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    My ex didn't think I liked him when we first started dating. I rejected his first few attempts at kissing, and made him wait for the sex despite his advances.

    He said later on that this had really upset him.

    When we started having sex regularly, I never went down on him or touched him down there. I wanted to make sure he was really in to me, as I really don't like doing down on guys.

    He also never made me come, despite efforts.

    One day he spoke to me about it , saying he didn't think I was enjoying the sex and that he found it upsetting. I said I was, and I actually was, I just get nervous during sex with someone I like and don't seem to come.

    He dumped me after just 2 months and it really hurt me. before he dumped me he seemed very caring towards me and never wanted to hurt my feelings, but as soon as he had crossed the barrier and ended things it was as if he enjoyed hurting me.
    M
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    I wouldn't say you hurt his ego,
    He just sounds sexually frustrated.
    But it could just be he dumped you due to something else which you probably didn't realise,
    Or he's a guy who doesn't commit.
    TBH, there could be a lot of reasons more likely to be about him than you.

    Hope you're feeling a bit better now, break ups can be difficult,
    if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. 😊
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    Yes
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex didn't think I liked him when we first started dating. I rejected his first few attempts at kissing, and made him wait for the sex despite his advances.

    He said later on that this had really upset him.

    When we started having sex regularly, I never went down on him or touched him down there. I wanted to make sure he was really in to me, as I really don't like doing down on guys.

    He also never made me come, despite efforts.

    One day he spoke to me about it , saying he didn't think I was enjoying the sex and that he found it upsetting. I said I was, and I actually was, I just get nervous during sex with someone I like and don't seem to come.

    He dumped me after just 2 months and it really hurt me. before he dumped me he seemed very caring towards me and never wanted to hurt my feelings, but as soon as he had crossed the barrier and ended things it was as if he enjoyed hurting me.
    M
    That depends is your boyfriend Kanye West by any chance?
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    I think you two are sexually incompatible and unfortunately that can be a killer for relationships. Nothing to do with egos
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    (Original post by Pinkberry_y)
    I think you two are sexually incompatible and unfortunately that can be a killer for relationships. Nothing to do with egos
    Huh you mean he didn't find me sexually attractive?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Huh you mean he didn't find me sexually attractive?
    No no It has nothing to do with attraction it means things like mismatching sex drives and just generally not being well matched in bed or real chemistry in bed or you're incapable of fulfilling each others sexual needs
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    he probably thought he was a high value person and you didn't make him feel like it so he left you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex didn't think I liked him when we first started dating. I rejected his first few attempts at kissing, and made him wait for the sex despite his advances.

    He said later on that this had really upset him.

    When we started having sex regularly, I never went down on him or touched him down there. I wanted to make sure he was really in to me, as I really don't like doing down on guys.

    He also never made me come, despite efforts.

    One day he spoke to me about it , saying he didn't think I was enjoying the sex and that he found it upsetting. I said I was, and I actually was, I just get nervous during sex with someone I like and don't seem to come.

    He dumped me after just 2 months and it really hurt me. before he dumped me he seemed very caring towards me and never wanted to hurt my feelings, but as soon as he had crossed the barrier and ended things it was as if he enjoyed hurting me.
    M
    Just sounds like poor sex. If you arent enjoying it then he wont.
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    Wait, you often had sex but never touched his peepee?

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex didn't think I liked him when we first started dating. I rejected his first few attempts at kissing, and made him wait for the sex despite his advances.

    He said later on that this had really upset him.

    When we started having sex regularly, I never went down on him or touched him down there. I wanted to make sure he was really in to me, as I really don't like doing down on guys.

    He also never made me come, despite efforts.

    One day he spoke to me about it , saying he didn't think I was enjoying the sex and that he found it upsetting. I said I was, and I actually was, I just get nervous during sex with someone I like and don't seem to come.

    He dumped me after just 2 months and it really hurt me. before he dumped me he seemed very caring towards me and never wanted to hurt my feelings, but as soon as he had crossed the barrier and ended things it was as if he enjoyed hurting me.
    M
    So... to put into perspective:

    1. You rejected physical intimacy from your partner during the initial attempts and made him wait. Naturally he assumed you may not have found him to your liking. You haven't mentioned that you spoke to him about it. Naturally, he eventually talked to you about it and told you that this had really upset him.

    2. Regular sex: You don't like giving oral sex to guys - okay that's fine. But then you also indicate that you withheld oral sex and didn't touch/stimulate him because you wanted to make sure he was really 'in to you'... no mention of speaking to him about this either.

    3. You appear to complain about him not making you reach orgasm despite his efforts. But in point 2., it's not like you bothered to put any effort into the sexual relationship yourself. No mention of speaking to him about this.

    4. Again, naturally he talked to you about his feelings and issues, and felt that you weren't enjoying the sexual part of the relationship - which upset him. You finally speak up and respond by saying that you actually do enjoy it. No mention about whether or not you discussed becoming anxious during sex with someone you like and therefore unable to reach orgasm...

    5. The relationship inevitably breaks down and your partner moves on. During the relationship, your partner was very caring towards you and strived not to hurt your feelings. Apparently moving on and ending the 2 month relationship crossed the barrier and for some reason automatically means that he enjoyed hurting you.

    To conclude, it sounds like you have some deeper underlying issues about yourself which you need to address. Honestly, from what you've written, it's all about you and your own ego rather than your ex-partner being the problem here. It's probably best if you take a break and use this opportunity to sort yourself out instead of blaming others.
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    I will be brutally honest, I'm not trying to be mean, just honest - if I've read the situation wrong, please feel free to disregard what I've said.

    You've never mentioned that you communicated anything to him, but mentioned frequently him opening up to you about his concerns.

    I think, based on the limited information you've provided, he left you because of a lack of communication on your end. Wanting him to wait, having apprehension and anxiety about intimacy are all okay, but do you truly believe you let him understand that? It doesn't sound like it to me.

    Another thing, you mention that he never made you come - immediately after mentioning that you never even touched his penis. This seems very selfish, it's a problem that he can't please you but you're not even willing to touch him? Intimacy is between two people, it's not just his responsibility to work hard for your pleasure. Sex is about working together for mutual pleasure. If you can't even touch his penis, how can you expect him to be able to make you orgasm?
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    (Original post by RobML)
    Wait, you often had sex but never touched his peepee?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I'd like to believe that by "touch" she meant touch with her mouth, i.e. oral. If she actually meant touch with hand then I consider that guy a hero for not dumping her earlier.
 
 
 
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