The Student Room Group

2 guys...same time...

I'm posting as anonymous as both have accounts at TSR and don't want them to find out about this.

This is going to be a LONG post.

I started dating my current boyfriend about 11 months ago, but we had a history prior to us dating (we dated when we were really young, then we lost touch for a few years and met up again last summer).

I started taking to a new friend last summer as well and our FRIENDSHIP continued throughout the remainder of the year. However, now I have built up feelings for this new friend while still in a commited relationship with my current boyfriend. We talk on the phone, send text messages, exchange e-mails, meet for luch, and hang out constantly.

Even though I love my current boyfriend, whence I compare the two, I see greater advantages in the new friend, but realise that this may be because I have not dated him. Plus, it could also be that I'm viewing my friendship with him through rose-coloured glasses.

The new friend just told me that he'll stick around if I end my relationship with my current boyfriend...

I feel horrible about what I'm doing...but I'm stuck in jam.

Any advice would be welcome...any help at all.
YOu sure you love your boyfriend? when you seem happy to persue this other guy. Seriously I think you know you can't have two at the same time. So obviously you got to make a decision do you stay loyal to your boyfriend, or do you leave him for this other guy, bear in mind your boyfriend will be very hurt.
Reply 2
I know that, but at this moment in time, I really don't know who I'd stay with...
Word of advice:

Think long and hard about it and don't rush in.

I was the friend a year or so back, and instead of a relationship I got a girl out of her relationship and fleeing homewards from uni in a black depression after she realised that she didn't want me after all and couldn't get back with her now-ex. Which made me feel like a prize turd.

So... be absolutely sure about this friend, and for the luvva the gods, don't back out once you've made your choice! :smile:
Well you know what you have to do, you have to choose. There is no alternative unfortunately.
Do you love your boyfriend? Think about what it would be like to hurt him and to lose him? Would this new friend make up for all that?
Reply 5
wouldn't it be awkward if your boyfriend answered your post not know who you are telling you something you don't wanna hear :frown:

I'm confused for you, just make sure you're happy whatever you decide :smile:

take care!
Reply 6
What makes you think the new guy is interested?
Reply 7
Anonymous
I know that, but at this moment in time, I really don't know who I'd stay with...

well the fact you are considering this other guy means you should break up with your boyfriend and thats for him, he doesn't deserve you playing pick and mix with him.
Reply 8
When I read the title I thought this thread would be waaay more fun :tongue:
Reply 9
In all seriousness though, I've been in the same situation. The advice I would give myself if I could go back is this:

Take a break from your boyfriend. Explain to him that you need some time on your own. Be single for a while and be friends with them both until you know for sure what you want. At the moment, no matter what you decide, it'll be emotionally messy as you're too involved in it all. Take a step back and really think about what you want. And then either go back to your boyfriend properly committed or start up a new relationship with no regrets/guilt.
Reply 10
naelse
When I read the title I thought this thread would be waaay more fun :tongue:


Same :biggrin:
Dont split up with your current boyfriend just to go out with your new friend that you think may be possibly more suiting for you. If your going to split up with your boyfriend, it should be reasons that relate strictly to you two! Are you finding your spending more time with your friend than you are your boyfriend?! If so perhaps suggest to your boyfriend that you should spend more time together in ways that you do with your friend at the moment!?.. therefore you may find that you are equally finding yourself enjoying his company! Does your boyfriend know about your friend?!.. perhaps they could both meet with your company!? Whatever you do, don't make a rational decision.
Reply 12
I thought this was going to be a post from a girl being a bit "adventurous" :eek:

OP, it sounds like you're quite comfortable with your current bf. I can only assume (so if you know this isn't the case, don't pay attention) that you're not that close to this bf, in terms of compatibility and personality-wise but he makes a much "safer" boyfriend, the kind of guy you're happy to be seen with and who you know how to interact with.
Trouble is suppose its the old damned if you do and damned if you don't, There was this one case with an old friend at college she had this same problem. But what she did was she dumped this guy who treated her like a princess and went off with this other guy who was to be fair he was good looking and knew how to get the girls. The problem was he turned out to be a jerk who wanted one thing and couple months down the road it was all over. So she tried to get back with her orginal guy but he had moved on and got with another girl. Not saying its the case here but if you was do that and the same problem occured, you would be feeling rather awful. I don't know about you but guess you need to figure out what you really want.