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Katiekarcheski
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#41
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#41
I have anxiety and it's really bad at the moment. My sister and mum also suffer and I want to help them. My sister gets no support at school and I can see my mum is at breaking point and I am anxious too which doesn't help.
I had my first panic attack today. So have been sent home. But I can see both my mum and sister are suffering. I want to help them and don't know what to do.
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Kindred
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Katiekarcheski)
I have anxiety and it's really bad at the moment. My sister and mum also suffer and I want to help them. My sister gets no support at school and I can see my mum is at breaking point and I am anxious too which doesn't help.
I had my first panic attack today. So have been sent home. But I can see both my mum and sister are suffering. I want to help them and don't know what to do.
Hi there. Sorry it took a while to get back to you.
Unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do to help people with mental health problems because it's so much inside them. Trying to change that by yourself a) just won't get anywhere and b) can be really hard on your own well being and mental health.
What you can do though is try to be supportive and potentially suggest some things that could help them. That often just means little things like trying to be open minded, the odd thing like getting them a cup of tea after a long day, running them a bath, having a casual chat etc.

Is there any support you are currently getting for your anxiety? Not only could it help you feel better, but feeling better in yourself can make you more able to be supportive of others.
A good place to start is to see your GP and discuss different types of support. School can also be useful because they'll have some form of counselling service you can use and talking about things can be a big help.

Feel free to post in the Mental Health section for some more advice. The community there can be very supportive and can often add a bit of personal experience to what they say which can be comforting. You could also have a look at some sites like mind.org, childline etc for info on mental health and relationships.

Hope that helps.
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Miss B'
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#43
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#43
Sorry to burden this thread, as this isn't about me, but I didn't want to distract with my own thread in the forum either:

I've found lots of posts supporting individuals in coping with mental health difficulties but I'm trying to find advice on how to be the person in a relationship with/ living with (some time in the near future fingers crossed :bigsmile:) / supporting someone with OCD, anxiety, depression (in order of decreasing severity.

I've looked online at 'top 10 ways to support' etc but apart from finding them very basic - Number 1: take care of yourself first. (Thanks but I'm fine) - or very contradictory and confusing - Number 2: Talk about OCD openly. Number 3: Don't talk about OCD too much (fml) - I feel a little at a loss.

I try to be supportive and gentle, but having been a little emotional myself recently I'm worried that I've been rather the opposite at a crucial time. So rather than wallow I just want to refresh find advice on what people suffering really do find supportive.

I'm aware it'll be different for different people at different points but if there are any good threads that go over this or significant websites that deal with the support from this angle I would absolutely love some pointers.

Many thanks :tee:
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Anonymous #6
#44
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#44
how long does it take for my post to be reviewed and how do I know that its been posted?
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shadowdweller
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#45
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#45
(Original post by Anonymous)
how long does it take for my post to be reviewed and how do I know that its been posted?
I'm not sure on the former part of your post I'm afraid, but in terms of the latter, you'll receive a notification to say your post has either been approved or rejected
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shadowdweller
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#46
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#46
(Original post by Miss B')
Sorry to burden this thread, as this isn't about me, but I didn't want to distract with my own thread in the forum either:

I've found lots of posts supporting individuals in coping with mental health difficulties but I'm trying to find advice on how to be the person in a relationship with/ living with (some time in the near future fingers crossed :bigsmile:) / supporting someone with OCD, anxiety, depression (in order of decreasing severity.

I've looked online at 'top 10 ways to support' etc but apart from finding them very basic - Number 1: take care of yourself first. (Thanks but I'm fine) - or very contradictory and confusing - Number 2: Talk about OCD openly. Number 3: Don't talk about OCD too much (fml) - I feel a little at a loss.

I try to be supportive and gentle, but having been a little emotional myself recently I'm worried that I've been rather the opposite at a crucial time. So rather than wallow I just want to refresh find advice on what people suffering really do find supportive.

