Fitting in at sixth form

Does anyone ever feel as though they have a hard time fitting into groups of friends who have come up from the lower school in a sixth form?
When I joined my sixth form, I made quite a lot of friends and seemed to get along with most people. However, I seemed to find it incredibly difficult to socialise with the groups of people who had come up from the lower secondary school. I would make the effort to start conversation and 'fit-in', but it seems that I would get a lot of cold shoulder from the people who already had established groups. I'm great friends with people who have come from outside of the college, but when it comes to people who have been friends for 5 years+ in the secondary school, they just don't seem to make an effort to get to know you.
Everytime I've been out with them, I've felt like the guy on the outside looking in and it's very hard to converse with them because it doesn't seem that many really take onboard what I have to say. With my other friends who were not part of the secondary school, I can happily talk with and have a great laugh which I really just couldn't imagine having with the others. It's really bad, because it feels like there is a barrier that I just cannot get over. Should I just give up trying and concentrate on the people who I have made really good mates with?

Reply 1

Don John

17

I think they just like forming groups, but they don't like allowing "outsiders" in. I think it's just a psychological thing on their part, so there's not much you can do about it I'm afraid :redface:

Reply 2

spark911

Yeah there is not much you can do, fitting into already existing friendship groups is quite hard, like moving schools. Just look at the positive, that you have a group of friends who are in the same position as yourself.

People just stick with people who are like them, so you are all in the same situation (outsiders if you will) but I'm sure you're all feeling it, and it's not just you!

And to look on an even more positive, although slightly depressing, side of things in 2 years time it wont matter as everyone starts over again at uni!

Reply 3

rainbowspiderweb

I had the same kind of thing only im a girl there was like an old group of friends who i just really have anything to say to them any more. In the end i just gave up cos i found that they/i had changed so much we no longer had anything in common as they started hanging around wid different people and talking only about them or something boring that was in a magazine.
Im still friendly to them but cant really hold a conversation which is kinda sad since i was friends wid this one girl since year eight.

Reply 4

coldplasma

OP

16

spark911

Yeah there is not much you can do, fitting into already existing friendship groups is quite hard, like moving schools. Just look at the positive, that you have a group of friends who are in the same position as yourself.

People just stick with people who are like them, so you are all in the same situation (outsiders if you will) but I'm sure you're all feeling it, and it's not just you!

And to look on an even more positive, although slightly depressing, side of things in 2 years time it wont matter as everyone starts over again at uni!

Well I'm starting uni this year, I've just finished my A2 exams. I just feel a bit unsatisfied, but if that's the way things are then I guess there is nothing I can do. All I know is that I tried!

Reply 5

Craver

I think the best thing you can do is not to 'impose' yourself on a certain group of people, but just to be yourself around everyone (MUCH easier said than done, I know) and allow your friends to find you. I was worried about 'fitting in' when I went to college, but I made very good friends with certain people who I then started to hang around with, thereby seeing other people in the group more often and growing closer to them to.

If you just try and cling onto a 'group' without becoming good friends with any of them they're going to be suspicious of you and won't want you to hang around with them.

Enjoy it :smile:

Reply 6

spark911

coldplasma

Well I'm starting uni this year, I've just finished my A2 exams. I just feel a bit unsatisfied, but if that's the way things are then I guess there is nothing I can do. All I know is that I tried!

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't go to sixform but to a college which was pretty much the only choice in the area, and people stayed mostly in groups with people they already knew, I only made say 3 good friends at college although I knew a lot of people and talked to them!

I guess it just happens. I don't know, I did kinda see college as a pointless stepping stone in my life anyway, so wasn't too fussed about making too many new friends at that point!

Don't worry, its no reflection of your ability to make friends, you'll make loads at uni as everyone wants to be each others best friend for ages!

Fitting in at sixth form

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