Losing control of my life

I'm not even sure where to start here...

Basically I'm losing the will to live. And I don't mean in the way that I want to die, but I'm just losing all the motivation I have for anything anymore - even to cook proper meals, or take care of my health!

It's like there's so much in my life to sort out it's just building up on top of me and I can't do any of it.. but when I look at it in a list-type form, there really isn't THAT much I have to do, but for some reason - to me - it seems like a lot.

I need to get my life back in shape 'cos I'm just getting lazier and lazier each day. It's like I WANT to get my life back in shape and do so many things, but I just cant! I lack the willpower and motivation to do so. I even lack the motivation to STOP doing certain things (such as binge eating, which I have started doing TOO much of).

It also seems that I can't be happy anymore. And again, trying not to sound like a desparate cry for help, I mean that I just can't seem to relax and let myself enjoy things. Like I still smile and laugh at things, and can have a good time, but I can't really remember when I was last truly happy with life. Well... I tell a lie.. the last time I was truly happy with life was for a period of 2 weeks just before Easter - it was such a great feeling: I looked good, I walked about with a smile on my face all the time, and I looked for the positive in everything.. Then an acquaintance died - but the thing that (I think) affected me most was because my best friend (a female who was dating said acquaintance) was most affected by this.. she really loved him, and has been devastated ever since. I believe this is possibly one of the main underlying reasons to my unhappiness.

I know not all of this is helpful for any of you to give me advice, but I needed to just get it off my chest.

Is there anyone out there who has any ideas to how I can get in control of my life again, and gain some willpower to WANT to do things? I reckon if I can do at least that, then I can work on the happiness issue.

Thanks in advance.

Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

Write out 'to do' lists. And tick off each task once completed. Thats what I do, because I am a terrible procrastinator. I don't know how to gain will power, so I can't help, but the best thing to do is get organised. Break down tasks into smaller things, set yourself small achievable goals in certain time frames. Think about the short/long term effects that your laziness can have on your life. Whether you're a uni or work or whatever it'll be having an impact somewhere. Spend more time doing stuff you enjoy, hobbies, activities and hang out with friends/family. Be there for that female friend, if you think you can, and if it all gets too much, take to a pro. the last thing you want is to end up like someone like me. You cant put the bakes down before it's too late.

Reply 2

hannah_dru

You're taking the first step by talking about it :smile:

Maybe counselling would be a good idea?

I agree with blackswan to start small. If you prefer lists of things, start with a small amount like one or two things a day.

I don't know if you're doing it already, but excercise and getting out and about could help you get your willpower back by releasing endorphins.

Reply 3

latot

Hey, sorry for the long reply, been busy..

Thanks for your replies, but I can't do the whole list thing.. the things that I need to accomplish are all long-term goals that all intermingle... the list would be an extremely complex spider diagram...

Doing exercise IS one of the things on my list though.. but I just can't seem to stick at it.. again its lack of perseverance etc..

I REALLY want to turn my life around and get my happiness back! I think it all boils down to confidence really... I can never fully enjoy myself - I'm always analysing people and thinking of the worst in situations.. and I want to get into a good training regime to both look and feel better about myself so I can work on my self esteem issues...

I dunno though.. at this point seeing a counsillor seems like a good idea.. thanks for the replies though.

Reply 4

Music_Enthusiast

The hardest part about doing something is taking the first few steps. The important part of sticking to something, such as excercise, is getting into a regular routine.

Reply 5

ic1male

I would probably put exercise at the top of the list - it will help lift your spirits.

I'm feeling the same at the moment though. I just go to work, come home and then slouch about all night and do nothing productive. There are lots of things for me to get sorted before uni but I'm one for always leaving things to the last minute.

Reply 6

Saffie

latot

the things that I need to accomplish are all long-term goals that all intermingle... the list would be an extremely complex spider diagram.

Hmm like what? :wtf?: Do you just mean the old "save for a house" stuff? Surely it's not that complex.

I think the less you do, the less you want to do. Break the cycle. If you can afford to, join a gym. If you've already paid for it you'll be more likely to go. And from that you can develop a routine of going every other evening/morning. Otherwise, buy some weights maybe.

In terms of binge eating, maybe it'd help if you read the nutritional contents of your food. I don't think calories is a good measure really, I usually look at fat content. It stops me eating something that doesn't even taste that nice for the sake of it. It's also an incentive to cook from scratch, because home cooked food doesn't have nutritional labels so it must be good :ninja:

I don't really know what else you need to organise so can't really give (ok, attempt to give) more practical advice.

I think the general feeling of happiness will only arise once you're relaxed about everything: how you look, your work, relationships with others and your future.