I'm aware it'll be different for different people at different points but if there are any good threads that go over this or significant websites that deal with the support from this angle I would absolutely love some pointers.

Many thanks :tee:
Personally, my main recommendation here would be to talk directly to them about this first and foremost - ask them what kind of things help, or if any behaviours make it more frustrating for them. To some extent it will be unique to each individual, and they'll be able to give the best advice on what helps them.

I'd also say observations can help on some level; don't assume that it will mean you know exactly what they're thinking, but it can give a general idea what might trigger them, or how they calm themselves down in that situation.

To a large degree though, just you being there when they need support will be helping a lot, and letting them talk about it if they need. From the perspective of talking about it, I'd say that when you do talk about it, try to do so openly, but don't push the conversation onto it too often - I can totally understand the confusion around the two bits of advice you mentioned, but my interpretation is like that really, that you should have open and honest conversations about it when you do talk, but that it doesn't need to be a constant topic either.

Finally, I know that the 'Take care of yourself first' part can seem largely irrelevant at times, but please do keep it as a consideration. You're best placed to look after them, and after yourself, if you make sure you're not taking on more than you can handle too!
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Rigel
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#47
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#47
(Original post by shadowdweller)
Personally, my main recommendation here would be to talk directly to them about this first and foremost - ask them what kind of things help, or if any behaviours make it more frustrating for them. To some extent it will be unique to each individual, and they'll be able to give the best advice on what helps them.

I'd also say observations can help on some level; don't assume that it will mean you know exactly what they're thinking, but it can give a general idea what might trigger them, or how they calm themselves down in that situation.

To a large degree though, just you being there when they need support will be helping a lot, and letting them talk about it if they need. From the perspective of talking about it, I'd say that when you do talk about it, try to do so openly, but don't push the conversation onto it too often - I can totally understand the confusion around the two bits of advice you mentioned, but my interpretation is like that really, that you should have open and honest conversations about it when you do talk, but that it doesn't need to be a constant topic either.

Finally, I know that the 'Take care of yourself first' part can seem largely irrelevant at times, but please do keep it as a consideration. You're best placed to look after them, and after yourself, if you make sure you're not taking on more than you can handle too!
This is really good advice!
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Anonymous #7
#48
Report 1 year ago
#48
I was diagnosed with depression last year and am still battling it. This year it definitely got better. Now that I'm in y13 and I have to pick a university I don't know what to pick. One university has a better course and facilities, but my mental health may suffer due to the academic pressure; the course in the other university is less stressful but it might not prepare me for further studies after my undergraduate degree. Mental health is really important, but my future career is too... I don't know what to do
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Kindred
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#49
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#49
(Original post by Anonymous)
I was diagnosed with depression last year and am still battling it. This year it definitely got better. Now that I'm in y13 and I have to pick a university I don't know what to pick. One university has a better course and facilities, but my mental health may suffer due to the academic pressure; the course in the other university is less stressful but it might not prepare me for further studies after my undergraduate degree. Mental health is really important, but my future career is too... I don't know what to do
Maybe have a chat with student support at the uni with the better course and talk about what support they can give you to help with the pressure. I was offered a study mentor who I could meet with regularly to talk about work and some other things like optional extensions for my coursework and private rooms for exams. Support like that could help you to manage the more intense course and still take care of your mental health.
You could also have a think about taking a year out to improve your mental health before uni. That's very much up to you and if you think it would help or hinder you. It's an option though.

Is there anything else about the unis that could help you make your decision (whats the accommodation like, how easy is shopping, are there interesting societies, would you be closer to support from family etc). Personally a good choice for me was a uni with close shopping, where my accommodation was near my lectures and I had my bf for support. It meant I was better able to take care of my mental health and didn't have to push myself so much to do things like getting to lectures and feedintng myself.
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Hesam60
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#50
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#50
Hi , is there anyone?
(Original post by Paracosm)
Peer Support Volunteers
Ask us anything!


