How can I be more of a "lad" ?

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    Hi! One of my best mates (who recently met my cousin) said to me that my cousin is nothing like me... because he's "a lad" and i'm not.

    My mate said to me "it's probably because your Mum brought you up so you didn't have a male figure in your life".

    My Dad has never really been around since my Mum & Dad divorced when I was 4. My Grandad was more of a Dad/male figure to me but he passed away.

    I'm funny, and people like me. But sometimes I feel like people don't want to go out with me and things because i'm not cool enough or "not a lad".

    You might laugh at this thread but honestly, he made me feel a bit low if i'm honest and I don't want to be seen as boring or not like others.

    What can I start doing?

    thanks
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    That's because 'lads' are usually immature jerks (my opinion only). They are usually the kind of guy who tries to put on this kind of masculinity that comes off fake and agressive/predatory to try and show off to their mates/to girls instead of just being themselves (also my opinion).

    Apart from that, as a girl, I don't really know how to give advice on this, I'd say just be yourself - it's the most attractive thing in a man anyway.
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    Be yourself and dont try to copy anyone. Be confident and act only when there is a need to act otherwise stay quiet. I know its going to be hard but stop thinking about all this, you dont need a man in your life to teach you how to be a man. You are physically born as a man and need no body, just dont become arrogant because a lot of youngsters these days become arrogant and act aggressively to show how strong and dominant they are, which to be honest is hilarious. You just need to become mature.
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    Forget about all that "lad culture", you won't get very far if that not who you are.
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    Please don't become a lad
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    Tattoo "lad" on your forehead.

    But seriously, just be yourself. Never try to be something you're not, you'll just come across as fake
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    (Original post by Rossagle)
    That's because 'lads' are usually immature jerks (my opinion only). They are usually the kind of guy who tries to put on this kind of masculinity that comes off fake and agressive/predatory to try and show off to their mates/to girls instead of just being themselves (also my opinion).

    Apart from that, as a girl, I don't really know how to give advice on this, I'd say just be yourself - it's the most attractive thing in a man anyway.
    (Original post by Warrior Gene)
    Be yourself and dont try to copy anyone. Be confident and act only when there is a need to act otherwise stay quiet. I know its going to be hard but stop thinking about all this, you dont need a man in your life to teach you how to be a man. You are physically born as a man and need no body, just dont become arrogant because a lot of youngsters these days become arrogant and act aggressively to show how strong and dominant they are, which to be honest is hilarious. You just need to become mature.
    (Original post by Desi_Scotsman)
    Forget about all that "lad culture", you won't get very far if that not who you are.
    (Original post by Pinkberry_y)
    Please don't become a lad
    (Original post by Amefish)
    Tattoo "lad" on your forehead.

    But seriously, just be yourself. Never try to be something you're not, you'll just come across as fake
    I enjoy a good laugh and can banter with people. My Auntie always says I have dry humour and I'm witty and stuff.

    I get on well with everyone. I just guess i'm not as confident as some others. If we go out, one of my mates will try and get me to drink as much as possible, but I know when to stop. Like i know when i've had enough for me to be a bit drunk and jokey, but I don't want to be throwing up. Plus like i'll mention girls I like etc, but won't be all like "i'd do xxxxx with her" etc. Just don't think it's really that respectable. I guess it's things like that which don't make me a "lad" ?

    People seem to like me as I am now. I take things to heart though and just worry i'm not good enough or i'm boring i guess
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    the term 'lad' I find is usually synonymous with dickish behaviour, a lack of individuality and ingenuity. You can still be very cool, and very attractive (much more so) by not being a 'lad' or engaging in the ever growing ridiculous lad culture.
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    (Original post by 2scotty)
    I enjoy a good laugh and can banter with people. My Auntie always says I have dry humour and I'm witty and stuff.

    I get on well with everyone. I just guess i'm not as confident as some others. If we go out, one of my mates will try and get me to drink as much as possible, but I know when to stop. Like i know when i've had enough for me to be a bit drunk and jokey, but I don't want to be throwing up. Plus like i'll mention girls I like etc, but won't be all like "i'd do xxxxx with her" etc. Just don't think it's really that respectable. I guess it's things like that which don't make me a "lad" ?

    People seem to like me as I am now. I take things to heart though and just worry i'm not good enough or i'm boring i guess
    1. Stop worrying
    2. Carry on being your well-mannered, respectful self
    3. Carry on making sensible decisions

    Ultimately: carry on being yourself. You seem like you're doing a good job, it's not cool to be disrespectful or stupid. Just do you
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    (Original post by 2scotty)
    Hi! One of my best mates (who recently met my cousin) said to me that my cousin is nothing like me... because he's "a lad" and i'm not.

    My mate said to me "it's probably because your Mum brought you up so you didn't have a male figure in your life".

    My Dad has never really been around since my Mum & Dad divorced when I was 4. My Grandad was more of a Dad/male figure to me but he passed away.

    I'm funny, and people like me. But sometimes I feel like people don't want to go out with me and things because i'm not cool enough or "not a lad".

    You might laugh at this thread but honestly, he made me feel a bit low if i'm honest and I don't want to be seen as boring or not like others.

    What can I start doing?

    thanks
    Well firstly tell your mate "You're having a bubble aren't ya" in a gruff Londoner accent. You'll be a lad in no time.
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    Not care what people (especially girls) say about you.
    Not care if you get rejected. It happens all the time.
    Not b1tch about people.
    No filter on what you say to girls. Say what you want and how you feel bluntly.
    Be in good shape. Start lifting
    No display of romantic emotions..or just emotions in general. Life is joke, life is fun. Everything is just banter. Get hit by a train - banter.
    Nearly all your friends should be male.

    There's more but that's the general idea.
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    Watch football.
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    turn yourself into this guy
    https://youtu.be/zoPvrdwVzdk?t=8s
    hes a lad. that walk though...
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    Talk to different girls and don't give any single one the idea you are with any of them- drive them mad lol
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    It means you act more like a woman than a man if he said that to you. In other words, be more masculine.
 
 
 
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