Long Ramble About Boyfriend

Known my boyfriend for years but been in a relationship for nearly a year. Now I do speak to him about these issues, but I am starting to think I am just a total whinger.

Background:

Basically, I'm at uni, he has just finished college. I am 100 miles from him during term time. At the moment I am living with him in his house, but have a full time job over the summer, whilst he is doing nothing.

His Dad split with his Mum years and years ago. So he'd not been in contact with him for about 10 years+ (roughly). But about 2/3 years ago, he contacted him, and his Dad is really successful, and owns a computer business.

Now, my boyfriend is going to work with his Dad in September (and he is equally very talented in IT).

Now, the issue I have, deep within me, is that I have always supported my boyfriend, I have brought him things, always did the travelling to see him (and rarely ever him travelling to see me). I have given him so much support throughout college, and now he has great results. What bothers me is that, if his Dad calls him, he runs straight to see him without hesitation. I've never even seen his Dad (because my b/f always declines).

I am just so confused, because although I know he wants to make up lost ground with his Dad, his Dad was an absolute idiot to him when he was younger, was tight, never gave money to his Mum..and now they want to WORK TOGETHER? Also his Dad is HIGHLY manipulative.

My boyfriend has never run to me, he never meets me from work, and when I get back, all he has done is sleep, never tidies up, rarely replies to my texts. But if his Dad calls him, he goes running. It's my day off today, and he's round his Dads. I don't have a problem with him building a relationship with the Dad, but at the same time, I seem to be put in the background when his Dad contacts him.

Also, it's so frustrating as my b/f is really talented, and yet his Dad hasn't even agreed a starting wage/hours of work/whether holidays are paid for, and so on.

Am I being taken for a ride, or am I just paranoid?
If you read the above, it sounds as if my boyfriend isn't even in love with me, yet so many time a day he looks in my eyes and says he loves me more than anything....

I'm just annoyed really...
I mean I work all day, come back and nowhere is tidy or clean, on my days off I have to do the cleaning and ironing, even though I tell him. And I am rather skint at the moment, so we can't go anywhere because he doesnt have money either through NOT pulling his finger out..

Reply 1

Profesh

20

Like father, like son. Everybody 'loves' a doormat.

Et cetera.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Profesh

Like father, like son. Everybody 'loves' a doormat.

Et cetera.

Suggestions?

Reply 3

Jamesb283

Erm, well I think the main thing is, is that his dad has been away for ages, and he is probably trying to make up for lost time, he will also probably be 'novelty' too, whereas you (No offence) have probably been taken for granted, if you have been together a while that tends to happen. My guess is, is that this will be a temporary thing.

Reply 4

seafairy

1

i think that right now he has a big issue about his father and even though your thinking its unfair its understandable that he would put his dad first when he hasnt been in contact with him or had much of a relationship with him in the past.

Does your boyfriend know that your unhappy with amount of effort he is making? talk to him about it calmly, but i dont think you should make it sound like you want him to pay more attention to you than your dad because he might not take that well. But yeah it is fustrating when a boyfriend takes you for granted but hopefully he'll realise this. but maybe right now his mind is on other things.

xx

Reply 5

tbtommyb

11

Well, in fairness, it is his dad. He's had a dad-shaped hole in his life for the last decade. You could well be right in saying that he shouldn't really trust his dad that much, but if you say anything he'll probably defend his dad straight away. Give him a bit of time to get used to it all.

Long Ramble About Boyfriend

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