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    Hi everyone

    i've just finished 2nd year at uni and about to go into 3rd year. I wouldn't say i've been particularly lonely at uni but I never really clicked with my first year flatmates and so I moved into a house with a coursemate and their friends for 2nd year. Ever since i've started uni i haven't felt like I've made a solid group of friends like others have. From the beginning of 2nd year I never really felt like I fitted in with them despite trying my best to really get to know them and we went out regularly during first semester. It quickly became the same conversations whenever they saw me, 'hello' 'how was your day'. What makes it worse is I am quite a quiet/shy person and like my own space. I aren't a typical student in the sense that I am usually studying quite a lot in my room, and will usually have made food and gone to bed by 12pm latest whereas they would like to stay up till the early hours downstairs watching TV. This excluded me from a lot of social activities but at the same time I want to do well at uni, and my course is really demanding with 9ams everyday. I felt like these housemates in particular didn't really accept me for who I was, and didn't appreciate that that was just me, and that it still means I want to have fun other times!

    So now I start 3rd year and am moving back into halls to hopefully meet a solid group of people (3rd time lucky?). I forgot to mention that I get on with coursemates well and go out with them during termtime, but again I feel like these relationships are only temporary and as soon as uni is over, they won't be bothered about me.
    I genuinely think that not making a really good group of friends in first year in halls has really affected my experience of uni when I compare myself to others who are going into 3rd year with the same flat mates they were put together in 1st year.
    Any advice??
    thanks
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    If I were you, I'd go along for the rid and just carry on as usual. Honestly, if they were you "true friend", then they would still want to be in contact w you after the Uni life. People move on. You'll have to learn to accept that. Sorry if I sound harsh. Idk what else to say. feel free to PM me, I could use a friend rn as I'vm not really talking to my other friend now.
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    (Original post by pegzo)
    Hi everyone

    i've just finished 2nd year at uni and about to go into 3rd year. I wouldn't say i've been particularly lonely at uni but I never really clicked with my first year flatmates and so I moved into a house with a coursemate and their friends for 2nd year. Ever since i've started uni i haven't felt like I've made a solid group of friends like others have. From the beginning of 2nd year I never really felt like I fitted in with them despite trying my best to really get to know them and we went out regularly during first semester. It quickly became the same conversations whenever they saw me, 'hello' 'how was your day'. What makes it worse is I am quite a quiet/shy person and like my own space. I aren't a typical student in the sense that I am usually studying quite a lot in my room, and will usually have made food and gone to bed by 12pm latest whereas they would like to stay up till the early hours downstairs watching TV. This excluded me from a lot of social activities but at the same time I want to do well at uni, and my course is really demanding with 9ams everyday. I felt like these housemates in particular didn't really accept me for who I was, and didn't appreciate that that was just me, and that it still means I want to have fun other times!

    So now I start 3rd year and am moving back into halls to hopefully meet a solid group of people (3rd time lucky?). I forgot to mention that I get on with coursemates well and go out with them during termtime, but again I feel like these relationships are only temporary and as soon as uni is over, they won't be bothered about me.
    I genuinely think that not making a really good group of friends in first year in halls has really affected my experience of uni when I compare myself to others who are going into 3rd year with the same flat mates they were put together in 1st year.
    Any advice??
    thanks
    If I were you, I'd go along for the ride and just carry on as usual. Honestly, if they were you "true friend", then they would still want to be in contact w you after the Uni life. People move on. You'll have to learn to accept that. Sorry if I sound harsh. Idk what else to say. feel free to PM me, I could use a friend rn as I'vm not really talking to my other friend now.
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    stop comparing yourself to other people, plenty of people don't make lasting friends at uni and plenty of people make new friendship groups later on

    also, it sounds like you're hung up on people working around your interests when if the majority like doing one thing sometimes you have to compromise and go along with it regularly so you're not left out
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    Use the opportunity of living in halls to make new friends with those around you. As you know, they'll be people looking for new friends too so it's a perfect mix for you to get involved.

    Alternatively, have you looked at any societies you would like to join at your uni? Plenty of people I know have friendship circles comprising entirely of people they met via a society or sports team.
    • TSR Group Staff
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    Like others have said the first key thing is don't compare yourself to others. It can be so damaging, and only creates a constant self analysis which isn't healthy for anyone - even those you may think are popular.
    I made a solid group of friends in my first year - but it was the friends made in my 2nd and 3rd year that are the ones all these years later I am still in contact with. Even then there are only a small handful that i am still good friends with.
    We move through phases of our lives, and we have different experiences and different opportunities at every phase. Sometimes this can be daunting, even frustrating, but as long as you remain who you are, concentrate on the things you do have rather than what you don't you will soon feel happier in yourself and who you are. The right friends and people for you will be out there and you will meet them.

    You need to be comfortable in yourself - everything else fits in around.
 
 
 
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