Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

'Best Friend' with benefits or Boyfriend? Advice needed... Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    There's this guy I've been super close with for a couple years almost now, and he's pretty much my best friend, although it's always been a bit flirty, like we've always had what people like to call 'a thing'...

    Anyway, about a year ago we ended up having sex, and it wasn't even awkward afterwards, like it happened and we just got on with life haha having our little 'thing'.

    A few months after that he got with a friend of mine, and they had a pathetic on and off relationship for like a month at the most. We were still best friends at this point.

    Anyway they broke up, and then a few months on we ended up making out or having sex, again and again, and yeah all the time hahah, and If people asked about us we'd say we had a friends with benefits thing going on, but it was obvious to everyone that there had to be something a little more there.
    He kept getting on and off with this girl again, and then after they finally called it off he 'poured his heart out' to me saying how it was obvious we both really liked each other, and how he loved me and wanted to try it properly between us one day and all this other s***. But he was on drugs at the time... But he swore the next day he meant everything he had said, he knew what he was saying at the time and meant every word.

    Anyway so we ended up carrying on as usual for a couple weeks, and then we spoke about things again a couple weeks ago, and he said like it's summer right now and he doesn't want to get into anything too serious but when we both go to college this September things will be different and we can try it then perhaps.

    I don't know what to do, because I do really really like him, he's the one person I trust with everything and I don't know whether to wait around and risk looking desperate or just tell him how i feel and idk, because sometimes when we meet i feel like he's only meeting me for sex, but I just have no clue anymore... because I want to be with him. help! what do I do or say!!!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Sorry it's a long read, I just don't know how to explain it without details
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    The only way you'll be able to determine if he's meeting you for sex is if you stop having sex with him, say you want to do things properly and start a fresh with him taking things as you would a new relationship and see how that goes? If he's willing to go along with it he obviously feels the same and there more than just a sexual and friendship element to your relationship. C x
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Think you should just address the relationship situation in a few weeks time but avoid meeting him regularly just for sex lol i dunno go out, get lunch, do whatever you were doing before and keep sex at an arms length until you're in a relationship in my opinion.

    You sound like you would make a good couple and sex always always always complicates things if it happens before you're official with someone so yeah just chill, enjoy your time with him, see where it goes and in no time it will be the end of August and if you think its right just bring it up and tell him what youre thinking.

    I dunno but from what I've read:
    - you want a relationship with him
    - you actually like him and want to keep him due to the slight apparent jealousy of him being with the other girl for a bit
    - its best to have your relationship with him clear
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Follow the above stop the sex, and see if he will stay say the same.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 10, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What's your favourite Christmas sweets?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.