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Not getting into uni and my relationship Watch

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    Past few months, my partner has been getting excited about the possibility of me getting into their same uni so that we can be close to each other, as we're currently in a LDR.

    Thing is, now I just got my grades and spoke to my uni's clearance team there's no chance of me getting into the same uni (which i'd like to reiterate was not decided because she was there, I made that decision way before we were together) and after telling them they sounded pretty pissed off/disappointed.

    All that I'm feeling now is an extreme worry/anxiety that things will just go downhill now that I wont be going, that they might go off and find someone in their uni so they dont have to deal with a LDR again.
    What do I do TSR, do I talk to my partner about the situation and express my worries? Do I just keep it all in and hope for the best?
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    You need to talk to each other.
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    Talk obviously. It will put strain on it and communication is the only thing that will help tou cope. Perhaps reapply next year for resits?
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    I agree with the above. Express your concerns and your disappointment at getting in. LDR's can work just fine if you love each other. Just explain how you feel. It isn't your fault If she chooses to find someone else that's her call and she'll do it but as she hasn't you have to learn to just trust her if she says she wants to be with you.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You need to talk to each other.
    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Talk obviously. It will put strain on it and communication is the only thing that will help tou cope. Perhaps reapply next year for resits?
    It seems that talking to them is the best option, I just dont want to anger/frustrate them with my silly worry. I'll give it a go though, thank you both.

    (Original post by PandaCalavera)
    I agree with the above. Express your concerns and your disappointment at getting in. LDR's can work just fine if you love each other. Just explain how you feel. It isn't your fault If she chooses to find someone else that's her call and she'll do it but as she hasn't you have to learn to just trust her if she says she wants to be with you.
    I believe that they do love me a lot, as do I with them. Its just that how they are miles and miles away and like you say they can find someone else so easily and without my knowing. I'll talk to them, hopefully they will understand my disappointment and worries. Thank you ^_^
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You need to talk to each other.
    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Talk obviously. It will put strain on it and communication is the only thing that will help tou cope. Perhaps reapply next year for resits?
    It seems that talking to them is the best option, I just dont want to anger/frustrate them with my silly worry. I'll give it a go though, thank you both.

    (Original post by PandaCalavera)
    I agree with the above. Express your concerns and your disappointment at getting in. LDR's can work just fine if you love each other. Just explain how you feel. It isn't your fault If she chooses to find someone else that's her call and she'll do it but as she hasn't you have to learn to just trust her if she says she wants to be with you.
    I believe that they do love me a lot, as do I with them. Its just that how they are miles and miles away and like you say they can find someone else so easily and without my knowing. I'll talk to them, hopefully they will understand my disappointment and worries. Thank you ^_^
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It seems that talking to them is the best option, I just dont want to anger/frustrate them with my silly worry. I'll give it a go though, thank you both.

    If you cnat talk to your partner then you dotn have a relationship.

    It isnt a silly worry. If you are no longer going when you had planned on it, then its a situation you have to deal with.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If you cnat talk to your partner then you dotn have a relationship.

    It isnt a silly worry. If you are no longer going when you had planned on it, then its a situation you have to deal with.
    We talk about most things, they always express their worries to me about cheating e.t.c, Its this time I knew that the whole 'me getting into uni thing' was a big thing for them, and now I've more or less ruined that I was scared to talk to them. I guess I was fearing what they would say or how they would respond.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We talk about most things, they always express their worries to me about cheating e.t.c, Its this time I knew that the whole 'me getting into uni thing' was a big thing for them, and now I've more or less ruined that I was scared to talk to them. I guess I was fearing what they would say or how they would respond.
    You have to face up to it and deal with the situation Ask her what she think and whether theres any solution. If you put too much strain in ut make her feel guiltyu or be unable to have self control then you could damage what she thinks anyway.

    Figure out what the options are and select the best one together.

    If it were me then id resit and reapply.

    You could ofc broach the subject of taking a break from each other and reviwing it if and when you got the grades.
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    You should only resit and reapply with the reasoning of getting into that university for yourself, not for your relationship. That's my opinion anyway.

    But yeah, as everyone else has said, you need to talk. That's all the advice we can even try to give you until you and your partner have spoken and established each other's views/what is wrong.
 
 
 
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