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Moving into halls suffering from anorexia watch

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    Hi, I suffer from anorexia but am moving into halls in September. I am really worried about having to share a kitchen with other students as I have a really bad fear of eating in public, but really want to try and make this work. Does anyone have any advice?
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    Are they self catering halls? People shouldnt be too bothered if you go and eat in your room. It depends on personalities on whether they make a fuss about eating with them or not. Try and balance it up with being sociable and hanging out in communal areas, even if not eating.


    Lot of social life happens in the cafeteria, so maybe you cna manage just a coffee without too much worry?

    Its up to you to tell them about your anorexia. Without wnating to be awkward and shove it in their faces id probably mention it at the beginning casually as people are more receptive at the beginning. It wills stop them feeling awkward or them thinking you are odd or anti social. I think that would be less stressful than trying to hide i too much or them making their minds up and gossiping.

    Perhaps your uni has a society for people with eating disorders, they should at least have some support services.


    I hope you are receeiving treatment and have a support system there. If you dont already use the site


    https://www.b-eat.co.uk/about-eating-disorders
    https://www.b-eat.co.uk/assets/000/0...N_original.pdf
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Are they self catering halls? People shouldnt be too bothered if you go and eat in your room. It depends on personalities on whether they make a fuss about eating with them or not. Try and balance it up with being sociable and hanging out in communal areas, even if not eating.


    Lot of social life happens in the cafeteria, so maybe you cna manage just a coffee without too much worry?

    Its up to you to tell them about your anorexia. Without wnating to be awkward and shove it in their faces id probably mention it at the beginning casually as people are more receptive at the beginning. It wills stop them feeling awkward or them thinking you are odd or anti social. I think that would be less stressful than trying to hide i too much or them making their minds up and gossiping.

    Perhaps your uni has a society for people with eating disorders, they should at least have some support services.


    I hope you are receeiving treatment and have a support system there. If you dont already use the site


    https://www.b-eat.co.uk/about-eating-disorders
    https://www.b-eat.co.uk/assets/000/0...N_original.pdf
    Hey thanks for your advice it was really helpful! Yeah they are self catered which will probably make it alot easier so I can choose when I want to eat but I will try and approach the subject as you said and hopefully that will make it easier. The accomodation service said they may be able to get me a studio with my own kitchen. But i am worried about not making friends if I go for it, what are your thoughts on studio vs shared?
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    Hey, I was recovering from anorexia when I moved into a student house last year. I think it's much better to be around people than live alone- and honestly, no one cared that I preferred to eat alone I chose to tell my friends across the year, and they were good about it, but it would have been easy to keep it discrete. I found the support helpful
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    I'm sure there's lots you can do to help the transition. If you have a fear of eating in public then perhaps planning your meals for less busy times of day could be good (you might want to grab a quiet bite at lunch for instance and take it out for the main canteens and that way you'd be under less pressure to get something later). Could you take breakfast bars or fruit with you to eat on your way in so your not sat around having break in hall? (Apologies if these suggestions are really bad, basically I'm saying that eating during the day might leave you to be more flexible in the evening.)

    I like the person above's suggestion about letting people you'll be spending a lot of time with know. If someone I knew told be they were anorexic then I'd feel touched that they trusted me enough to know and I'd want to not be insensitive
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    (Original post by shootingforgold)
    Hey thanks for your advice it was really helpful! Yeah they are self catered which will probably make it alot easier so I can choose when I want to eat but I will try and approach the subject as you said and hopefully that will make it easier. The accomodation service said they may be able to get me a studio with my own kitchen. But i am worried about not making friends if I go for it, what are your thoughts on studio vs shared?
    I would think some part of your personal growth, especially if you are in recovery would be to get some form of normality. That might be why you need a bit of a plan so you cna deal with it in a controlled manner that balances making progress to still feeling comfy.

    I cant guarantee how sympathetic or nice the people might be in the halls/sc might be , they will be most receptive at the beginning, but some of the might be nice and some might not be, so I think you have to establish yourself early on.

    I dont know where you are in recovery. If not ready take the studio and try to socialise outside. You cna always invite people in and have more control its your choice. The arrangement of not having to share might be limiting, but you can always make extra effort to make friends on your course and through societies.

