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    I've had confidence issues in the past, I'm 17 and I used to be quite fat, small and nerdy looking. Now I've shed off most of the fat, I'm still only 5'7-5'8 and I suppose I still look nerdy even though I'm not. I'm exercising more and I'm much more motivated to be successful and do something with my life.

    I'm always most confident around friends, always cracking jokes, and just feel really good. But when I'm around a girl I'm attracted to, I collapse into a ball and become shy. Case in point, I had a huge crush on a (very confident) girl in high school, still do and ready to do something about it after the summer, and if I was around my friends I'd be able to talk to her and make her laugh and I'd take my confidence from my friends and be able to make girls laugh.
    On the flip side, if I hadn't have got that boost of speaking to friends I'd just be clumsy and a bit tired and not really know what I was saying, turn red, the works. And it would kinda put down those really good quick conversations.

    What I want to know is if there's anyway to just be confident in all situations, especially with attractive girls, and if anyone else has this problem. It's quite long but I wanted to get it down cause it's been bugging me for years.
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    Do you have female friends? When you talk to them do you get all shy? So pretend you're talking to any ordinary friend, doesn't have to be female tbh
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Do you have female friends? When you talk to them do you get all shy? So pretend you're talking to any ordinary friend, doesn't have to be female tbh
    Not anyone I speak to outside of college but if I speak to a girl I'm not attracted to I'm confident, then when it comes to attractive girls I bottle.
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    (Original post by Pizzabomb)
    is there anyway to just be confident in all situations, especially with attractive girls
    1. Establish healthy and sustainable self-worth

    2. Socially immerse yourself and learn to unfilter

    3. Build social skills and experience with women

    #Winning (see links in OP of my related thread, FYR)
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    1. Establish healthy and sustainable self-worth

    2. Socially immerse yourself and learn to unfilter

    3. Build social skills and experience with women

    #Winning (see links in OP of my related thread, FYR)
    Alright cheers mate
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    Care less about what they think. You are yourself. If they don't like that, you move on. There are 'attractive females' in abundance.
    This transition will come with time, I can assure you.

    To speed it up, hit the gym. And evaluate your physical demeanour. First of all, work on your posture. Head up, back straight. You're going to have to fake it at first. When you walk imagine someone is pulling a string from your head like a puppet. You must look ahead at all times.

    When in conversation with a girl, you must maintain eye contact. You must actually listen to what they say and that will keep your mind occupied instead of thinking of what you look like. Also to prevent any awkward encounters, always ask questions. Even if you're not interested of it seems like an obvious question - still ask it. That is the key to any conversation flowing.
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    (Original post by RelucBeam)
    Care less about what they think. You are yourself. If they don't like that, you move on. There are 'attractive females' in abundance.
    This transition will come with time, I can assure you.

    To speed it up, hit the gym. And evaluate your physical demeanour. First of all, work on your posture. Head up, back straight. You're going to have to fake it at first. When you walk imagine someone is pulling a string from your head like a puppet. You must look ahead at all times.

    When in conversation with a girl, you must maintain eye contact. You must actually listen to what they say and that will keep your mind occupied instead of thinking of what you look like. Also to prevent any awkward encounters, always ask questions. Even if you're not interested of it seems like an obvious question - still ask it. That is the key to any conversation flowing.
    I like it, been working on my posture recently. And I always do, eye contact is something I do need to improve on, thanks.
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    I'd say to remove that awkwardness, you have to learn to be nonchalant. (def: relaxed and calm in a way that shows that you do not care or are not worried about anything).

    So in essence, if a girl is pretty, you don't really show that you care (even if you acknowledge she is), if you see everyone as equals then you can just talk to her as normal. Once you appear so comfortable, girls will pick up on that vibe and wont mind being around you. It's just a case of relaxing, don't let yourself get nervous or weird, the instance when you show that awkwardness will kill your chances with any kind of girl, since people typically don't want to be around someone who gives off an awkward vibe.

    Might take some practice, I was pretty awkward in my early teens, then something clicked and I had just stopped making people uncomfortable in my presence and vice versa.
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    (Original post by K-Nitro)
    I'd say to remove that awkwardness, you have to learn to be nonchalant. (def: relaxed and calm in a way that shows that you do not care or are not worried about anything).

    So in essence, if a girl is pretty, you don't really show that you care (even if you acknowledge she is), if you see everyone as equals then you can just talk to her as normal. Once you appear so comfortable, girls will pick up on that vibe and wont mind being around you. It's just a case of relaxing, don't let yourself get nervous or weird, the instance when you show that awkwardness will kill your chances with any kind of girl, since people typically don't want to be around someone who gives off an awkward vibe.

    Might take some practice, I was pretty awkward in my early teens, then something clicked and I had just stopped making people uncomfortable in my presence and vice versa.
    Thanks a lot for the help!
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    (Original post by Pizzabomb)
    I've had confidence issues in the past, I'm 17 and I used to be quite fat, small and nerdy looking. Now I've shed off most of the fat, I'm still only 5'7-5'8 and I suppose I still look nerdy even though I'm not. I'm exercising more and I'm much more motivated to be successful and do something with my life.

    I'm always most confident around friends, always cracking jokes, and just feel really good. But when I'm around a girl I'm attracted to, I collapse into a ball and become shy. Case in point, I had a huge crush on a (very confident) girl in high school, still do and ready to do something about it after the summer, and if I was around my friends I'd be able to talk to her and make her laugh and I'd take my confidence from my friends and be able to make girls laugh.
    On the flip side, if I hadn't have got that boost of speaking to friends I'd just be clumsy and a bit tired and not really know what I was saying, turn red, the works. And it would kinda put down those really good quick conversations.

    What I want to know is if there's anyway to just be confident in all situations, especially with attractive girls, and if anyone else has this problem. It's quite long but I wanted to get it down cause it's been bugging me for years.
    It's important to think of yourself as a highly desirable individual even if others think otherwise or indeed if you have doubts yourself. If you truly want confidence in all situations then you must believe that you can excel in all areas regardless of whether or not its true or how likely it may be. Once you have an image of yourself in your mind it will manifest itself to others as someone who is confident in his/her ability

    Confidence is all a mindset however, there are things that make it easier to think this way like losing weight/going gym etc that can help in strengthening the belief that you are confident.
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    (Original post by Pizzabomb)
    Alright cheers mate
    At your service, TSR :top2:
 
 
 
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