Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    #1

    (sorry this is long but i really need your help!)

    hi, i went out with this guy 4 about 5 months & really loved him. We were really close but then we both got quite stressed due to his workload, my exams etc. We were arguing quite a bit so he ended it with me. I was heartbroken.
    Anyway, i heard he was going out with another girl a few days later and it hurt me so much that i wanted 2 get back at him i suppose. I thought i liked this other guy so i ended up stealing him off a girl he'd been seeing and we started seeing each other. I then got really confused and thought i was still in love with my ex so i stopped seeing him. but he kept ringing n texting and in the end i ended up goin out with him again probably cos i was lonely. all of our friends were goin on hols together so we booked a hol 2 greece which is due 2 happen in a month's time.
    But recently all i have been thinking about is my ex. I keep calling my new bf his name n things. I know im still in love with him. but my new bf thinks im in love with him. he's a really nice guy he pays for everything and treats me like a princess but i can't seem to love him.
    The other night me n my new bf saw my ex in a club and all my feelings came flooding back. I had to run to the toilets so my bf didnt see me cry. My bf hates my ex and tried to hit him for coming near me but when he wasnt there I spoke to my ex and he said all he could think about was me and he got rid of the girl he was seeing cos he was still in love with me. I feel the same, and yesterday he met me from work and i ended up cheating on my bf with him. I even went out clubbing with him and his mates and told my bf i was somewhere else. The friends that know are covering for us cos they can see were still in love.
    Thing is...me n my bf have paid £300 each for this hol and he's really looking forward to it. I cant not go as we'll lose all the money and it'll hurt him so much. My friends say go on the hol then break up with him...is that the best thing?? reading this you must think im really nasty but i just love my ex too much and i guess i rushed into things with this guy.
    please give me suggestions on what to do! thanks for reading.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It must be a horrible situation, for everyone involved.
    But to save people feelings you have to do the honest thing, i dont think it would be right to still go on the hoiday when you know you are in love with your ex and by the sounds of it are pretty much back together.
    Also youre bf is probably thinking that this holiday is going to be romantic and bring you closer together.
    It'd be harsh to lead your bf on for the next month or so, so its probably best to tell him, and obviously you'll feel horrible for the holiday but im sure he'd prefer that than to be lead on.
    Plus if you tell him now, he could arrange for someone else to go? you could give them the ticket and they could pay the you the money for it so you dont lose out? (the sleeping arrangemets might be a problem though :P)
    Good luck
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I think you are really nasty. I also think that if you string him along for a nice holliday just so you won't loose money makes you a bit twisted. You need to tell him the truth and now.
    Offline

    14
    no its not the best thing you should break up with him now. itl hurt him more knowing hes been strung along.
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Wiki Support Team
    No, I don't think you're nasty, I think you're in a pretty complicated situation. That said, you don't seem to know your own mind at all.

    **** the holiday, £300 isn't important. You can decide what you want to do with that after. The big question is, can you see you and your ex getting back together? After all, you've been out with him twice, but you've also broken up twice. Would it really work between you two? If so, then I'm sorry, as sympathetic as I'd like to be towards your new boyfriend, there's not much that can be done about it - you love your ex and you shouldn't make yourself unhappy for the new guy. If it really wouldn't work between you two, then is it worth the heartbreak trying?

    Second most important question is, what do you want to do about your new boyfriend? If it wouldn't work between you and your ex, do you think you'd just be fooling yourself (and, of course, him) if you carried on seeing the new guy? If not, carry on by all means. But if you would - and I suspect you would - you might prefer to be single for a while. Do whatever it is you do to get over your ex.

    The holiday really is a subsidiary issue, don't let that bother you till you've decided who it is you actually love. It really is unimportant - go anyway, but don't sit next to him on the flight and do separate stuff. Or (if he doesn't want to go) get a friend of yours to buy his ticket. Or you sell your ticket to one of his friends. It's not the issue here. Edit: however, I did neglect to mention that you shouldn't pretend everything's fine until after the holiday. I agree with the above posters, that would be nasty.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    I do not think you are mature enough to be in a relationship. You are clearly not over your ex. To be honest don't have a great deal of sympathy for you either, you got yourself into this no one else. I feel sorry for the girl who's boyfriend you stole. Least do the decent thing and end it with your boyfriend, but he will be very upset but it's best not to string him along anymore.

    Ask for your ex don't go back to him, he's already cheated on his girlfriend for you, what's to stop him doing the same to you. According to your last thread he doesn't want you anyway http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...28#post8723028
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Firstly, i can understand why I'm getting negative replies, but I just want to say...if youre in love with someone you'll know how i feel. I know i made a big mistake and I'm not proud of myself but I'm not twisted just confused.
    I don't want to be told im nasty i already know that i just need advice.

    generalebriety... I can see me & my ex getting back together as last night felt like we'd never been apart. We both know were going to lose friends over this but I realised i had so much fun yesterday and thats what i dont have with my new bf. I just don't think we like the same things.
    Oh and me n my ex went out once not twice by the way!
    Also, i think even if i didnt get back with my ex, I would still feel the same about my bf.
    My sister says i should stop seeing my ex until after the holiday because the hol might make me realise i do actually like this guy and might help me get over my ex.

