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Finding it really hard to get over someone watch

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    I've just finished my second year of Uni and I'm at home now. I met this girl in the first year who lived in my halls. As soon as I saw her I thought she was absolutely amazing edging on the incredible. She has a b/f though and me being pretty shy and timid thought a girl like that would never have anything to do with me and I was pretty self conscious and didn't have a good time in school and my self esteem was rock bottom and I was using Uni as a "new start" sort of thing for my life. A new me perhaps...

    So anyway being quite shy and withheld as that's what I am, I eventually got to know the people in my halls and I made good friends with the boys and girls I lived with. After a few months I realised just how much I liked her, then we became more and more friends, I realised she liked me and I came out of my shell with her and she did with me. I saw a lovely side to her that no-one else had her personality was great. In fact I'm a little annoyed at how attractive she is because I love her personality more than her looks. We would go out on nights out and always end up together in a club and we always danced together and kissed a lot on nights out. We pretty much always went back together but never had sex because of her having a b/f and the fact that it just never happened.

    Anyway, we would end up like this together on nights out like this about two or three times a week, we would chat for hours on msn and text each other loads. I then realised in my opinion I was in love with her. Like seriously, I have enormous feelings for this girl and when we're together it just feels so right. I have an enormous smile on my face and we get on so well it's unreal. I may as well have been her b/f cos we did everything together she was seeing her b/f less and less we got very close and slept together and spent an awful lot of time together...

    She's bright, attractive and completely on my wavelength, she is the only girl I have ever got on with this well. I've had a g/f of 8 months in the past but it ended pre-uni and she was quite attractive.

    So now after 2 years she's started to see her b/f more and more and she's going abroad with her course for a year next year. Our friendship has dropped and I am now just a friend to her so she says... I love her so much though and I can't stop thinking about her to the point that I've done badly on my exams and facing resitting the year I'm so sad about this. i've suffered with depression before and now I feel depressed and unwanted. I'm letting it really get to me to the point where I'm making myself ill with thoughts I get upset and cry myself to sleep sometimes. Think I'm sad? I'm 20... but I find this so hard.

    I just can't see me ever getting to know a girl like her ever again. I'm pretty shy and it's only because I've lived with her for a 2 years that she got to know me. I feel as if I've wasted my Uni life going after her and now I'm completely alone in the world. I have few friends and she was my life.

    I'm never going to go out with her now. A few things have happened and she just isn't what I want. She slept with another boy I used to live with on a drunken night out and her attitude towards things have changed. Let's just say she's not g/f material. But that doesn't make it any easier I love her and the thought of "having" her just in my life no more is killing me.

    I say I love her. I know people on here get in a mood when it's just a crush and people say love, but I honestly believe i'm in love with this girl. My feelings are incredibly incredibly strong.

    There's not much point to this post, I don't expect an answer I just feel better now I've got this off my chest just by writing it. Thanks for reading.

    I feel so sad
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    I dont really know what I can say that will help you in any way. Your situation does sound difficult Despite it being cliche i suppose the only thing that you can do is to try and move on. Meeting new people would probably help to get your mind off her, and if you dont think she's girlfriend material then it could make it easier to move on.
    Try and concentrate on making an effort to meet new people, just because you felt that you 'clicked' with her doesn't mean you wont 'click' with anyone else! Try and remain positive..to be honest you sound too good for her!
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    Time is the only healer, unfortunatly you will just have to accept she has a boyfriend, sooner you do that, the sooner you can find someone who likes you.
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    I agree with both above posts
    Getting over someone special can be hard, but you've got to realise that theres someone else potentially just as special around the corner somewhere.
    Good luck!
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    (Original post by snap-crackle-pop)
    I dont really know what I can say that will help you in any way. Your situation does sound difficult Despite it being cliche i suppose the only thing that you can do is to try and move on. Meeting new people would probably help to get your mind off her, and if you dont think she's girlfriend material then it could make it easier to move on.
    Try and concentrate on making an effort to meet new people, just because you felt that you 'clicked' with her doesn't mean you wont 'click' with anyone else! Try and remain positive..to be honest you sound too good for her!
    I know it's like a classic cliche but it doesn't make it easier.

