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i think my boyfriend fancies somebody else and she likes him too Watch

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    i've suspected he was attracted to another girl for some time and i know hes going to find other women attractive thats normal and she is good looking so i just get on with it thats life. but i also think she finds him attractive too by what she says about him and acts, its not just a little attraction its a potential im going to get ditched.

    this girl has a boyfriend too and we all went out together like a double date and got drunk and then they where all over each other laughing, getting on amazingly and touchy feely, i didn't like it and thought i was been a little bit to paranoid about them but then her own boyfriend came up to me and mentioned it which just made everything a whole lot worse, i also found out that my boyfriend had previously tried to get with her before any of us got together with each other but she turned him down because of uni he never told me this and the fact she only said no because of uni seems like she probably did like him but it was a bad time to do anything. now they are both shackled with me and her boyfriend like we're some obstacle in the way.

    this might not seem like a lot but the way they act around each other generally irritates me because it is pretty much just flirting and this event has just pushed me over the edge. i have asked my boyfriend whether he likes her and why he was acting like this towards her and he said he doesn't and that he was just drunk i'm been paranoid but i don't think he'd tell me the truth anyway about it because he wouldn't want to upset me or whatever. all this has resulted in me becoming physically sick i cannot eat properly because all i want to do is throw up, i cant sleep because i wake up having nightmares all i can think about is when hes going to get rid of me for her and i'm trying to act normal around him but im just so scared of getting hurt i really love him we where great together and everything just seems to have changed and the more i let this fear take over the more i'm probably pushing him into her arms anyway. they have so much in common and both are very funny and get along amazingly plus his type of girl is everything she is which i just happen to be the opposite of. i literally do not know what to do with myself i've always had self esteem issues but its never got this bad i've lost a stone in weight trying to self improve to become 'better looking' and i just dont know what to do anymore. if i leave i could be leaving over fear of nothing and if i stay i could just be giving him my all to be chucked aside for a better model when hes ready
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    Leave him, he doesn't respect you.
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    Leave him, he doesn't respect you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i've suspected he was attracted to another girl for some time and i know hes going to find other women attractive thats normal and she is good looking so i just get on with it thats life. but i also think she finds him attractive too by what she says about him and acts, its not just a little attraction its a potential im going to get ditched.

    this girl has a boyfriend too and we all went out together like a double date and got drunk and then they where all over each other laughing, getting on amazingly and touchy feely, i didn't like it and thought i was been a little bit to paranoid about them but then her own boyfriend came up to me and mentioned it which just made everything a whole lot worse, i also found out that my boyfriend had previously tried to get with her before any of us got together with each other but she turned him down because of uni he never told me this and the fact she only said no because of uni seems like she probably did like him but it was a bad time to do anything. now they are both shackled with me and her boyfriend like we're some obstacle in the way.

    this might not seem like a lot but the way they act around each other generally irritates me because it is pretty much just flirting and this event has just pushed me over the edge. i have asked my boyfriend whether he likes her and why he was acting like this towards her and he said he doesn't and that he was just drunk i'm been paranoid but i don't think he'd tell me the truth anyway about it because he wouldn't want to upset me or whatever. all this has resulted in me becoming physically sick i cannot eat properly because all i want to do is throw up, i cant sleep because i wake up having nightmares all i can think about is when hes going to get rid of me for her and i'm trying to act normal around him but im just so scared of getting hurt i really love him we where great together and everything just seems to have changed and the more i let this fear take over the more i'm probably pushing him into her arms anyway. they have so much in common and both are very funny and get along amazingly plus his type of girl is everything she is which i just happen to be the opposite of. i literally do not know what to do with myself i've always had self esteem issues but its never got this bad i've lost a stone in weight trying to self improve to become 'better looking' and i just dont know what to do anymore. if i leave i could be leaving over fear of nothing and if i stay i could just be giving him my all to be chucked aside for a better model when hes ready
    Leave him, he doesn't respect you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i've suspected he was attracted to another girl for some time and i know hes going to find other women attractive thats normal and she is good looking so i just get on with it thats life. but i also think she finds him attractive too by what she says about him and acts, its not just a little attraction its a potential im going to get ditched.

    this girl has a boyfriend too and we all went out together like a double date and got drunk and then they where all over each other laughing, getting on amazingly and touchy feely, i didn't like it and thought i was been a little bit to paranoid about them but then her own boyfriend came up to me and mentioned it which just made everything a whole lot worse, i also found out that my boyfriend had previously tried to get with her before any of us got together with each other but she turned him down because of uni he never told me this and the fact she only said no because of uni seems like she probably did like him but it was a bad time to do anything. now they are both shackled with me and her boyfriend like we're some obstacle in the way.

