Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    They are very strained, it is best not to ask them for anything. In my family, it's just mother but it is quite similar with other relatives. No one calls to ask how you are, where you are, if you are going to school or working, etc. It is beginning to affect other areas. I meet people but I still feel lonely and incomplete. I have no one to call to talk about normal concerns, really. I am having trouble and it's getting hard to carry on. I tried going it alone at university for a while, with work, etc. but I don't know how much longer I can do this ... because I can't live with superficial relationships or none, and I can never be me. What should I do??
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They are very strained, it is best not to ask them for anything. In my family, it's just mother but it is quite similar with other relatives. No one calls to ask how you are, where you are, if you are going to school or working, etc. It is beginning to affect other areas. I meet people but I still feel lonely and incomplete. I have no one to call to talk about normal concerns, really. I am having trouble and it's getting hard to carry on. I tried going it alone at university for a while, with work, etc. but I don't know how much longer I can do this ... because I can't live with superficial relationships or none, and I can never be me. What should I do??
    My family relations are strained too, just try to watch what you say/spend you not taking a student loan? You should be able to afford.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ckfeister)
    My family relations are strained too, just try to watch what you say/spend you not taking a student loan? You should be able to afford.
    Ok, my trouble is I feel too lonely and without a safe place to go to. I can't go on with this feeling because it affects everything and my relationships with others ... and it gets tiring to do everything alone. I can't be me, I don't want to come back to an empty room, etc.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Create your own new safe spaces and build a life that is more separate from your family. Take up new acitivites that involve meeting new people, and really invest in those people. It will take time, but the sense of belonging you are looking for comes from what you create and put in.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, my trouble is I feel too lonely and without a safe place to go to. I can't go on with this feeling because it affects everything and my relationships with others ... and it gets tiring to do everything alone. I can't be me, I don't want to come back to an empty room, etc.
    This is going to sound harsh (reality is sometimes) but this is what I do " shut up and do, progress and get out and as far as possible ", also maybe bf/gf whatever your in, but don't go too cheap and make sure its someone you is similar to you but not too similar (if you know what I mean), also ignore the crap that people say on this site about " don't have a relationship when in education ", its a load of crap.

    Goodluck on life... I'm in similar situation but I'm almost cold-hearted in some ways so I take it in easier.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Double Agent)
    Create your own new safe spaces and build a life that is more separate from your family. Take up new acitivites that involve meeting new people, and really invest in those people. It will take time, but the sense of belonging you are looking for comes from what you create and put in.
    Well, I tried that. I feel rootless and like I am missing something. You make friends but they will go their own way after university (or before, you can't rely on them) and they can't help you with personal problems. This was my feeling. You see why it's so unfulfilling? I am sick of giving but not getting what I need.
    It makes me feel there is no point to anything. Do you know how it feels when you could be in the streets and nobody would care, nobody calls, etc.? If you do, please tell me how you have dealt with it and how to live a healthy life anyway. The closest relationship I have is with food, I could exist without all other superficial relationships. It's just not a healthy base to go into the world. Maybe I shouldn't have gone to a different country, but really it feels the same or worse in mine.
    Tried going to relatives' but clearly they think I just want to scrounge instead of feel like I have someone to call my own.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 11, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.