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    please dont quote

    I was in a relationship with a guy.for about 4 months however I broke up with him because I was having a lot of trust issues and didn't feel I was ready to get serious and also our personalities were the opposite so I didn't thing we would work well in the long term. We decided that we would remain friends because we were quite close before however I think this was the biggest mistake.

    From then on I felt like all he did was manipulate into having sex with him and all the times in between he would act like this love sick puppy who wants me back. And every time I would believe that he genuinely had feelings for me (because he was so loving during the relationship and I broke up with him) and have sex with him then feel used and regret it the next day. I dont doubt that he DOES have feelings for me because I mean even during the period that I was adamant that I would not, he still acted lovingly and caring etc And he even told my sister that he really loved me. And he always says all these really gushy things etc which was one of the reasons I broke up with him because I cannot handle people who are too emotional.

    Again even though I felt like this and was clearly not over him and not able to handle the whole friends with benefits thing and knew he still had feelings for me... I did not want a relationship with him. I made this very clear... since again he is my close friend I told that I was having sex with other guys and that I was going on dates with other guys (if conversation came up ofc). And even though he always said he didn't like me telling him about other guys, I did because it just felt more honest.

    Anyway so about 2 days ago I went over to his house and we did have sex and I realised that he had slept with another girl (wont go into detail about how) a few days before I had come and it really hurt me because he wasn't honest about it and I know we are not in a relationship but he always acted like we were and I even stopped seeing a lot of guys for the past few weeks (for dates or for just sex). And I know it kind of seems unreasonable to be hurt by this because we were not in a relationship, I made it clear I didn't want to be in one and I got to do whatever I want. The thing that hurts me the most is even though I rejected all his advances, I genuinely believed he loved me and wanted to get back with me so if he did why would he sleep with someone else?

    I think I'm just being selfish though... however I still really want to emotionally destroy and hurt him. And I know exactly how but just want to know if I have a right to be upset??
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    you have every right to be upset. he conveyed feelings towards you and you let him back in, unknowing that he had done things with other girls. This is every bit his fault and nothing on you.
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    You said you stopped seeing guys for the past few weeks for dates or for just sex but... you were having sex with a few guys but when you think hes done it with 1 girl he's a criminal who's using you.

    Doesnt make sense you sound like a hypocrite who wants the world to revolve around you sorry to say.

    So no, you have absolutely no right to be upset AT him. Youre not in a relationship with him AND you dont want one but you want to control his life? You need to listen to how stupid and selfish this all sounds.

    You can be upset if you want but definitely not at the guy imo
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    It sounds like it's probably just time to walk away. You told him when you were seeing people because it felt more honest, but he didn't like hearing about it. He didn't tell you for whatever reason, but you wanted to know. It's reasonable to be upset, sure, but to 'emotionally destroy him and hurt him' would be going way too far. I'd just call it quits and cut ties, personally
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    Kinda stupid to still be sleeping with him after you've broken up. And you can't complain about him sleeping with other people when 1) you dumped him 2) you were sleeping with other guys 3) he tried to make things happen with you again and you shot him down.

    You guys should just stop speaking to each other for good and move on. The whole having regular sex with your ex while also sleeping with several other guys is just wrong and not going to work.

    Also, if you found out about him sleeping with someone else because he *let* you find out or otherwise made it obvious then he's doing it to make you jealous and as a game. Down to the fact you've been doing this whole thing in the first place.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please dont quote

    I was in a relationship with a guy.for about 4 months however I broke up with him because I was having a lot of trust issues and didn't feel I was ready to get serious and also our personalities were the opposite so I didn't thing we would work well in the long term. We decided that we would remain friends because we were quite close before however I think this was the biggest mistake.

    From then on I felt like all he did was manipulate into having sex with him and all the times in between he would act like this love sick puppy who wants me back. And every time I would believe that he genuinely had feelings for me (because he was so loving during the relationship and I broke up with him) and have sex with him then feel used and regret it the next day. I dont doubt that he DOES have feelings for me because I mean even during the period that I was adamant that I would not, he still acted lovingly and caring etc And he even told my sister that he really loved me. And he always says all these really gushy things etc which was one of the reasons I broke up with him because I cannot handle people who are too emotional.

