The Student Room Group

Distance / Absence

I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 months now. I am very serious about her and although certain changes are required on each side to spend our lives together we are both slowly acomodating to the change.

Although these 3-4 months may be looked upon as short time, we both are mature enough to know and understand how we both work. Since day 1, we have spent many hours every day talking with each other and getting to know each others personality and ways.

Our Parents do not know yet about us as we are waiting for the right time, which is by December latest to tell them.

Ok the above was kind of a brief background to our relationship.
The issue im having is shes been gone for a holiday for over a week and not contacted me since.
She initially told me it would be hard to contact me as her sim card doesnt work in the country side she is in and she cant use landline as her mum would find out and shes only gained her mums trust back (1 year) since, in her perspective, was off track.

Before she left I asked her to try and make means of communication by one week latest and she hasnt. I saw her brother online and asked about her well being. He said she was fine and she couldnt get in contact as she was tied up with her family and will do as soon as she can. Its been 1 week and 4 days now and still no contact.
Its really getting to me as she said she would have and she hasnt.
I dunno if I am over reacting but she promised she would!

How should I be handleing this situation?
Reply 1
I really can't think of any good advice however i'm in a long distance relationship too so i kinda know how you feel ^^

There probably is a good reason why she hasn't been in contact so i'd say to try not to worry too much, if you over react it will make the situation worse and she may think you don't trust her.

you're probaly missing her tonnes but just hold on and it should be fine
Reply 2
I think that the best thing to do is to take her word for it, that she's having trouble making contact.
I'm sure that when she's back things will be back to normal again.
Anonymous
I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 months now. I am very serious about her and although certain changes are required on each side to spend our lives together we are both slowly acomodating to the change.

Although these 3-4 months may be looked upon as short time, we both are mature enough to know and understand how we both work. Since day 1, we have spent many hours every day talking with each other and getting to know each others personality and ways.

Our Parents do not know yet about us as we are waiting for the right time, which is by December latest to tell them.

Ok the above was kind of a brief background to our relationship.
The issue im having is shes been gone for a holiday for over a week and not contacted me since.
She initially told me it would be hard to contact me as her sim card doesnt work in the country side she is in and she cant use landline as her mum would find out and shes only gained her mums trust back (1 year) since, in her perspective, was off track.

Before she left I asked her to try and make means of communication by one week latest and she hasnt. I saw her brother online and asked about her well being. He said she was fine and she couldnt get in contact as she was tied up with her family and will do as soon as she can. Its been 1 week and 4 days now and still no contact.
Its really getting to me as she said she would have and she hasnt.
I dunno if I am over reacting but she promised she would!

How should I be handleing this situation?


You should stop being paranoid firstly. Let the girl have fun on her holiday. She can't help it if she's tied up with her family and other things. You'd expect that in any relationship let alone an LDR.
Reply 4
There's not too much else to add than what's already been said. Having been in a similar sort of situation the worse thing to do is to over react. You need to trust her and understand that she does have other things on her mind and that she's not forgotten about you.

Don't beat yourself up over it, go out and enjoy yourself and when you finally contact eachother you'll have lots to talk about, long distance relationships can be hard but they can also be wonderful :smile:
I would just leave it and wait till she can contact you, try not to worry as the others said.
Reply 6
:smile: She returned today. Got a text from her early in the morning. I called back but she was boarding the plane (1 hour flight). Since then its been 8 hours and no contact.
Shes been online while I was online. Didnt message me. Has been on facebook and updated her status and stuff but still hasnt messaged me :s

I am just gonna wait until she messages me, its kind of weird though.
Before she went, first thing she would do would be to message me online when she signed on msn.
Just out of charachter if u like :s
Reply 7
Why didn't you message her...?
Reply 8
Kate.
Why didn't you message her...?

Well shes come online after me. Shes just kept quiet. She didnt call, text or nothing. She should be messaging me. If shes been able to go facebook since comming back shes capable to message me, especially after all this time without not 1 bit of commuication, even thought she said she would have.
Maybe she just wants to relax and have a bit of space on her own just for a bit.
Reply 10
Anonymous
Well shes come online after me. Shes just kept quiet. She didnt call, text or nothing. She should be messaging me. If shes been able to go facebook since comming back shes capable to message me, especially after all this time without not 1 bit of commuication, even thought she said she would have.


It goes both ways, you know. For all you know, she was sitting there thinking "Why isn't he talking to me?". Just phone her ffs. See what's going on.