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    Not too sure how to phrase this..

    Basically last week I got my first kiss and first proper boyfriend (yay!) on a school trip. Although I've been on dates, mostly organised by my 'friends' :rolleyes: I hadn't met anyone that I wanted to embark on a real relationship with, but something with this guy clicked when I least expected it.

    After it became 'official' we were practically inseparable for the rest of the trip, much to the amusement of onlookers, and on the way back home he said 'I love you'. Now we'd only known each other properly for about 5 days (though I'd seen him about at school) so I was kinda surprised he said it so soon!

    The one thing that's niggling me though is his 'sexual past'. Whereas I'm a 17 year old virgin, he's a 19 year old whose slept with more people than I can count on 4 hands. However, he's only said 'I love you' to one other girl, with most of his encounters being one night stands. From what he's told me I think he's had some issues and people don't take the time to get to know him properly, so he resorts to getting gratification from meaningless sex.

    Two questions:
    1. How long have people waited before saying I love you?
    2. Should I be worried about his past activities, or simply accept that this was before I knew him and just have some fun during my last year at school?
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    You have four hands?

    Erm... wait and see what happens. If you're not comfortable with saying it then don't feel compelled to, but I wouldn't condemn him for saying it. Some people mean different things by it. He might genuinely mean it... it's difficult to say that after under a week, but maybe he genuinely feels more "in love" with you than he has with his other 20 girlfriends.
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    I just hope he geniunely means it and it not saying it so you are simply the latest girl he lures into bed.
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    I'm happy for you
    All I can say is, despite his experienced past, dont feel pressured into doing anything you dont want to, whether its saying "I love you" to him, or having sex.
    Get to know him first, especially as you've said you think this is where he has gone wrong before.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    I just hope he geniunely means it and it not saying it so you are simply the latest girl he lures into bed.
    Ditto. As sweet as it was, he's going to have to wait a while before getting in my pants.

    Oh and btw, surprisingly I don't have four hands.
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    Only say you love him when you truely mean it, this may in a few weeks or months, but dont feel pressured into saying it. If you feel you have any issues with his past simply talk to him about it
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    I waited a good few of months, perhaps even as much as a year before saying the three magic words to my ex.
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    (Original post by symphonic)
    Ditto. As sweet as it was, he's going to have to wait a while before getting in my pants.

    Oh and btw, surprisingly I don't have four hands.
    Yes, best way is to take your time.
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    Awww.

    He sounds cool, just don't be lovin him back otherwise he'll chew you up and spit you out as fast as I can say supercalafragalisticexpealodicio us (or spell it).
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    (Original post by Bedshaped)
    Awww.

    He sounds cool, just don't be lovin him back otherwise he'll chew you up and spit you out as fast as I can say supercalafragalisticexpealodicio us (or spell it).
    :withstupi Indeed. Be cautious to start with. I reckon time "getting to know eachother", may be rather rewarding in this particular situation though. Maybe you can set him on the straight n' narrow

    I hope all goes well m'Dear.

    Becca <3.
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    You have four hands?
    That's probably why he said it.
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    Well, the whole sexual past thing wouldn't bother me as long as he didn't proper screw with people (not literally) but the whole saying I love you thing, just think, no, despite being a strong hand for love at first sight etc in all my quixoticness, I feel love at first sight is true, yet you wouldn't say it out of fear if you were indeed in love, if you get me?
    So aye, I would explore the whole I love you thing because I wouldn't be sure about that.
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    (Original post by teenageclay)
    Well, the whole sexual past thing wouldn't bother me as long as he didn't proper screw with people (not literally) but the whole saying I love you thing, just think, no, despite being a strong hand for love at first sight etc in all my quixoticness, I feel love at first sight is true, yet you wouldn't say it out of fear if you were indeed in love, if you get me?
    So aye, I would explore the whole I love you thing because I wouldn't be sure about that.
    I understand the first bit, but what do you mean by saying it out of fear, fear of what?
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    I don't see why people are so hung up about saying "I love you". When I get into a relationship with a girl, of course I love her! It's as if people have a 'quota' of times they can say it without it meaning as much, and that's just not true.
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    (Original post by symphonic)
    I understand the first bit, but what do you mean by saying it out of fear, fear of what?
    I know what you mean I said that really wierd, what I meant to say was that you wouldn't say it, due to fear you are wrong, it's hard to say it normally. Basically you're scared you are wrong so you wouldn't say it to them. Kinda sounds more correct :s
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    (Original post by teenageclay)
    I know what you mean I said that really wierd, what I meant to say was that you wouldn't say it, due to fear you are wrong, it's hard to say it normally. Basically you're scared you are wrong so you wouldn't say it to them. Kinda sounds more correct :s
    So basically, he can't have meant it because if he did then he wouldn't have said it, because he would have been too scared to commit like that. I get you!
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    It's great that you've found someone.

    Different people will say it at different times. The guys I have been with have waited for about a month.

    Don't say it back if you don't mean it but you don't have to not be with him for his sexual past. Everyone has done something in their past and if we all payed attention to that we wouldn't get on with anyone. (Okay, that worked better in my head)

    Basically, his past has nothing to do with his future really, and it should detract from how much you like him.
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    (Original post by symphonic)
    So basically, he can't have meant it because if he did then he wouldn't have said it, because he would have been too scared to commit like that. I get you!
    You got me ^^
    Then again he could be right seeing as I don't speak for the enamoured nation ^^
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    Whilst it does surprise me he's saying that early on, I don't think it would be fair to look negatively upon it. Given his past of brief and fairly meaningless relationships, my guess is that he's trying to show you that you're different to them and that he really wants your relationship to be a serious one. If you think he's genuine about what he's saying, he sounds like he's really interested in you, and even if you don't feel you love him yet (you can hardly be expected to after a few days), it can be a good sign.
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    (Original post by symphonic)
    Two questions:
    1. How long have people waited before saying I love you?
    2. Should I be worried about his past activities, or simply accept that this was before I knew him and just have some fun during my last year at school?
    Firstly, im very happy for you, all the best

    And to answer your questions:

    Well with my ex: he said it after we'd been going out for two weeks :eek:
    Needless to say i dint say it back, cause i didnt love him, but i actually did believe him.

    And with my current bf: we were sort of getting together over a period of 6 months (very complicated situation as we were best friends) i confessed my feelings to him before we were official, and when i was drunk (very embarressing) i dont think he said it back.
    Then he said it to me a few weeks after we'd been going out, but it really wasnt premature as we'd been "involved" for over 6 months at that point.

    And to your second question, i think you have to listen to your gut feeling, if you know his past does bother you, then pretending it doesnt wont achieve anything, but if you really like him (sounds like you do ) then its really worth giving it a go.

    Good luck!
 
 
 
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