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    It’s been a while since I last posted on here. I don’t actually know how to start this so I’m going to get straight to the point. (Warning: This is very long...)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    The first half of my summer was pretty awful. Exams had just finished but that uncomfortable feeling that accompanied my stress did not leave. I had several commitments after my exams; my school’s summer production, work experience, a youth board. I managed to keep all of those commitments successfully but I was unable to put my full effort into any of them. To put it briefly, I was very unhappy. I was sick and tired of everything, and I wanted to lie in bed all day. The issues I had at home weren’t helping me to repress this feeling either. I had been feeling like this well before my exams had even started but the feeling was just so much more concentrated in this post-exam period.

    I was self-harming almost every day. My parents noticed and were angry at discovering it. To me, this was the worst possible thing that could happen since they didn’t even try to understand why I was doing this. I became even unhappier as I felt as though the one thing that I had any control over was being taken away from me. I clammed up, and I refused to talk with anyone in my household. My confidence hit an all-time low, and I didn’t feel as though I could open up to anyone. I avoided interacting with anyone apart from my closest friends, and had even decided to skip prom(something that I had previously looked forward to) as a result of that.

    Then came NCS; ‘a British voluntary personal and social development programme for 16- and 17-year-olds in England and Northern Ireland’,which I had signed up to after Christmas. The summer programme that I took part in ran for 4 weeks. I’d be exaggerating if I said that I made friends and was feeling better immediately. The first week consisted of me being wary of all my teammates and having panic attacks in the dorm. I was so anxious being around strangers but at the same time, I really didn’t want to go home. But,thankfully, the situations that the programme put us in allowed me to get used to and appreciate the people around me. Soon, I was meeting more and more people from other teams too and making new friends. I feel as though NCS has allowed me to regain my confidence. (I sound like an NCS commercial. :lol: )

    I don’t actually know why I am posting this. Maybe as a way of explaining my absence here (not sure if it has been noticed though :lol:) or to seize this opportunity to applaud myself on my more positive outlook before Results Day (25th Aug), because I’m not so sure that this optimism will survive through that.:erm: I don’t even know if this will stay up, but,either way, I just felt that it was important for me to write this.

    Sidenote: been having strange dreams about Results Day and also ageing (?). Like, I dream that a really old me (because you know how can just sense things in dreams without even having to see them?) is opening up the envelope (that I sense contains my results), but, the dream always ends before I take the sheet out. It all happens in REAAALLLLYYY slow motion too. :erm: I, being the silly doughnut that I am, have tried to analyse it and find the underlying reasons, and they are pretty obvious: 1) Results Day and 2) My birthday (9th September if you wanna drop a cheeky message )
    Anyway… yeah.
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    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    x
    sounds like a fab summer!All the best for results! :hugs: I'm sure you'll be fine!
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    if its any use at all, I made this thread for u guys to spam on to chill a bit before the 25th:
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=4266052
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    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    It’s been a while since I last posted on here. I don’t actually know how to start this so I’m going to get straight to the point. (Warning: This is very long...)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    The first half of my summer was pretty awful. Exams had just finished but that uncomfortable feeling that accompanied my stress did not leave. I had several commitments after my exams; my school’s summer production, work experience, a youth board. I managed to keep all of those commitments successfully but I was unable to put my full effort into any of them. To put it briefly, I was very unhappy. I was sick and tired of everything, and I wanted to lie in bed all day. The issues I had at home weren’t helping me to repress this feeling either. I had been feeling like this well before my exams had even started but the feeling was just so much more concentrated in this post-exam period.

    I was self-harming almost every day. My parents noticed and were angry at discovering it. To me, this was the worst possible thing that could happen since they didn’t even try to understand why I was doing this. I became even unhappier as I felt as though the one thing that I had any control over was being taken away from me. I clammed up, and I refused to talk with anyone in my household. My confidence hit an all-time low, and I didn’t feel as though I could open up to anyone. I avoided interacting with anyone apart from my closest friends, and had even decided to skip prom(something that I had previously looked forward to) as a result of that.

    Then came NCS; ‘a British voluntary personal and social development programme for 16- and 17-year-olds in England and Northern Ireland’,which I had signed up to after Christmas. The summer programme that I took part in ran for 4 weeks. I’d be exaggerating if I said that I made friends and was feeling better immediately. The first week consisted of me being wary of all my teammates and having panic attacks in the dorm. I was so anxious being around strangers but at the same time, I really didn’t want to go home. But,thankfully, the situations that the programme put us in allowed me to get used to and appreciate the people around me. Soon, I was meeting more and more people from other teams too and making new friends. I feel as though NCS has allowed me to regain my confidence. (I sound like an NCS commercial. :lol: )

    I don’t actually know why I am posting this. Maybe as a way of explaining my absence here (not sure if it has been noticed though :lol:) or to seize this opportunity to applaud myself on my more positive outlook before Results Day (25th Aug), because I’m not so sure that this optimism will survive through that.:erm: I don’t even know if this will stay up, but,either way, I just felt that it was important for me to write this.

    Sidenote: been having strange dreams about Results Day and also ageing (?). Like, I dream that a really old me (because you know how can just sense things in dreams without even having to see them?) is opening up the envelope (that I sense contains my results), but, the dream always ends before I take the sheet out. It all happens in REAAALLLLYYY slow motion too. :erm: I, being the silly doughnut that I am, have tried to analyse it and find the underlying reasons, and they are pretty obvious: 1) Results Day and 2) My birthday (9th September if you wanna drop a cheeky message )
    Anyway… yeah.
    Aww
    I'm so sorry you had to feel that way and go through that :hugs:
    Lots of love and hugs and kisses for my baby sister :lovehug:
    Hopefully things will get better for you and best of luck with results and your A-Level studies up ahead
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    Good luck with results love x
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    I missed you!
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    You're baaaaack :woo:
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    I was going to post this myself but Kyle got here before me: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...6#post67203336

    Thank you so much to everyone who wished me luck and stuck by me :hugs:
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    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    I was going to post this myself but Kyle got here before me: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...6#post67203336

    Thank you so much to everyone who wished me luck and stuck by me :hugs: (Rhythmical iEthan Salamandastron Eternalflames FrenchUnicоrn SpiritSharD CheeseIsVeg SeanFM ravioliyears titfortat CoolCavy SinsNotTragedies upperechelon and ofc KyleH123) :lovehug: X1000
    Amazing results, well done! You are incredibly intelligent. Good to see you back. :hugs:
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    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    I was going to post this myself but Kyle got here before me: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...6#post67203336

    Thank you so much to everyone who wished me luck and stuck by me :hugs: (Rhythmical iEthan Salamandastron Eternalflames FrenchUnicоrn SpiritSharD CheeseIsVeg SeanFM ravioliyears titfortat CoolCavy SinsNotTragedies upperechelon and ofc KyleH123) :lovehug: X1000
    Sorry I haven't seen this before as mentions still do not work :sigh:
    YW chérie , congrats again :woo: :woo: <3 :penguinhug:
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    same as frenchie, didn't see this until now but WOAAAAAAAAAHCONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!! !





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    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    I was going to post this myself but Kyle got here before me: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...6#post67203336

    Thank you so much to everyone who wished me luck and stuck by me :hugs: (Rhythmical iEthan Salamandastron Eternalflames FrenchUnicоrn SpiritSharD CheeseIsVeg SeanFM ravioliyears titfortat CoolCavy SinsNotTragedies upperechelon and ofc KyleH123) :lovehug: X1000
    You're welcome and I'm so proud of you :lovehug:
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    Well done
 
 
 
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