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What might be the reason for her seeing me as just a friend? Watch

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    there is a girl who i've known for months now, who's become a good friend. The problem is that we talk loads online, but we hardly see each other in person. I've always had feelings for her, have tried numerous times to get over her but haven't been able to.

    The thing is, she says that when she first met me she saw me as boyfriend material, but after a while she realised I was more a good friend.
    That's fine, but the thing is, she also fancies me like crazy. We've slept together a few times but have both agreed we'd never do that again as it wasn't a good idea. But she's always gone on about how insanely hot i am, how I know how to turn her on, how amazing my body is etc. She wanted us to be FWB, but I refused as I wanted more.

    And she's always said I'm such an awesome guy, I'm so kind, funny, etc. but she just didn't see it working with me, and has struggled to move on from her ex anyway.

    She says that's just the way it is. She really wants us to stay friends, she starts a lot of conversations with me and stuff, but I need to move on.
    Has anyone else got any other friends they may see like this? I'm guessing that there's something in my personality I don't have that she wants.
    What might be the reason for only seeing someone as a good friend even if you fancy them?
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    She might just not be interested in a romantic relationship right now, and only interested in sex.
    Or potentially she's worried that a romantic relationship with you would ruin your relationship in a way that a sexual one wouldn't.
    Or, like she said, she just doesn't see a romantic relationship with you working out, for whatever reason.
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    (Original post by stripystockings)
    She might just not be interested in a romantic relationship right now, and only interested in sex.
    Or potentially she's worried that a romantic relationship with you would ruin your relationship in a way that a sexual one wouldn't.
    Or, like she said, she just doesn't see a romantic relationship with you working out, for whatever reason.
    thanks.. yeah it could be that yeah.. she keeps saying she's really not interested in anybody at all, and hasn't gotten over her ex ,but that she's not attracted to anyone apart from me... in any case, we're looking for different things and it's just getting me down so I need to try and move on!
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    She isnt into you enough.
    If the attraction was more than physical or substantial than just a few chats, then she would let you know.
    Part of it might be her, but tbh its her gut instinct that you arent a good deal for her.

    Only she knows and i wouldnt waste my time on trying to find out, you seem to have pished the issue already. Sometimes it cna be timing, but it sounds like more than that.

    Just accpet it and move on to find someone who wants the same as you.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    She isnt into you enough.
    If the attraction was more than physical or substantial than just a few chats, then she would let you know.
    Part of it might be her, but tbh its her gut instinct that you arent a good deal for her.

    Only she knows and i wouldnt waste my time on trying to find out, you seem to have pished the issue already. Sometimes it cna be timing, but it sounds like more than that.

    Just accpet it and move on to find someone who wants the same as you.
    Yeah, I guess that's it. I totally understand, it's just that she keeps hitting on me and I'm getting pissed off with her as a result. So I told her that it's not to happen again under any circumstances if she doesn't see me as more as a friend.

    It's true, I know she must see me as a good friend as we talk all the time, and she always wants to keep the convo going. Sometimes if I don't reply, she'll send me another msg, stuff like that. I think part of it's because she's very loud and outgoing and i'm quite reserved.

    You're right, I've accepted it, I just don't like it when she tries it on. But we've agreed that it's best to not talk for a while until I've been able to move on..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I guess that's it. I totally understand, it's just that she keeps hitting on me and I'm getting pissed off with her as a result. So I told her that it's not to happen again under any circumstances if she doesn't see me as more as a friend.

    It's true, I know she must see me as a good friend as we talk all the time, and she always wants to keep the convo going. Sometimes if I don't reply, she'll send me another msg, stuff like that. I think part of it's because she's very loud and outgoing and i'm quite reserved.

    You're right, I've accepted it, I just don't like it when she tries it on. But we've agreed that it's best to not talk for a while until I've been able to move on..
    Take a time out and distance for a while or complete cut off or messenger only.

    Tell her you wnat different things, which is fine, but you need to move on and if she wants to be friends, then she shouldnt cross the line. Ignore her behaviour or cut yourself off. the importnat thing is to move on rather than be held back by confusion. Its within your control to remove yourself from that situation even if it means cutting her off for 12 months.

    People can send confused and contradictory messages, becayse believe it nor not they are confused or at least arent consistent. She doesnt wnat what you offer, so its best to move on. Things might be different years from now, but move on.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Take a time out and distance for a while or complete cut off or messenger only.

    Tell her you wnat different things, which is fine, but you need to move on and if she wants to be friends, then she shouldnt cross the line. Ignore her behaviour or cut yourself off. the importnat thing is to move on rather than be held back by confusion. Its within your control to remove yourself from that situation even if it means cutting her off for 12 months.

    People can send confused and contradictory messages, becayse believe it nor not they are confused or at least arent consistent. She doesnt wnat what you offer, so its best to move on. Things might be different years from now, but move on.
    You are totally right.. she seems to completely understand which is good, and has apologised. It's true that she does cross the line; harmless comments here and there are one thing, but telling me she wants me in a sexual way is different.

    I hope that in a couple of months or so i'll have completely moved on, I've really had enough, and no contact hasn't worked before but I hope it will this time! Thanks
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    I echo what others have said about the need to move on. But I also have to say that it is wrong of her to keep giving you false hopes by saying things and then having sex with you. She sounds like a user and not a very nice person at all. If she was, she would be conscious of your feelings for her and not try to rub salt into the wound by playing on your feelings. People like this are not very nice people,however much they pretend to be or come across as being. My advice would be to cut all ties with her,as a friend and as anything else too. You deserve better than having someone in your life who happily plays with your emotions .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You are totally right.. she seems to completely understand which is good, and has apologised. It's true that she does cross the line; harmless comments here and there are one thing, but telling me she wants me in a sexual way is different.

    I hope that in a couple of months or so i'll have completely moved on, I've really had enough, and no contact hasn't worked before but I hope it will this time! Thanks
    6 months min and from what you said 12 minths min imo. you dont sound absolute and commited to moving on so cold turkey and absolute cut off is better.

    A couple of months will not be adequate.
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    Thanks for the replies! I'm gonna try my best yeah! Really hope that will be it this time..
 
 
 
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