This is NOT puppy love

i have learnt from my boyfriend that his parents like me. which is fair enough. but its been 20 months. everything is fine in fact it is amazing. last night they made a comment - "we need to teach you how to cook so you can entertain young ladies". i was so upset. they don't believe in teen relationships "they never last". before he has brought us tickets to a gig and they have turned round "how do you know your going to last that long". its frustrating. as it is its getting tricky between me and him coz he is going to uni - loads of new girls. i know i love him and he loves me but i cant help thinking - what if. we're both 100% sure we want to make this last but this negativity is getting to me.

how have other people on here dealt with parents thinking and saying its not going to last?

"And they called it puppy love, oh i guess they'll never know, how a young heart really feels and why i love him so. and they called it puppy love, just because we're in our teens, tell them all please tell them it isn't fair to take away my only dream"

Reply 1

BlackHawk

Why does it matter to you what other people think of your relationship? if you think you're 100%, and you're both happy then just get on with it and prove it to them.

The majority of teenage relationships don't make it. I'm sure they are just looking out for you. Remember, they have the wisdom of hindsight.

Reply 2

M'Lady

if your relationship is meant to be then it will survive, with effort on both parts through any strain including university, maybe it will strengthen your relationship to be apart for a while

Reply 3

h82think

BlackHawk

Why does it matter to you what other people think of your relationship? if you think you're 100%, and you're both happy then just get on with it and prove it to them.

No offence, but that is much easier to say than to do. I have been with my bf for 3.5years (since we were 15) and people still do not take us seriously! I have tried not caring about what our parents say but it does hurt when comments are said.

Reply 4

The Bishman

The main reason parents think this, and to be honest people in general about ten relationships, is that at that age people change a hell of a lot in a short time. I mean, I look back at how I was when I was 15/16 (I am now 19), and I'm a completely different person.

Because of this, people grow apart, start to conflict etc and so a reasonable assumption is that it wont last.

I have to wish you luck going to university, some relationships work, some don't, the main reason I know off (happened to myself and others I know in LDR at uni) is jelousy and clingyness/paranoia about cheating etc. Having LDR at university can work, and I have seen people become even closer due to appreciating the time they have together while in this.

Ignore what his parents think, if I dwelled on every little negative thing people said to me about any of my relationships at one time or another, I would have hung myself a long time ago. Just do things how you want to do, **** everyone else. (apologies for lanquage use).

Reply 5

polarbear89

just like h82think i try and not let it get to me but it does hurt. thanks for the help :smile:

Reply 6

hippieglitter

I thought my ex and i were gonna last and we didn't. No matter how much you think it will last and how much you love each other, you can't tell whether or not it will last if it is meant to be it will be if its not then it won't. If he is off to uni despite your love i wouldn't get your hopes up, all the people i know who came to uni in relationship either dropped out to go home and be with their partner or broke up.

Reply 7

Bubblebee

I don't want to sound patronising but they do kind of know what they are talking about, all teenagers think 'this is the one' but in reality it's probably not.
I agree with whoever mentioned how much one changes in a short space of time, last year my younger cousin came crying to me because her Dad had grounded her as she got her boyfriends name tattooed on her belly...'why won't he understand I love him!!' and all that, less than a year later she is trying to have it removed.

If what they say really bothers you then mention it to him, but don't act smug about your relationship because if it doesn't work then there are going to be alot of people watching you fall.

Reply 8

pikaboo

You have to stay open minded. It's no good thinking "oh we're so in love, we'll be the exception, and so-and-so have been together since they were 12 and made it through uni"...because the great majority don't make it, and this increases your chances of being more miserable if it doesn't work out. Call it damage limitation, or superstition, or whatever - but just take each day as it comes for now and enjoy yourselves without getting hung up on how long your relationship will last. You're only young and you should be making the most of the present :smile:

Reply 9

pfwdavid

A couple of years ago I was in the same position as you and got really annoyed whenever people told me it wouldn't last... in the end though, we did just sort of grow apart and become different people - no one's fault, that's just how it ended up.

So while I can sympathise that these comments can be really upsetting and irritating, you've got to remember that the people making them are talking from experience, and even though your circumstance might end up completely different to the norm, there is always the chance of, well, history repeating.

So really there's not that much you can do, except grin and bear it - and, who knows, you might be able to say "I told you so!" ten years down the line! :smile:

(And if worst comes to worst you could probably get an Osmond to sympathise with your cause :wink:

)

Reply 10

pollystyrene07

I can totally understand your frustration and I don't think anyone has got any right to assume that your relationship isn't going to last based purely on your age. I know loads of people who have been together since their teens e.g. my aunty and uncle who are now in their 40s with 2 kids have been together since they were 14. it will work if you make it work.