dear, I've never had sex, save me! I'm a virgin, my sister who's 23 is a virgin, I know tonnes of friends at my age (19) who're virgins or have never had boyfriends - does that make them in any way less adequate? No. Does that mean they're unattractive, undesirable or people you're better off not knowing? No! Seriously, being a virgin is no big deal! And my mum lives by the motto - you won't die without a man, you need to be independent and study hard because you will die if you can't support yourself. Seriously, all the virgins and single people out there are not rotting because they don't have someone.

    If you're despairing so much - do something about it. Can family help financially or just generally? Can you simply get a waitressing job and perhaps save up enough to go to college? Can you self-teach a language, go abroad and find a waitressing job there, come back and claim your language skills and use it on a job? Can you go and do volunteer work just to get the experience? Not work experience - but simple volunteer work. What talents do you have? Can you use them in any way? Modelling, publish a book, sell a painting, do some babysitting and get paid. What kind of qualifications do you already have? Build on that.
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    Maybe making abreak from you parents would be good. Think of somewhere you'd like to go and live, maybe get some bar work or something.
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    I want to pretty much echo what irisng said.

    It is never too late to get qualifications. I'm going to start uni aged 20 (and that's only if I go this year) so not graduate until I'm 23. Then after that I want to try and get myself an IT qualification.

    And I never get the whole 'being a virgin is a problem' thing. I'm 20 and proud to be a virgin (predominantly religious reasons). Actually sexual relationships don't appeal to me.
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    double posted ><
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    (Original post by naivesincerity)
    Maybe making abreak from you parents would be good. Think of somewhere you'd like to go and live, maybe get some bar work or something.
    You mention being a Virgin at 21 it's not a bad thing, In Tunisia you cant legally have sex untill your 20!

    I have said this twice today for every women there is a man and for every man
    you get pooled for a Woman
    If you dont have qualification's go to university if you dont have A Level's to get into university take the life long learning access course at a local college or university they require no formal education to enroll and will have you qualified for University by May next year
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    (Original post by irisng)
    If you're obviously unqualified for jobs - go get yourself a qualification! A-Levels you need? Go to college? Degree you need? Get a loan and start studying. It's no good saying "I don't have a job because I don't have the right qualifications but I'm just gonna keep ringing up for jobs!" My mum wanted a better job than being a secretary - what did she do? In her 40's, she went and studied! She's now got a few A-Levels, a diploma and she's almost completed an AAT (accounting qualification) and she just started a new job where she is assistant management accountant. What did she do to get a job? She didn't have the right qualifications either. She just went and studied.

    And as for being a virgin - why on earth is being a virgin oh-so-shameful? Oh dear, I've never had sex, save me! I'm a virgin, my sister who's 23 is a virgin, I know tonnes of friends at my age (19) who're virgins or have never had boyfriends - does that make them in any way less adequate? No. Does that mean they're unattractive, undesirable or people you're better off not knowing? No! Seriously, being a virgin is no big deal! And my mum lives by the motto - you won't die without a man, you need to be independent and study hard because you will die if you can't support yourself. Seriously, all the virgins and single people out there are not rotting because they don't have someone.

    If you're despairing so much - do something about it. Can family help financially or just generally? Can you simply get a waitressing job and perhaps save up enough to go to college? Can you self-teach a language, go abroad and find a waitressing job there, come back and claim your language skills and use it on a job? Can you go and do volunteer work just to get the experience? Not work experience - but simple volunteer work. What talents do you have? Can you use them in any way? Modelling, publish a book, sell a painting, do some babysitting and get paid. What kind of qualifications do you already have? Build on that.
    be excellent for the (OP) to follow this up good advice!
 
 
 
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