    this might not seem like a lot but the way they act around each other generally irritates me because it is pretty much just flirting and this event has just pushed me over the edge. i have asked my boyfriend whether he likes her and why he was acting like this towards her and he said he doesn't and that he was just drunk i'm been paranoid but i don't think he'd tell me the truth anyway about it because he wouldn't want to upset me or whatever. all this has resulted in me becoming physically sick i cannot eat properly because all i want to do is throw up, i cant sleep because i wake up having nightmares all i can think about is when hes going to get rid of me for her and i'm trying to act normal around him but im just so scared of getting hurt i really love him we where great together and everything just seems to have changed and the more i let this fear take over the more i'm probably pushing him into her arms anyway. they have so much in common and both are very funny and get along amazingly plus his type of girl is everything she is which i just happen to be the opposite of. i literally do not know what to do with myself i've always had self esteem issues but its never got this bad i've lost a stone in weight trying to self improve to become 'better looking' and i just dont know what to do anymore. if i leave i could be leaving over fear of nothing and if i stay i could just be giving him my all to be chucked aside for a better model when hes ready
    You're jealous and part of me wonders that maybe you do have a right to be.

    I personally wouldn't think too much about him liking her before and asking her out etc because who I liked 3 years ago and who I would go for now, is crazy different.

    I'd say see how things go... how often he speaks to her ,how he treats other girls, how he generally acts when he is drunk, if he flirts with her when you are not around etc.

    If it shows that the attitude towards her is just the norm, then it's whatever.

    If its different, and it's not just the one time on the double date, then it needs to be addressed. Perhaps speak to the boyfriend of the girl, see what he thinks, what he has noticed, because you do need some support to help you through.

    Please try not to let this consume you - think rationally, speak with the other guy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i've suspected he was attracted to another girl for some time and i know hes going to find other women attractive thats normal and she is good looking so i just get on with it thats life. but i also think she finds him attractive too by what she says about him and acts, its not just a little attraction its a potential im going to get ditched.

    this girl has a boyfriend too and we all went out together like a double date and got drunk and then they where all over each other laughing, getting on amazingly and touchy feely, i didn't like it and thought i was been a little bit to paranoid about them but then her own boyfriend came up to me and mentioned it which just made everything a whole lot worse, i also found out that my boyfriend had previously tried to get with her before any of us got together with each other but she turned him down because of uni he never told me this and the fact she only said no because of uni seems like she probably did like him but it was a bad time to do anything. now they are both shackled with me and her boyfriend like we're some obstacle in the way.

    this might not seem like a lot but the way they act around each other generally irritates me because it is pretty much just flirting and this event has just pushed me over the edge. i have asked my boyfriend whether he likes her and why he was acting like this towards her and he said he doesn't and that he was just drunk i'm been paranoid but i don't think he'd tell me the truth anyway about it because he wouldn't want to upset me or whatever. all this has resulted in me becoming physically sick i cannot eat properly because all i want to do is throw up, i cant sleep because i wake up having nightmares all i can think about is when hes going to get rid of me for her and i'm trying to act normal around him but im just so scared of getting hurt i really love him we where great together and everything just seems to have changed and the more i let this fear take over the more i'm probably pushing him into her arms anyway. they have so much in common and both are very funny and get along amazingly plus his type of girl is everything she is which i just happen to be the opposite of. i literally do not know what to do with myself i've always had self esteem issues but its never got this bad i've lost a stone in weight trying to self improve to become 'better looking' and i just dont know what to do anymore. if i leave i could be leaving over fear of nothing and if i stay i could just be giving him my all to be chucked aside for a better model when hes ready
    You're jealous and part of me wonders that maybe you do have a right to be.

    I personally wouldn't think too much about him liking her before and asking her out etc because who I liked 3 years ago and who I would go for now, is crazy different.

    I'd say see how things go... how often he speaks to her ,how he treats other girls, how he generally acts when he is drunk, if he flirts with her when you are not around etc.

    If it shows that the attitude towards her is just the norm, then it's whatever.

    If its different, and it's not just the one time on the double date, then it needs to be addressed. Perhaps speak to the boyfriend of the girl, see what he thinks, what he has noticed, because you do need some support to help you through.