    Theres no guarantee your best friends will be the ones who you share the kitchen with if you go none studio. Perhaps ask people who have the sc hall experience and make your mind up from that. Keep up with your recovery though .
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    This is all great advice thankyou! All brilliant suggestions so kind of swaying more towards shared now as it will be less isolated just need to wait to see what the uni offers me now x
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    (Original post by shootingforgold)
    Hi, I suffer from anorexia but am moving into halls in September. I am really worried about having to share a kitchen with other students as I have a really bad fear of eating in public, but really want to try and make this work. Does anyone have any advice?
    Get in touch with student welfare and the s.union. They (particularly the former) should be able to put something in place to help you manage your conditions: they have a legal obligation to do so.

    Did you include your relevant medical information through the application process?
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    (Original post by 04MR17)
    Get in touch with student welfare and the s.union. They (particularly the former) should be able to put something in place to help you manage your conditions: they have a legal obligation to do so.

    Did you include your relevant medical information through the application process?
    thats a good idea! I tried to speak to the accommodation people but all they said was they would put studio as a preference but it still wasn't guaranteed.

    I applied through clearing on Thursday so haven't had a chance to get my doctor to write a letter outlining the condition yet.
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    (Original post by shootingforgold)
    Hey thanks for your advice it was really helpful! Yeah they are self catered which will probably make it alot easier so I can choose when I want to eat but I will try and approach the subject as you said and hopefully that will make it easier. The accomodation service said they may be able to get me a studio with my own kitchen. But i am worried about not making friends if I go for it, what are your thoughts on studio vs shared?
    My advice as someone who was in a similar situation (I was technically in recovery when I started uni but early in the process and went through a relapse while in halls):
    - don't live in a studio, it will be incredibly lonely and given any socialising involving calories could be problematic you might struggle even more to find friends if you're not living with people, it will also be very easy to isolate yourself and if you end up in medical danger it will be harder for anyone to notice/help you
    - don't tell people about your eating disorder, some people will want to help and others won't know what to do/want to deal with it and will shut you out... you don't want to be known as the anorexic girl, you want people to get to know YOU first so if you make close friends yeah tell them but don't preemptively tell your whole flat as no one wants to become a carer... even if they want to help they may bug you to eat or do other things which are triggering to you
    - try not to worry too much, people do weird things foodwise in halls ALL THE TIME so it's unlikely to be too noticeable if you don't eat a lot or eat strange things or don't have much in the fridge... it's totally normal to eat in your room, to live solely on pasta and sauce and toast, to eat strange combinations of things etc so just do what you need to do and try not to worry about it
    - try and think if there will be ways you can join in with food related socialising e.g. if people get take out pizza or someone bakes cookies or makes cocktails etc - you can always say you have allergies etc but people might stop inviting you
    - think carefully about whether recovery could be an option, your life would be so much easier and fuller if you could let go of your ED
    - make contact with your university medical center asap so you're being monitored, it's easy for things to deteriorate fast at uni when no one will notice if you don't eat/lose weight so make sure you keep yourself safe
    - think about making contact with your disability center as well as they could help you get deadline extensions/exam provision if you need them at any point
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    (Original post by shootingforgold)
    Hey thanks for your advice it was really helpful! Yeah they are self catered which will probably make it alot easier so I can choose when I want to eat but I will try and approach the subject as you said and hopefully that will make it easier. The accomodation service said they may be able to get me a studio with my own kitchen. But i am worried about not making friends if I go for it, what are your thoughts on studio vs shared?
    My advice as someone who was in a similar situation (I was technically in recovery when I started uni but early in the process and went through a relapse while in halls):
    - don't live in a studio, it will be incredibly lonely and given any socialising involving calories could be problematic you might struggle even more to find friends if you're not living with people, it will also be very easy to isolate yourself and if you end up in medical danger it will be harder for anyone to notice/help you
    - don't tell people about your eating disorder, some people will want to help and others won't know what to do/want to deal with it and will shut you out... you don't want to be known as the anorexic girl, you want people to get to know YOU first so if you make close friends yeah tell them but don't preemptively tell your whole flat as no one wants to become a carer... even if they want to help they may bug you to eat or do other things which are triggering to you
    - try not to worry too much, people do weird things foodwise in halls ALL THE TIME so it's unlikely to be too noticeable if you don't eat a lot or eat strange things or don't have much in the fridge... it's totally normal to eat in your room, to live solely on pasta and sauce and toast, to eat strange combinations of things etc so just do what you need to do and try not to worry about it
    - try and think if there will be ways you can join in with food related socialising e.g. if people get take out pizza or someone bakes cookies or makes cocktails etc - you can always say you have allergies etc but people might stop inviting you
    - think carefully about whether recovery could be an option, your life would be so much easier and fuller if you could let go of your ED
    - make contact with your university medical center asap so you're being monitored, it's easy for things to deteriorate fast at uni when no one will notice if you don't eat/lose weight so make sure you keep yourself safe
    - think about making contact with your disability center as well as they could help you get deadline extensions/exam provision if you need them at any point
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    My advice as someone who was in a similar situation (I was technically in recovery when I started uni but early in the process and went through a relapse while in halls):
    - don't live in a studio, it will be incredibly lonely and given any socialising involving calories could be problematic you might struggle even more to find friends if you're not living with people, it will also be very easy to isolate yourself and if you end up in medical danger it will be harder for anyone to notice/help you
    - don't tell people about your eating disorder, some people will want to help and others won't know what to do/want to deal with it and will shut you out... you don't want to be known as the anorexic girl, you want people to get to know YOU first so if you make close friends yeah tell them but don't preemptively tell your whole flat as no one wants to become a carer... even if they want to help they may bug you to eat or do other things which are triggering to you
    - try not to worry too much, people do weird things foodwise in halls ALL THE TIME so it's unlikely to be too noticeable if you don't eat a lot or eat strange things or don't have much in the fridge... it's totally normal to eat in your room, to live solely on pasta and sauce and toast, to eat strange combinations of things etc so just do what you need to do and try not to worry about it
    - try and think if there will be ways you can join in with food related socialising e.g. if people get take out pizza or someone bakes cookies or makes cocktails etc - you can always say you have allergies etc but people might stop inviting you
    - think carefully about whether recovery could be an option, your life would be so much easier and fuller if you could let go of your ED
    - make contact with your university medical center asap so you're being monitored, it's easy for things to deteriorate fast at uni when no one will notice if you don't eat/lose weight so make sure you keep yourself safe
    - think about making contact with your disability center as well as they could help you get deadline extensions/exam provision if you need them at any point
    these are all really good answers and i agree with them
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    (Original post by shootingforgold)
    thats a good idea! I tried to speak to the accommodation people but all they said was they would put studio as a preference but it still wasn't guaranteed.

