The Student Room Group

Alone and it's my fault

I don't understand how it's not hit me as hard as it has tonight. Please keep this anon because there are people from my school on here, and they'd probably make it worse for me at school if they saw this.

I'm male and I've pushed everyone out of my life. Any friends I had are now gone. I haven't had a girlfriend for years now, and I've never thought about it as much as I have tonight. I can't even begin to explain how it happened.

The past year I've purposely tried to cut off contact with evil people, but I didn't realise I had with people I thought were my friends too. I've just been very segregated and to myself for the first time. I've kept myself very private from people and today a number of things have happened to make me realise it.

I had one lesson today at 2pm. I got to school at around 2.30 and got sent back straight away because I was wearing a black shirt (apparently we're not allowed black shirts with black blazers :rolleyes:). Anyway, so I went back home and have been bored ever since. And I realised I don't like the way I'm living. It's boring. I'm a fun person but I don't seem to have much fun anymore because I can't find anyone like me. The group of people around me are so different to me, and recently they've stopped acknowledging me. They don't talk to me unless I go upto them, they don't call me to hang around anymore, and I just wonder what is wrong with me.

Anyway, signed in to MSN tonight for the first time in months and I've spoken to one or two people; that's it. One of them (girl from class) told me that one of my mates asked our teacher to write a cause for concern "because he's absent again". Who is he to say that. I was quite shocked because I wouldn't expect him to say that. So because this pissed me off, I opened a convo with my friend who I've known for years and he said something and signed out.

I don't know what to do. I can't trust anyone. No one seems to want to talk to me anymore and it's all my fault. What should I do? I only meant to cut out a bunch of complete tossers, not my friends. I know it was wrong of me, but I didn't know any better and now I'm realising how sneaky these people I was hanging around with everyday are. Any advice?

Reply 1

If thats the way your "friends" are going to act then I'd say your better off without them. I don't know how old you are (since you mentioned school i'll assume your about 16) but the summer holidays are right around the corner, use this as an excuse to go out and make lots of new friends, and if that doesn't work then you can always talk to me :P

x much love x

Reply 2

I'm in sixth form and I thought people had grown out of this tattle-tale behaviour. I really think I'm in the minority in my school, I can't find anyone who's genuinely a good person with good wishes for someone. Everyone seems to be selfish and immature and I'm now left with only a few real friends who I hardly see! Can't wait for uni.

Reply 3

Abit of advice for you here, dont go absence as it sounds like you do it alot :wink: its honestly and please take my word for it not worth it, this is going to sound very boring to you etc but hit the books, get good grades so you have somewhere to go afterwards. I used to avoid lessons etc and skip sixth form and i ended up resiting a year. If you knuckle down now get some decent grades (if your academically minded) and get yourself off to uni if thats what you want to do, you will see that theres a whole new side to education and life etc....
Thats the only advice i can offer tbh, it sounds like the people you refer to as friends are nothing of the sort.
All i can say is dont let yourself get caught up with being abscent etc as you might find yourself stuck when you finish college and believe me when i say this, you might not think it now but if you knuckle down for a yr it will make things a hell of alot easier in the future:smile:
Good luck

Reply 4

I was in precisely the same position in 6th form and things havent changed much now, I would definetly side with "jason" here. When I look back now I think I should have pushed everyone FURTHER away and just thought about myself. If you want advie from someone who has been in the same hole here it is:

1) Phone up a student helpline and get some professional advice, if they cant tell you anything useful it is really important to have someone impartial to talk to if your gonna get out of this emotional state.

2) **** everyone else, its YOUR future do what YOUR gut feeling tells you to do, dont question yourself just do what YOU want and base every decision you make on that.

3) If you try desperately to crawl into these social groups to cure the lonliness then youll get get even more depressed from the rejection and your schoolwork will fail, that is what i did and I MASSIVELY underachieved and i bitterly regret it.

4) The best way to escape this is good grades even if your an average minded sort of fellow (i.e. a B/C grader rather than A every time) thus I would suggest reducing social contact (they are all selfish ****s anyway so your NOT missing out, honestly your not) and pouring every last effort into passing your A-levels/Course/whatever.

5) The benefit of good grades is that universities will compete to get YOU rather than YOU having to compete to get into the university you want, THUS you can choose a Uni with a social atmosphere you like and increase your chances of a happy future.

6) Get a hobby, learn an instrument, play videogames non stop, anything to take your mind off the lonliness you should do this as a reward for studying hard that will put studying in a psychologically positive category of your mind and increase your chances of good grades.

So thats what I think, but bare in mind im very jaded as I made a lot of bad choices and have a lot of regrets. I hope this works out better for you than it did for me.

Reply 5

I was in a similar situation myself this year. I tried to cut out people who I didn't think were being supportive, and a lot of people seemed to turn away. I was left on my own pretty much, and spent my free periods at home, because I couldn't bear to be in sixth form.

I agree with SkinnyPuppyBones- Focusing on your work and grades, as well as taking up hobbies are a great way to distract you from it all. It helped me for a while at least.

How The Student Room is moderated

To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.