    Please try not to let this consume you - think rationally, speak with the other guy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i've suspected he was attracted to another girl for some time and i know hes going to find other women attractive thats normal and she is good looking so i just get on with it thats life. but i also think she finds him attractive too by what she says about him and acts, its not just a little attraction its a potential im going to get ditched.

    this girl has a boyfriend too and we all went out together like a double date and got drunk and then they where all over each other laughing, getting on amazingly and touchy feely, i didn't like it and thought i was been a little bit to paranoid about them but then her own boyfriend came up to me and mentioned it which just made everything a whole lot worse, i also found out that my boyfriend had previously tried to get with her before any of us got together with each other but she turned him down because of uni he never told me this and the fact she only said no because of uni seems like she probably did like him but it was a bad time to do anything. now they are both shackled with me and her boyfriend like we're some obstacle in the way.

    this might not seem like a lot but the way they act around each other generally irritates me because it is pretty much just flirting and this event has just pushed me over the edge. i have asked my boyfriend whether he likes her and why he was acting like this towards her and he said he doesn't and that he was just drunk i'm been paranoid but i don't think he'd tell me the truth anyway about it because he wouldn't want to upset me or whatever. all this has resulted in me becoming physically sick i cannot eat properly because all i want to do is throw up, i cant sleep because i wake up having nightmares all i can think about is when hes going to get rid of me for her and i'm trying to act normal around him but im just so scared of getting hurt i really love him we where great together and everything just seems to have changed and the more i let this fear take over the more i'm probably pushing him into her arms anyway. they have so much in common and both are very funny and get along amazingly plus his type of girl is everything she is which i just happen to be the opposite of. i literally do not know what to do with myself i've always had self esteem issues but its never got this bad i've lost a stone in weight trying to self improve to become 'better looking' and i just dont know what to do anymore. if i leave i could be leaving over fear of nothing and if i stay i could just be giving him my all to be chucked aside for a better model when hes ready
    You're jealous and part of me wonders that maybe you do have a right to be.

    I personally wouldn't think too much about him liking her before and asking her out etc because who I liked 3 years ago and who I would go for now, is crazy different.

    I'd say see how things go... how often he speaks to her ,how he treats other girls, how he generally acts when he is drunk, if he flirts with her when you are not around etc.

    If it shows that the attitude towards her is just the norm, then it's whatever.

    If its different, and it's not just the one time on the double date, then it needs to be addressed. Perhaps speak to the boyfriend of the girl, see what he thinks, what he has noticed, because you do need some support to help you through.

    Please try not to let this consume you - think rationally, speak with the other guy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i've suspected he was attracted to another girl for some time and i know hes going to find other women attractive thats normal and she is good looking so i just get on with it thats life. but i also think she finds him attractive too by what she says about him and acts, its not just a little attraction its a potential im going to get ditched.

    this girl has a boyfriend too and we all went out together like a double date and got drunk and then they where all over each other laughing, getting on amazingly and touchy feely, i didn't like it and thought i was been a little bit to paranoid about them but then her own boyfriend came up to me and mentioned it which just made everything a whole lot worse, i also found out that my boyfriend had previously tried to get with her before any of us got together with each other but she turned him down because of uni he never told me this and the fact she only said no because of uni seems like she probably did like him but it was a bad time to do anything. now they are both shackled with me and her boyfriend like we're some obstacle in the way.

    this might not seem like a lot but the way they act around each other generally irritates me because it is pretty much just flirting and this event has just pushed me over the edge. i have asked my boyfriend whether he likes her and why he was acting like this towards her and he said he doesn't and that he was just drunk i'm been paranoid but i don't think he'd tell me the truth anyway about it because he wouldn't want to upset me or whatever. all this has resulted in me becoming physically sick i cannot eat properly because all i want to do is throw up, i cant sleep because i wake up having nightmares all i can think about is when hes going to get rid of me for her and i'm trying to act normal around him but im just so scared of getting hurt i really love him we where great together and everything just seems to have changed and the more i let this fear take over the more i'm probably pushing him into her arms anyway. they have so much in common and both are very funny and get along amazingly plus his type of girl is everything she is which i just happen to be the opposite of. i literally do not know what to do with myself i've always had self esteem issues but its never got this bad i've lost a stone in weight trying to self improve to become 'better looking' and i just dont know what to do anymore. if i leave i could be leaving over fear of nothing and if i stay i could just be giving him my all to be chucked aside for a better model when hes ready
    You're jealous and part of me wonders that maybe you do have a right to be.

    I personally wouldn't think too much about him liking her before and asking her out etc because who I liked 3 years ago and who I would go for now, is crazy different.

    I'd say see how things go... how often he speaks to her ,how he treats other girls, how he generally acts when he is drunk, if he flirts with her when you are not around etc.