Peer Support Volunteers (or PSV as they're often called) are very skilled, trained people that are tasked with looking after our more vulnerable members. The role of a member of the PSV is to respond to any posts that contain current suicidal and/or self-harm related thoughts and to get in contact with the person who's posted it, they make sure people know they've been heard and signpost them to amazing services that can help such as Nightline, Samaritans and Childline.

Deyesy, a member of the PSV has volunteered to take any questions you might have about the role!

For more information about the Peer Support Volunteers and how to join, see here.

Disclaimer: We want everyone to be able to take part in this, but we cannot answer sensitive questions regarding moderation or members of the community specifically. The Community Team would be happy to discuss moderation with you in Ask the Community Team (AtCT). You can, however, ask about what we would do in certain situations, etc.! Please don't ask any mean questions either.

AMA participants:
Participants and bios
Deyesy:
Bio
I'm Deyesy (my actual name is Chris) and I'm part of the Peer Support Volunteer (PSV) team along with *Interrobang*, BurstingBubbles, moonkatt, randdom and shadowdweller. Our role is to respond to any posts which contain present suicidal and/or self-harm thoughts and get in get contact with the person who's posted it.

We let them know that someone has heard what they're saying and that someone has seen that they're going through a difficult time. We signpost to them to places such The Samaritans, Nightline or Childline who have volunteers trained to deal with this type of content and explain to them the reasons behind their post being edited or in incredibly rare circumstances, why their post has been removed.

We do this on top of supporting our own sections (in my instance; mental health) and it's a really rewarding role.

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shadowdweller
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#51
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#51
(Original post by Hesam60)
Hi , is there anyone?
Hey, what's up?
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Anonymous #7
#52
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#52
I know it's a little too late, but does it help to mention to unis that I have mental issues that affect my studies? I couldn't study the day before my exam as my brain is clouded and cannot function the way I want it to... I regret not putting it on UCAS as I thought I'd manage to get by. I'm increasing worried that I won't meet any of my offers!
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Anonymous #8
#53
Report 10 months ago
#53
What should we do if someone we met online is threatening to kill himself ?
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Anonymous #8
#54
Report 10 months ago
#54
Also i am having some sadness due to home sickness and lack of independence and freedom if i go home i have no freedom and if i stay i feel homesick i am really lost at what to do
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shadowdweller
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#55
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#55
(Original post by Anonymous)
What should we do if someone we met online is threatening to kill himself ?
I would suggest sending them contact details for Samaritans and PAPYRUS, as well as encouraging them to see their GP if they can. Talk to them about things if you feel you are able, but it definitely sounds like they need support beyond that.
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shadowdweller
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#56
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#56
(Original post by Anonymous)
Also i am having some sadness due to home sickness and lack of independence and freedom if i go home i have no freedom and if i stay i feel homesick i am really lost at what to do
Have you tried joining any societies or meetup groups near you? Sometimes finding activities to do, and people to talk to, can help with homesickness! It's natural to feel homesick at times, and sometimes it does just pass by itself too.
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spacegirl3
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#57
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#57
Hi
Is there a way to message you privately?
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shadowdweller
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#58
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#58
(Original post by spacegirl3)
Hi
Is there a way to message you privately?
Hi - yeah, you can send people PMs, either by going to their profile and the 'Contact Info' tab, or by hovering over the envelope in the top bar of the screen. clicking 'Send New PM', and entering the name in the recipients field
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spacegirl3
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#59
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#59
(Original post by shadowdweller)
Hi - yeah, you can send people PMs, either by going to their profile and the 'Contact Info' tab, or by hovering over the envelope in the top bar of the screen. clicking 'Send New PM', and entering the name in the recipients field
How can I do that for the peer support volunteers
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shadowdweller
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#60
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#60
(Original post by spacegirl3)
How can I do that for the peer support volunteers
It depends what you need really - as the PSV team, we can direct you to sources for support, if that would be helpful to you?
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