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    Hey

    Just curious on what people think of this and some advice would be great thanks.
    Okay here is the thing, I am a 17 year old girl and have never been in a sexual realtionship. I think this mostly down to fear, due to the fact that thinking about sex between a guy and a girl is somewhat disgusting to my mind ( no offense but if you think of the technecalities of it all... lol:p: ), and I have no experince so obviously everyone gets nervous!
    My friend also mentioned my lack of sex drive, but said that that is probably because I am immature, is this true?
    The fact that I have never had that kind of interaction also makes me worry how would I know what to do, and wouldn't it get boring? Asexual perhaps?
    Secondly, I think that although having a realtionship might be good, but that I don't deserve one, and that I would have nothing to talk about as I am quite odd, and I often get worried that people are bored by me. Yes I know this is rather pathetic, and although my mother has told me to get over myself I find it hard. I have a really low self esteem...
    Because of the low self esteem, I also have a feeling that I may be pretty submissive sexually...
    Last, I am not keen on being touched, and having people near me, the warmth freaks me out, does anyone else have this?
    Okay so basically I was wondering what everyone thought. Is this all totally normal and does anyone have these problems? If so how did you get over them? Because although relationships of all kinds scary me somewhat as I don't really like interaction and find it hard to deal with people,almost all the poeple I know have had some sort of interaction, and they tend to give me the feeling that I am immature...

    Anyway, Really sorry for the long post! Any help would be fantastic!
    thank you!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey

    Just curious on what people think of this and some advice would be great thanks.
    Okay here is the thing, I am a 17 year old girl and have never been in a sexual realtionship. I think this mostly down to fear, due to the fact that thinking about sex between a guy and a girl is somewhat disgusting to my mind ( no offense but if you think of the technecalities of it all... lol:p: ), and I have no experince so obviously everyone gets nervous!
    My friend also mentioned my lack of sex drive, but said that that is probably because I am immature, is this true?
    The fact that I have never had that kind of interaction also makes me worry how would I know what to do, and wouldn't it get boring? Asexual perhaps?
    Secondly, I think that although having a realtionship might be good, but that I don't deserve one, and that I would have nothing to talk about as I am quite odd, and I often get worried that people are bored by me. Yes I know this is rather pathetic, and although my mother has told me to get over myself I find it hard. I have a really low self esteem...
    Because of the low self esteem, I also have a feeling that I may be pretty submissive sexually...
    Last, I am not keen on being touched, and having people near me, the warmth freaks me out, does anyone else have this?
    Okay so basically I was wondering what everyone thought. Is this all totally normal and does anyone have these problems? If so how did you get over them? Because although relationships of all kinds scary me somewhat as I don't really like interaction and find it hard to deal with people,almost all the poeple I know have had some sort of interaction, and they tend to give me the feeling that I am immature...

    Anyway, Really sorry for the long post! Any help would be fantastic!
    thank you!
    Being 17 and having never been in a sexual relationship shouldnt really bother you. There is no rush, infact, you will probably take it more serious and have more respect for it when it does happen, it'll actually mean something. You are wrong in saying that sex is disgusting. If you're going to think like that, then I'm afraid you will have a hard time getting to know someone closer. Sex is an absolutely wonderful thing and should be enjoyed as much and as long as possible! People hit their sexual activeness at different times. Ever hear of those women who turn 30 and suddenly sleep with everyone cus they're so incredibly horny? Yea... so its nothing to do with immaturity (perhaps inexperience yes) but just like hitting puberty comes at different times, hitting sexual interest probably also does.
    Everyone has to start at one point dont they? No one is a sex pro the first time they touch someone, and yes it can be akward and rather funny at times, but if ur serious about it it will come naturally, relax a bit more. If you put SEX on a pedestal it will only make it harder. (im not promoting casual sex with this, but you know what I mean, it only applies more pressure on you).
    Everyone deserves a relationship, the problem is finding who to share it with, and many people **** this up (hence the increasing number of divorces, etc). I find odd interesting. If you think ur odd, then you would have SO MUCH to talk about, wouldnt you? Cus its what makes you different and unique that people care about... otherwise we mite as well clone ourselves and use them as sexdummies.
    Being submissive for sex is no problem, some ppl like being on top, others on the bottom, no one should have a problem with that... unless you are both overly submissive :rolleyes:.
    What it really comes down to, is that a relationship doesnt have to be sexual untill you come around to liking the idea and being ready for it. With this I dont mean wait out and see if he is "the one", but its important for you to feel comfortable and relaxed and have an understanding with that someone if you are so nervous about sex.
    If your still at school, do you have a councellor? or maybe a sex ed person? I know it seems stupid, but they REALLY know what they are talking about and would help you feel so much more comfortable with it all.
    Hope some of this sinks in, and ur not the only person with problems like that, dont worry. (srry for hte long winded answer)
 
 
 
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