    I applied through clearing on Thursday so haven't had a chance to get my doctor to write a letter outlining the condition yet.
    You should really have included it on your UCAS application. Even through clearing, the university you end up at receives your UCAS application. Accommodation department do not really deal with issues like this (more with issues like 'the tap's a bit leaky'). Student Welfare and support services should have experience with other students with anorexia and that should make what ever they put in place, robust enough for your needs. Find the student welfare contact details on the website, send them an E-mail or a letter explaining your situation (include any medical evidence/information you have) and ask what can be done. Give them your phone number as well.

    Please note, if you have any other medical conditions please note them down in that letter as well, because it gives you a more advantageous position in terms of accessing support.
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    My advice as someone who was in a similar situation (I was technically in recovery when I started uni but early in the process and went through a relapse while in halls):
    - don't live in a studio, it will be incredibly lonely and given any socialising involving calories could be problematic you might struggle even more to find friends if you're not living with people, it will also be very easy to isolate yourself and if you end up in medical danger it will be harder for anyone to notice/help you
    - don't tell people about your eating disorder, some people will want to help and others won't know what to do/want to deal with it and will shut you out... you don't want to be known as the anorexic girl, you want people to get to know YOU first so if you make close friends yeah tell them but don't preemptively tell your whole flat as no one wants to become a carer... even if they want to help they may bug you to eat or do other things which are triggering to you
    - try not to worry too much, people do weird things foodwise in halls ALL THE TIME so it's unlikely to be too noticeable if you don't eat a lot or eat strange things or don't have much in the fridge... it's totally normal to eat in your room, to live solely on pasta and sauce and toast, to eat strange combinations of things etc so just do what you need to do and try not to worry about it
    - try and think if there will be ways you can join in with food related socialising e.g. if people get take out pizza or someone bakes cookies or makes cocktails etc - you can always say you have allergies etc but people might stop inviting you
    - think carefully about whether recovery could be an option, your life would be so much easier and fuller if you could let go of your ED
    - make contact with your university medical center asap so you're being monitored, it's easy for things to deteriorate fast at uni when no one will notice if you don't eat/lose weight so make sure you keep yourself safe
    - think about making contact with your disability center as well as they could help you get deadline extensions/exam provision if you need them at any point
    Thankyou so much for your really detailed reply, that has given me a lot to think about. I am seeing my doctor tomorow so will discuss it all with him then and see what he can write to the uni
 
 
 
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