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Lets stay as friends..... final statement?

When someone says those words to you, does that usually mean that its likely that there will never ever be a relationship between the two of you? Does making a statement like that mean that all feelings have been killed, that its only platanoic rather than romantic?

Some background information...

Basically I went to meet up with someone that I liked and she liked, there was high hopes that something would occur between us. However during the week I was with them, I basically became a shadow under my talkative cousin which basically shows that I am very underdeveloped in terms of character compared to the both of them.

I just want to know whether I should make my heart into a stone in regards to the both of us, we'll still be friends even if its slightly different. Or whether there is the possible chance that I may come back in the future, just that the other person won't be waiting for me anymore in that regard.

Reply 1

dans

12

It tends to be yes, sorry dude.

its over honey.

OP

Thanks, I guess there isin't much point asking her, herself then is there?

Hmm.. think I should just drop the whole matter then, I'm still curious to ask even though the answer probably is its a final statement.

Reply 4

ISH

9

Unless she is different from every other girl, it's a no. But ask if you must.

Reply 5

The Bishman

8

Well if you do ask her, then it could change or end your friendship. Friends is better than nothing eh?

Reply 6

ForeverIsMyName

15

No. It's not over until you get what you want.

Reply 7

cabbage

Yes, for now yes, unless her feelings change in the future.. which 1, is probably unlikely, and 2, if it happens she will tell you, so dont pester her about it.

Reply 8

LennonMcCartney

bishman

Friends is better than nothing eh?

Not really. I imagine the OP has enough friends already.

Reply 9

Jamesb283

To be honest mate, so much of it depends on the situation, are there any reasons for the 'lets stay friends' statements that you could pin point?

Im going to be honest here, if someone says that, its normally because they care about them, but do not fancy them.

Reply 10

Sambola

OP

Yeah, seems like it pretty much over... guess I'll just shift my perspective on her to a sister sort of thing.

The reasoning for lets stay friends, I don't know the exact reasons but its probably to do with the way I behaved around her, knowing myself I'm not really all that surprised... theres still quite alot for me to grow.

Reply 11

silverbolt

19

lets be friends its the consolation prize im afraid

Reply 12

Dagrath

Sambola

Yeah, seems like it pretty much over... guess I'll just shift my perspective on her to a sister sort of thing.

The reasoning for lets stay friends, I don't know the exact reasons but its probably to do with the way I behaved around her, knowing myself I'm not really all that surprised... theres still quite alot for me to grow.

Not to sound like a harsh embittered bastard... but you don't owe this girl anything. Don't feel like you have to engage yourself in some awkward "brother-sister" relationship as you're suggesting. I have loads of friends, if I approach a girl I don't know very well and she rejects with some hollow line like "let's just be friends" then I usually replay with "I have enough thanks" and move on. This is because, as most have already said here, "let's be friends" is usually the kiss of death for any future intimacy with that girl.

Reply 13

ISH

9

Sounds to me like he does want to be her friend. And sorry, you do sound harsh and embittered.

Reply 14

Fire Star

1

she likes you
but not in that way

Reply 15

ladykk

well you said underveloped character..you seem to be aware of this so you can work on it. Work on it and she might worm her way back to you, but leave it for now!

Reply 16

Sambola

OP

Yeah I'll definitely be staying friends as long as the barriers aren't too harsh on me.

This is a friendship of 5 years... I wouldn't throw that all away, I don't want to.

Reply 17

Lateralus

1

More often than not, it is the final statement. You can try again in a few months, but she'll say no again, unless something has drastically changed. Its best to just drop the whole subject, or if that is too difficult then completely avoid communication and contact with said person.

Reply 18

Sambola

OP

Not at all... I'm willing to sustain a friendship, in the end the person and friendship is more important than feelings that I'm sure will sort of relax over time. Its just a matter now whether she will even talk to me after this incident.

I've never really liked the idea that she'll be talking less because of no emotional investment.

Reply 19

PhilMc

16

Yes.

Lets stay as friends..... final statement?

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