The Student Room Group

Bad friend (s)

Posting as ANON because I don't want my friends to see, if you expose me thats incredibly horrible and I will probably cry.

Anyways.

Basically sixth form started and everybody went into their groups. Now the school is pretty much group divided, as in...you don't go and speak to people at lunchtime/breaktime/out of school unless theyre in your "group".

My school is very elitist and I made a good group of friends. However, the girls simply faded one by one. I dated one, broke up with her...her and her mates left. Then out of the remaining girls, 2 left school and now theres like 2 girls left that I can simply talk to PROPERLY in school.

Anyways, my guy mates have really scared me recently. Basically I've been flirting with a girl outside of our "group" and they don't like it. They see me as the guy who is big headed and arrogant. However, that isn't the case. They are simply unfair and recently they've been ignoring me. (Not inviting me out, ignoring me on msn...etc).

Soooooooo I'm stuck for ideas. I've basically lost my nice group of friends and I don't know what to do. Theres only a week left of school and I want to make sure that I leave things NICELY. Therefore, what do you guys think I should do?

Heres the choices I've come up with..

1. Intergrate and leave my old friends behind. This would mean simply spending more time with a different group of people and making friends with them. (very difficult)

2. Try my hardest to get my old friends back. (difficult)

3. Just leave it, friends in school aren't worthwhile. (easy)

I know I sound like a prat but I really need advice, I don't want to make the wrong decision and end up a loner :frown:.
I assume you're in lower sixth? Well, frankly, I suggest you find yourself some nicer friends. :s-smilie: Tell these people you don't want them controlling who you can and can't be friends with, and you'd like it if they still wanted to be your friend, but if they didn't, that's their problem. And then go and find some friends who don't mind a bit of inter-group friendship (can't believe I'm saying that). Ridiculous social system if you ask me. I refuse to believe any decent friends would fall out with you for flirting with someone who wasn't in your little social circle - and you found out the dangers of flirting with friends the hard way. Sod them, do what you like, you can't choose your friends... if they clearly don't want to act like your friends, they're not your friends.
Reply 2
I agree with the above, these 'friends' aren't worth your time. Spend time with your friends outside of school and/ or try to intergrate with another group. Hopefully, they'll treat you better, and won't be so childish. Bad friends aren't worth the time of day.
I envy the fact you ever had a nice group of freinds, these people sound like the kind of people that made me a loner in the first place.

Personally Id love to say **** em, but a hollow freindship leaves you with much less depression than just being alone. And if you dont feel up to making new freinds then I geuss its option 2 for you.

I was in a similar situation once and stuck with my old friends (or 2 of them) and they turned out to be selfish thoughtless backstabbers and I regret not socialising more with other people.
If I were back then I would select option 1 I have tried personally 2 and 3 and regretted both.
Reply 4
Spend the rest of this year seeing if your current friendships can be salvaged. If that fails, next year talk to more people outside your 'group' until you find people that you get on well enough with that it won't seem weird if you start hanging round with them all the time. If you never normally talk to anyone outside your 'group', a week probably won't be enough time to start from scratch.
Reply 5
As you say that you only have a week left of school I would be very shrewd and make an effort with your existing friends. However if any one person outside your group makes an effort to talk to you then don't ignore them.
Personally I find the situation that you are in very archaic and pathetic but hey its common knowledge that kids can be cruel.
Come september I would make an effort to integrate, it will be hard but its obvious that you want to and I think you could be happier.
If it makes you feel better try making the effort away from the prying eyes of your 'group' for the first couple of months if possible, to make it easier for you.

It infuriates me how these situations can arise, segregation is just a snowball for worse things, thats how Hitler came to power for goodness sake.

Well thats my rant over. lol ;-)

Look make yourself happy, dont be afraid to stand up to the system.
There life outside school and those which keep this attitude up may be in for a shock when they join the 'Grown Up' world.