    If it shows that the attitude towards her is just the norm, then it's whatever.

    If its different, and it's not just the one time on the double date, then it needs to be addressed. Perhaps speak to the boyfriend of the girl, see what he thinks, what he has noticed, because you do need some support to help you through.

    Please try not to let this consume you - think rationally, speak with the other guy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i've suspected he was attracted to another girl for some time and i know hes going to find other women attractive thats normal and she is good looking so i just get on with it thats life. but i also think she finds him attractive too by what she says about him and acts, its not just a little attraction its a potential im going to get ditched.

    this girl has a boyfriend too and we all went out together like a double date and got drunk and then they where all over each other laughing, getting on amazingly and touchy feely, i didn't like it and thought i was been a little bit to paranoid about them but then her own boyfriend came up to me and mentioned it which just made everything a whole lot worse, i also found out that my boyfriend had previously tried to get with her before any of us got together with each other but she turned him down because of uni he never told me this and the fact she only said no because of uni seems like she probably did like him but it was a bad time to do anything. now they are both shackled with me and her boyfriend like we're some obstacle in the way.

    this might not seem like a lot but the way they act around each other generally irritates me because it is pretty much just flirting and this event has just pushed me over the edge. i have asked my boyfriend whether he likes her and why he was acting like this towards her and he said he doesn't and that he was just drunk i'm been paranoid but i don't think he'd tell me the truth anyway about it because he wouldn't want to upset me or whatever. all this has resulted in me becoming physically sick i cannot eat properly because all i want to do is throw up, i cant sleep because i wake up having nightmares all i can think about is when hes going to get rid of me for her and i'm trying to act normal around him but im just so scared of getting hurt i really love him we where great together and everything just seems to have changed and the more i let this fear take over the more i'm probably pushing him into her arms anyway. they have so much in common and both are very funny and get along amazingly plus his type of girl is everything she is which i just happen to be the opposite of. i literally do not know what to do with myself i've always had self esteem issues but its never got this bad i've lost a stone in weight trying to self improve to become 'better looking' and i just dont know what to do anymore. if i leave i could be leaving over fear of nothing and if i stay i could just be giving him my all to be chucked aside for a better model when hes ready
    You're jealous and part of me wonders that maybe you do have a right to be.

    I personally wouldn't think too much about him liking her before and asking her out etc because who I liked 3 years ago and who I would go for now, is crazy different.

    I'd say see how things go... how often he speaks to her ,how he treats other girls, how he generally acts when he is drunk, if he flirts with her when you are not around etc.

    If it shows that the attitude towards her is just the norm, then it's whatever.

    If its different, and it's not just the one time on the double date, then it needs to be addressed. Perhaps speak to the boyfriend of the girl, see what he thinks, what he has noticed, because you do need some support to help you through.

    Please try not to let this consume you - think rationally, speak with the other guy.
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    Firstly, you are a human being, not a car. There is no better model. You must realise that she is no better than you, in any realistic way. You may think she's more beautiful, but beauty is subjective. It saddens me to see you talk about yourself like you're some throwaway piece of junk, just standing in till something better comes along. Listen to this carefully - it is not true. No human is ever better than another, no matter how much people may try to kid themselves otherwise.

    Your boyfriend's relationship with this girl is concerning you deeply, and from what you've written, it's reasonable for you to feel that way. Her bf also felt concerned enough to comment. What I'd suggest you need to do now is to set boundaries. Think of what you can tolerate between this girl and your bf, if anything. It may be that you feel that you cannot tolerate them together at all. Maybe it is the physical affection between them. Whatever you feel is too much for you, is your own personal boundary.

    You can then express to your boyfriend what you want from him e.g. I'm okay with you talking with ___ but I cannot be comfortable with you touching her or flirting with her. Tell him that it has been bothering you and watch for his reaction. If he again accuses you of being paranoid - he doesn't respect your feelings. If he makes no efforts to curb his behaviour, he doesn't respect your feelings. At that point, realising that, I hope you can bring yourself to leave and find someone who cares about you as much as he does himself.

    A relationship is a mutual partnership, so if something is unacceptable to one, the other must take notice. They can then decide whether this person's boundary is worth respecting or they find it intolerable. And if it does not work out, leave. You need to find someone who fits with you, otherwise you'll end up as you are now. You need to communicate with him how you feel and he needs to listen.

    Don't forget also, looks become less important in relationships once you fall for their personality. Don't compare your worth with hers based on looks, there's more to you than just that.
 
 
 
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