    Rock fan...he made a mistake just like everyone does. It doesnt mean he doesnt want me back.
    • #2
    #2

    i hate these horrible situations, something similar happened to me.
    basically i got together with my gf, and then i found out she hadn't really broken up with her old bf yet... and she had to hide us from her parents cos they disapproved. and she had already booked a holiday for her whole family to stay at her boyfriends place (long distance relationship, thats why he didnt find out) etc etc... its a lot more complicated than this but the gist is that she ended up going back and holidaying with her old bf for a week during the hols. the situation sucked for both of us (i personally felt very hard done by) and it was quite unfair to her bf also considering shed been sleeping with me for the past couple of months.

    so i guess my advice is not to string him along. losing the money is one thing but screwing up your life just isnt worth it...
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by XK-louX)
    Firstly, i can understand why I'm getting negative replies, but I just want to say...if youre in love with someone you'll know how i feel. I know i made a big mistake and I'm not proud of myself but I'm not twisted just confused.
    I don't want to be told im nasty i already know that i just need advice.

    generalebriety... I can see me & my ex getting back together as last night felt like we'd never been apart. We both know were going to lose friends over this but I realised i had so much fun yesterday and thats what i dont have with my new bf. I just don't think we like the same things.
    Oh and me n my ex went out once not twice by the way!
    Also, i think even if i didnt get back with my ex, I would still feel the same about my bf.
    My sister says i should stop seeing my ex until after the holiday because the hol might make me realise i do actually like this guy and might help me get over my ex.

    Rock fan...he made a mistake just like everyone does. It doesnt mean he doesnt want me back.
    There is no justification for cheating love. As I say you are not mature enough to be in a relationship if your feelings keep changing and getting confused. You need to stop stringing this guy along as you don't feel much for him.

    Actually I could cut all contact with both guys.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Actually I could cut all contact with both guys.
    ahahahahah. thats what my gf said at one point as well. (hopefully she was just joking, but you never know. girls are crazy XP)
    seriously tho, i doubt its going to work if you really like him...
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Also didn't you just say your ex has a new girlfriend anyway?
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    £300 IS important. Unless you organise some kind of replacement, some way to get the money back, you should go on it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    no he was seeing a girl for a bit but she threatened me because she thought he still liked me and that annoyed him so he finished it with her cos he still loves me. She still rings him cos apparently shes in love with him but he doesnt want anything to do with her.
    also, it's not my fault i'm still in love with him.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by XK-louX)
    no he was seeing a girl for a bit but she threatened me because she thought he still liked me and that annoyed him so he finished it with her cos he still loves me. She still rings him cos apparently shes in love with him but he doesnt want anything to do with her.
    also, it's not my fault i'm still in love with him.
    What does that tell you, all he does is hurt every girl's feelings.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    and yes, £300 is important...exactly. Hurting him is 1 thing, making him lose all that money is just being even worse to him. I think i'm going to stop seeing my ex and try and see if this relationship will work and go on the hol and see what happens. that way if my ex loves me as much as he says he does he will wait for me (he's already said he would so we'll see)
    im going to uni straight after the hol anyway.
    and this way, i can see if my ex really does love me, i can see whether i want to be with my bf or not, i wont hurt my bf more by making him lose all that money (i wont be able to find any one else 2 go) and my ex wont get beaten up by my bf as he wont know he had anything to do with it if im at uni.....or is this the most stupid thing ever??
    it might seem better to tell him the truth but i know it would hurt him more if he knew it was cos of my ex.
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by XK-louX)
    and yes, £300 is important...exactly. Hurting him is 1 thing, making him lose all that money is just being even worse to him.
    He paid for you? Well, give him the ticket and let him take a friend. Stringing him along is much worse.

    (Original post by XK-louX)
    and this way, i can see if my ex really does love me
    :rofl: By making him think you don't love him? He's not gonna wait for you if he thinks you're not interested and he finds someone else.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    What does that tell you, all he does is hurt every girl's feelings.
    He hurt me yes. he realised he made a mistake and had to hurt someone else in the process...that doesnt mean he hurts every girls feelings...that story's a bit like mine at the moment except he wasnt stupid enough to book a hol.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by generalebriety)
    He paid for you? Well, give him the ticket and let him take a friend. Stringing him along is much worse.


    :rofl: By making him think you don't love him? He's not gonna wait for you if he thinks you're not interested and he finds someone else.
    He paid for me but the plan was always that i pay him what i owe him when i get paid. he was never going to pay for me...even though he pays for everything...and that isnt a good thing as its like he thinks if he doesnt pay i wont like him.

    Also, he doesnt have many friends so i know he wont find some1 2 go with him.
    And my ex understands and he knows i will decide after the hol and he is willing to wait till then....plus he doesnt want my bf to beat him up so he's happy to keep quiet.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by XK-louX)
    He hurt me yes. he realised he made a mistake and had to hurt someone else in the process...that doesnt mean he hurts every girls feelings...that story's a bit like mine at the moment except he wasnt stupid enough to book a hol.

    He hurt you and he hurt another girl, sorry guys like him won't change. In my eyes stringing someone along is far worse than cancelling a holiday.

    You are going to Uni soon, use that as a fresh start and cut all contact. Because the bottom line is how is this relationship going to survive university..
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by XK-louX)
    He paid for me but the plan was always that i pay him what i owe him when i get paid. he was never going to pay for me...even though he pays for everything...and that isnt a good thing as its like he thinks if he doesnt pay i wont like him.

    Also, he doesnt have many friends so i know he wont find some1 2 go with him.
    And my ex understands and he knows i will decide after the hol and he is willing to wait till then....plus he doesnt want my bf to beat him up so he's happy to keep quiet.
    But you don't like him. And stringing him along is much worse than dropping out of a holiday a month in advance. He could sell the ticket. :rolleyes:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 17, 2007
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.