    I'm trying my best to get over her I got a new job in a bar... but I was "let go" which didn't help. And I have resits over the summer but I'm not working on them because I'm not in the right frame of mind and I'm probably going to fail.

    She text me 2 days ago asking when she can come up to see me now we're back home from Uni. I haven't text back because I don't want to see her as I think it would make me feel worse if I did. I think it's best not to see her or text her for weeks. However I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I feel as if I'm going to have to. Out of all the people I went to Uni with she's the only one who I've kept in touch with daily.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it's like a classic cliche but it doesn't make it easier.

    I'm trying my best to get over her I got a new job in a bar... but I was "let go" which didn't help. And I have resits over the summer but I'm not working on them because I'm not in the right frame of mind and I'm probably going to fail.

    She text me 2 days ago asking when she can come up to see me now we're back home from Uni. I haven't text back because I don't want to see her as I think it would make me feel worse if I did. I think it's best not to see her or text her for weeks. However I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I feel as if I'm going to have to. Out of all the people I went to Uni with she's the only one who I've kept in touch with daily.

    Hm..well as someone said above, i supppose time is the only healer.

    Does she know that you still feel this strongly about her? If not, then maybe you should try and explain how you feel..telling her might make you feel better, even if nothing comes of it.
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    *hug*

    you poor thing, its so so hard getting over someone, especially if you never really even *had* her...i know im going through something similar

    but one thing that struck me reading your posts was that your not putting the work into your resits and might fail. NO. in a way getting emerced in work and getting a focus (ie to get to uni next year) is a brilliant distraction from her.

    also you only have one year left after two whole years of uni, dont waste the opportunity to get a degree for the sake of a girl.

    things are difficult now ..and its even easier to feel lonely during summer when you dont have your bubbly uni 'family' around you but yu cant let this affect your whole life.

    in cases like this i honestly think that one of the easiest things to do to ween yourself of somone, is to focus on some other girl...very very hard when all you really want is them, but i find its the best way as you have somoen to occupy your mind apart from them, you feel wanted by someone else and things suddenly dont seem to end at her.

    summer is the perfect time for casual dating so i think you should get out there and look for a girl wanting something similar for over summer.

    xx
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    She has a boyfriend, so was always off-limits mate. Yeah, you developed feelings for her but it just didn't work out, these things happen. You'll find someone else I'm sure
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    just forget about her, sounds like she threw your feelings around a little bit though, meet some new ppl and concentrate on your course
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    (Original post by bone-machine)
    *hug*

    you poor thing, its so so hard getting over someone, especially if you never really even *had* her...i know im going through something similar

    but one thing that struck me reading your posts was that your not putting the work into your resits and might fail. NO. in a way getting emerced in work and getting a focus (ie to get to uni next year) is a brilliant distraction from her.

    also you only have one year left after two whole years of uni, dont waste the opportunity to get a degree for the sake of a girl.

    things are difficult now ..and its even easier to feel lonely during summer when you dont have your bubbly uni 'family' around you but yu cant let this affect your whole life.

    in cases like this i honestly think that one of the easiest things to do to ween yourself of somone, is to focus on some other girl...very very hard when all you really want is them, but i find its the best way as you have somoen to occupy your mind apart from them, you feel wanted by someone else and things suddenly dont seem to end at her.

    summer is the perfect time for casual dating so i think you should get out there and look for a girl wanting something similar for over summer.

    xx
    thanks for reading and your opinion...appreciated
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    i have to say i agree with the rest. unfortunatley youll just have to move on, but just hang on to the thought that theres plenty more out there possibly feeling the same way as you do right now. i experienced something similar to you a few years ago when i was only 13 and that really broke my heart but just remember that time is the best healer. you will eventully get over her.
 
 
 
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