I'm trapped

I feel so trapped at the moment and everyone around me is just so selfish. My friends don't give a ****ing **** about me anymore, they don't bother contacting me, they don't even acknowledge I'm alive. I know why, because I'm ostracizing myself from everyone and everything, but I still feel the need to complain about how my friends don't care. I can't take it, I just want someone to at least pretend they care that I'm alive or not. I'm fed up of my family as well, they're so selfish, my mum all she does is shout at me and make me feel small. When my brother starts an argument with me it's me who gets the blame for it, it's me she shouts at , it's me who she makes cry. She knows I've been diagnosed with depression but she still insists on making me feel ****ter and ****ter everyday.Everyday she moans at me about everything, and says how stuff is so unfair on her, and how bad her life has been. She doesn't realise she is making my life a misery, she never listens to me , she never offers me comfort or support. I'm just a piece of **** to her. Just yesterday she threatened to throw a mug at me, you don't do that to your daughter. She's always so agressive with me and towards others and says she wants **** all to do with any of her brothers and sisters and one of her nieces. I don't blame her, but she's even acting so horrible and aggressive when she talks to me and when I say to her, please Mum just stop talking about it or just stop being so aggressive to me she says " they made me this way". They may of made her life hell but she's now making my life hell as well. I've been crying my eyes out the whole time I've been writing this, I know I sound so pathetic, but I can't take this anymore. She says she should of just left in 1999 when my Dad left her, but why doesn't she just ****ing leave now then eh? And stop ****ing threatening. I'd rather be alone than be tortured all day, every day when I've done nothing wrong. I'm just a typical teenager, I can be lazy but I am good, and I do do stuff for her, and go with her most places when she asks me. I can feel the depression becoming more deeper now in me because of it, and I know she has depression and she is going through a lot atm but I just want to pull my hair out and escape. I just need some advice, I'm sorry about the rant and everything, if the mods feel this isn't worthy of being anon can you just delete the thread instead of revealing my username please :frown:

Reply 1

Spleh

Dealing with depression is incredibly hard, and when your mother is also suffering from depression as well, that just makes it all the worse.

If you want to stay in touch with your friends then make an effort with maybe just one or two of them, perhaps your closest one. Do you have/did you have a best friend to always rely on? They would be a good place to start. Having someone who genuinely cares about you will make you feel miles better.

Is there a relative or a friend you could stay with for a couple of days? It sounds like your family needs serious help.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

You're right to be anon.

My friends are the same, they're not proper friends they're users and I'm ostracising myself from now until uni and then forever. I've got no-one to hang around with until uni and hardly no money either...

I need my Dad to fill in a vital piece of paperwork but he's telling me to "stop mithering him". It's for the student fees and vitally important, he's going to get shouted at if he doesn't do it in the next two days (times running out FFS) and that's off his own back, not me asking him to do it. I wish I lived in a household where I was pushed to do my fees rather than having to ask him to do it.

Some days I feel like running away and starting a new life away from where I am now, I've got three A levels behind me so that's a start. I'd be better off.

Reply 3

hannah_dru

I understand completely how you feel about your friends. I was ostracizing myself before I failed to take my last 2 A2's so I guess that didn't help in the friend area. Now everything is over though, people are making excuses not to see me and they don't seem to give a damn about support.

The only thing that seems to help me is talking to a counsellor and some social workers. They have the knowledge and understand about depression, and I find that they're nice people. I also think it's better to talk to someone who isn't involved in the situation.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

thing is when I go to the doctor I completely can't talk :frown:

I dont know why, it sounds very pathetic I know but it's what happens :frown:

I just kinda butter up the truth, but then I get upset when I don't get help? vicious circle :frown:

I'm always trying to make people's lives easier even the doctors :frown:

It's like my friends are scared to get too involved with me now because of my problems.

Reply 5

hermaphrodite

ive only read the first 4 lines - but you sound like an attention seeker to me

Reply 6

herbal bug

hermaphrodite

ive only read the first 4 lines - but you sound like an attention seeker to me

i wouldnt say that at all- she's opening up to people, even if it us random people on TSR

you should try and talk to someone hun, like hannah dru said, perhaps not involved in the situation.

your mum doesn't sound nice at all (saying the least) my mums the same and i just have to ignore her. i wish i could help (you can PM me i you want) but like above stated you may want to speak to some sort of guidance counsellor or such.

there's not much advice i can give you on escape apart from speaking to someone, yes i get ive said it several times but they may be able to help

PM if you want to talk, okay hun?

dont let them get to you
x

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

hermaphrodite

ive only read the first 4 lines - but you sound like an attention seeker to me