    Again even though I felt like this and was clearly not over him and not able to handle the whole friends with benefits thing and knew he still had feelings for me... I did not want a relationship with him. I made this very clear... since again he is my close friend I told that I was having sex with other guys and that I was going on dates with other guys (if conversation came up ofc). And even though he always said he didn't like me telling him about other guys, I did because it just felt more honest.

    Anyway so about 2 days ago I went over to his house and we did have sex and I realised that he had slept with another girl (wont go into detail about how) a few days before I had come and it really hurt me because he wasn't honest about it and I know we are not in a relationship but he always acted like we were and I even stopped seeing a lot of guys for the past few weeks (for dates or for just sex). And I know it kind of seems unreasonable to be hurt by this because we were not in a relationship, I made it clear I didn't want to be in one and I got to do whatever I want. The thing that hurts me the most is even though I rejected all his advances, I genuinely believed he loved me and wanted to get back with me so if he did why would he sleep with someone else?

    I think I'm just being selfish though... however I still really want to emotionally destroy and hurt him. And I know exactly how but just want to know if I have a right to be upset??
    just wanted to quote :chuckle:
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    You dumped him, he can shag who ever he likes. You cant cherry pick what you want from a relationship and not have one. i.e. suck it up and stop being a petulent child over it.
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    This is going to sound really stupid but watch a HIMYM episode called "Hooked"...

    You cant complain if you've been pushing someone away who wants a relationship with you and then they do move on - he probably should have told you seeing as you have some kind of unspoken friends with benefits agreement going on, but I honestly can't blame him ... Sorry ... You've both kind of been jerks to each other. Anyway hope you feel better
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    shut him out of your life completely. anyone who is going to manipulate you and make you feel as bad as you feel now is not worth your time. let him go and move on, in a few months time you will probably not even think of him as much anymore. it'll take time but it is best to leave it now before things get really messy
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    You have a right to be upset because it's a messy situation but you don't have the right to be upset with or cruel to him. You're not in a relationship and it was your choice not to be. You didn't want the commitment and you used that to your own benefit by dating other guys. You can't now blame him for doing the exact same thing to you. He more than likely felt just as hurt every time you told him about all the guys you were sleeping with (and was probably trying to be kind and save you that grief by not telling you about the girl straight away) (although he told you in the end so I'm not even sure what the problem is).

    Sorry but I've been in the guy's position before, if you don't want him he has every right to go and find someone who does. It hurts being tagged along by someone who doesn't want you but doesn't want to let you go. I really loved the guy who did what you're doing to me but I realised it wasn't fair and started putting myself first, just like you've been doing this whole time. You can't blame him for wanting better.
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    You're acting really hypocritical. You sleep with guys, but are sad when he sleeps with other girls? Truth is you just liked the attention and now when he's giving it to other girls you are hurt.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please dont quote

    I was in a relationship with a guy.for about 4 months however I broke up with him because I was having a lot of trust issues and didn't feel I was ready to get serious and also our personalities were the opposite so I didn't thing we would work well in the long term. We decided that we would remain friends because we were quite close before however I think this was the biggest mistake.

    From then on I felt like all he did was manipulate into having sex with him and all the times in between he would act like this love sick puppy who wants me back. And every time I would believe that he genuinely had feelings for me (because he was so loving during the relationship and I broke up with him) and have sex with him then feel used and regret it the next day. I dont doubt that he DOES have feelings for me because I mean even during the period that I was adamant that I would not, he still acted lovingly and caring etc And he even told my sister that he really loved me. And he always says all these really gushy things etc which was one of the reasons I broke up with him because I cannot handle people who are too emotional.

    Again even though I felt like this and was clearly not over him and not able to handle the whole friends with benefits thing and knew he still had feelings for me... I did not want a relationship with him. I made this very clear... since again he is my close friend I told that I was having sex with other guys and that I was going on dates with other guys (if conversation came up ofc). And even though he always said he didn't like me telling him about other guys, I did because it just felt more honest.

