The Student Room Group

His parents don't like me

My boyfriend had a go at me last week as his parents said I don't help out when I have gone away with them (a lie) and that I should talk to people (am shy). He upset me even more saying 'no wonder you have no friends' I thought that was a bit harsh this is coming from the guy with 1 friend! The last few times I have seen his mom she has given me dirty looks. My parents say it could be the fact I have only recently (after 2 years) told him my parents have a holiday home so it could be sour grapes. He tends to moan about me not telling him about this - from past experience people have been jealous plus it wasn't my business to tell.

His comments have hurt me and I'm scared his parents are trying to brainwash him, apparantely they drove away the last girlfriend who was a nice girl. I do not want to stay at his anymore if they are going to be unwelcoming, where else can we go? Are they trying to get rid of me? He has an unhealthy appetite of spending the whole weekend with them and going away with them - odd at 23 seens as his sister stays at home and is younger. I only see him for 3 hours a week.
Reply 1
Hey i just wanna say you need to keep strong - but if you choose to end it do not end it because of his parents - its not his fault. but, i have been in that situation before with really snobby parents that didnt trust me at all with their 'baby' because my family lived in a less wealthier area then they did! anyway they were dicks but i made it worse cos me and my boyfriend of that time got into an arguement and i harshly bought his parents into it and ended it......
yep he never answered my calls again but tbh i dont blame him - but i know that i miss him and it definately was not worth arguing over (even tho to this day they make me angry!!) lol, keep strong and meet up away from either households... like strolls in the park etc - will probs be more romantic too.
best of luck
Sounds like they dont want a girl hanging around and 'taking their son away from them', they may feel like their son is growing apart from them all the time he is with his girlfriend.. Yes they are trying to brainwash him,, its a strange thing that some parents do in order to have their son to themselves. I can say this for sure because it is happening with my boyfriends mum too at the moment; and she feels she cant accept me.

Its going to take a long long time but hopefully they will one day build up their trust in you.
Well there was no excuse for him to insult you like that, yes his parents do need to learn to trust you as well but sorry he is well out of order.
That was ahorrible thing for him to say! To be honest I'd question if the relationship is worth continuing with.
Maybe they are testing you, apparently thats what my boyfriends dad is doing. His mum is really nice, but his dad points out and makes fun of all my faults and anything i do wrong. My boyfriend just says to ignore it and in time he'll stop when he notices that it doesn't get to me and i'm strong enough to stick at it to be with my boyfriend. Parents are gonna be a problem in most relatonships, my dad is a nightmare with any boy i bring home. If you think you can and you care about your boyfriend stick it out, if you have to leave.
He was totally out of order in saying. Think you really need to talk to him about why he would say that and if believes what his parents are saying is true, if he doesn't believe you then you do have a problem.
Reply 7
I think your boyfriend was quite out of order – Firstly, he should be able to think independently (not consistently follow what his parents say), and secondly, he shouldn’t have been so rude. Also, why should he care whether your parents have a holiday home? It has absolutely nothing to do with him or his parents.

To be honest, I think you should speak with him. If he’s going to let himself follow whatever his parents say, then I think there’ll be problems with the relationship further down the line, in which case it would be better for you to end it now.


gracie24
but if you choose to end it do not end it because of his parents - its not his fault.

I disagree. If he is allowing his parents to ‘brainwash’ him and what have you, then he is partly to blame. Also, regardless of his parents, he needn’t have said what he did. Does he have no manners?
Reply 8
I think the relationship is coming to an end, this week I will see him Wednesday night for 2 hours which will have been 7 days since I last saw him and then I will see him Friday evening 5pm onwards. He is going to his parents caravan again early Saturday morning, that will be the 3rd weekend I haven't seen him and I am starting to think now he wants rid of me. :frown:
Reply 9
Anonymous
My boyfriend had a go at me last week as his parents said I don't help out when I have gone away with them (a lie) and that I should talk to people (am shy).


:s-smilie: Well that sucks, I'm really shy and have had a bit of a hard time trying to make conversation with my boyfriend's mum and nan (still have to meet his dad yet), and I'd be pretty upset if they didn't seem to like me because of my shyness :frown:
I can understand why you don't want to be with him anymore. The holiday home has nothing to with your relationship. If it bothers him so much he might be with you for materialistic reasons. He may prefer his parents' company over yours (for no fault of your own). He also has no right to talk to you that way. If I was you I would leave.
His parents aren't the ones going out with you.... and he sounds like a right knobhead. I'd just ditch him tbh.
Hes a 23 year old grown man, if he can't think for himself now he never will. He was out of order for what he said to you and by the sounds of it you don't seem to have much of a relationship anymore. Id take not of the warning signs and end it before he gets the chance.
I get along fine with my boyfriends parents and likewise, you will be better off without him and his family. His parents are like the middle man in the relationship and threes a crowd. Your not having a relationship you having one with them and its obviously upsetting you.
Id say get out while you can, dont give his family the satisfaction of 'dumping' you.
If he cared for you he would not let his family come between you both.