    Anyway so about 2 days ago I went over to his house and we did have sex and I realised that he had slept with another girl (wont go into detail about how) a few days before I had come and it really hurt me because he wasn't honest about it and I know we are not in a relationship but he always acted like we were and I even stopped seeing a lot of guys for the past few weeks (for dates or for just sex). And I know it kind of seems unreasonable to be hurt by this because we were not in a relationship, I made it clear I didn't want to be in one and I got to do whatever I want. The thing that hurts me the most is even though I rejected all his advances, I genuinely believed he loved me and wanted to get back with me so if he did why would he sleep with someone else?

    I think I'm just being selfish though... however I still really want to emotionally destroy and hurt him. And I know exactly how but just want to know if I have a right to be upset??
    oops
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    Your just an attention seeking hypocrite
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    (Original post by 1010marina)
    This is going to sound really stupid but watch a HIMYM episode called "Hooked"...

    You cant complain if you've been pushing someone away who wants a relationship with you and then they do move on - he probably should have told you seeing as you have some kind of unspoken friends with benefits agreement going on, but I honestly can't blame him ... Sorry ... You've both kind of been jerks to each other. Anyway hope you feel better
    I watched that episode and honestly I feel like it helped me more than most of the posts here so thanks. I do understand what I'm doing now and I'm less angry at him just more upset... I think I should talk to him about it then cut him off... right now :lol:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I watched that episode and honestly I feel like it helped me more than most of the posts here so thanks. I do understand what I'm doing now and I'm less angry at him just more upset... I think I should talk to him about it then cut him off... right now :lol:
    So you can whore around but he can't? You seem a real catch :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Napp)
    So you can whore around but he can't? You seem a real catch :rolleyes:
    i think it was just the timing. If he had "whore"ed around during the time that i was, i would not have minded at all but its the fact he decided to do that when i realised that i really liked him and stopped seeing other guys. which isnt his fault
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i think it was just the timing. If he had "whore"ed around during the time that i was, i would not have minded at all but its the fact he decided to do that when i realised that i really liked him and stopped seeing other guys. which isnt his fault
    You imply you stopped seeing them out of some kind of philanphropy? I can assure you in no universe does that ever make sense..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please dont quote

    I was in a relationship with a guy.for about 4 months however I broke up with him because I was having a lot of trust issues and didn't feel I was ready to get serious and also our personalities were the opposite so I didn't thing we would work well in the long term. We decided that we would remain friends because we were quite close before however I think this was the biggest mistake.

    From then on I felt like all he did was manipulate into having sex with him and all the times in between he would act like this love sick puppy who wants me back. And every time I would believe that he genuinely had feelings for me (because he was so loving during the relationship and I broke up with him) and have sex with him then feel used and regret it the next day. I dont doubt that he DOES have feelings for me because I mean even during the period that I was adamant that I would not, he still acted lovingly and caring etc And he even told my sister that he really loved me. And he always says all these really gushy things etc which was one of the reasons I broke up with him because I cannot handle people who are too emotional.

    Again even though I felt like this and was clearly not over him and not able to handle the whole friends with benefits thing and knew he still had feelings for me... I did not want a relationship with him. I made this very clear... since again he is my close friend I told that I was having sex with other guys and that I was going on dates with other guys (if conversation came up ofc). And even though he always said he didn't like me telling him about other guys, I did because it just felt more honest.

    Anyway so about 2 days ago I went over to his house and we did have sex and I realised that he had slept with another girl (wont go into detail about how) a few days before I had come and it really hurt me because he wasn't honest about it and I know we are not in a relationship but he always acted like we were and I even stopped seeing a lot of guys for the past few weeks (for dates or for just sex). And I know it kind of seems unreasonable to be hurt by this because we were not in a relationship, I made it clear I didn't want to be in one and I got to do whatever I want. The thing that hurts me the most is even though I rejected all his advances, I genuinely believed he loved me and wanted to get back with me so if he did why would he sleep with someone else?

    I think I'm just being selfish though... however I still really want to emotionally destroy and hurt him. And I know exactly how but just want to know if I have a right to be upset??
    You guys have been dating for less than 4 months in total. You cant love someone in 4 months. Anyone who says you can has been watching too many romcoms.
 
 
 
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