Internet Relationships

This is anon because I'm worried he may be on here and read this...

Basically a couple of weeks ago I just, for only the second time in my life, went on a chat room and met this guy. And we've been talking a lot. Well not very recently as I've been away, but it turns out he lives near me and all these weird other coincidences.....

But I want to meet him. Is this a problem? Have I been duped so badly into believing this guy that I'm leading myself into a foolish trail of paedophilia? Because we've talked about everything... intimacy, relationships, problems, sex... etc etc. And I feel like I know him. Yet he's slightly scared of me I think. I have his number which he took ages to give me, but now I want to meet him and he's a little scared. And all my friends think yeah fine meet him, as long as I take at least one person with me. Yes. Good idea. But what not to him. Apparently he'll be even more scared if I have friends with me, judging him, than if it was just me on my own. But personally I don't want to go on my own....

Yet I'm desperate to meet him. To see if this whole "relationship" as such that we've been having online is at all anything... He finds it a little embarrassing, as if he doesn't like this whole sad internet thing. And I don't know what to do. Any ideas?

Reply 1

technik

13

webcams help in this.

Reply 2

Kate.

15

Does he have Myspace? Generally it's quite easy to tell if Myspace profiles are real or fake. If you've spoken on the phone a lot and seen him on webcam then meet him. I'd still probably arrange a group meeting, or at least in a busy public place.

Reply 3

decoy

Yeah webcam.
If I ever plan on meeting people off the internet that nobody else I know knows then I always check them out on webcam first.
That way you know who it is.

Or failing that, they're usually the type of people I would have come to meet anyway as they goto the same gigs/clubs and things like that as me.

If I was you I'd check out the webcam, and if he says he doesn't have one then tell him in order to meet him that you want to bring a friend.

How old are you by the way?

Reply 4

Cushti

10

Arrange to meet in a public place or cafe where your friends can watch from afar. Have a signal to give to your mates if he seems fine, if not then leg it, or get them to give you a fake emergency phonecall.

Reply 5

wear_a_condom

i hope hes not a 65 year old pedo..

Reply 6

Sambola

Webcam and skype can help identify him, you can tell his age judging his voice and his appearance. Most people on the internet are safe.

If you do decide to meet, you don't exactly have to bring a friend. Just make sure you only spend the first couple of meeting casually like in a park, cafe or something like that. Make sure its during the day as well.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

14

I think if you meet him in the right circumstances its all good: and leaving nearer to each other probably makes it a bit more grounded?
I find it really weird when people date one another over the internet when one lives hundreds of miles away...and yet they claim they are in a relationship?

Reply 8

Sambola

They aren't really in a relationship, but because of the feeling of commiting to each other and waiting for each other they'll define it as that.

always a bad idea.

OP

I've seen him on webcam and his myspace and facebook, and am pretty damn convinced he's who he says he is... I'm 18, he's 21...
If we lived miles apart I'd never consider it, I'm still amazed that one of the only people I chatted to in that room lives only 12 miles or so away from me....in a global chat room.... madness...

Reply 11

decoy

Well if you've seen him on webcam, myspace and facebook you're probably overworrying. Just meet him in a busy place in the daytime. And tell your friends to like text/call you to make sure everything is okay?

Reply 12

.ACS.

19

If you want to meet him, and he agrees, then do so in a public place – ideally a café – and during the day at busy hours. This means that you can have your friends close by keeping an eye on you, or not worry at all since he won’t start something in front of everyone.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

wear_a_condom

i hope hes not a 65 year old pedo..

So do I. My friends have nicknamed him "el pedro"... they think he's a fat mexican.... but then I'm sure they're just joking

Reply 14

Sasuke!

14

hmm coincidence that he lives near you, i would do like a background check i.t facebook etc of myspace. and IF you meet get someone to come along you alwyas heard of these bloody weirdos!
also if he is too eager you shodl be worried!

Reply 15

.ACS.

19

Anonymous

So do I. My friends have nicknamed him "el pedro"... they think he's a fat mexican.... but then I'm sure they're just joking

- Some friends can be so cruel!

Reply 16

Sasuke!

14

more often than no the will be a white balding guy still living with his mother! :P

Reply 17

Ethereal

19

Anonymous

I've seen him on webcam and his myspace and facebook, and am pretty damn convinced he's who he says he is... I'm 18, he's 21...
If we lived miles apart I'd never consider it, I'm still amazed that one of the only people I chatted to in that room lives only 12 miles or so away from me....in a global chat room.... madness...

Then what's with the peado comments you made? You are aware you are quite definitely the wrong side of puberty for a peado to be interested in you?

Reply 18

la fille danse

17

But I want to meet him. Is this a problem? Have I been duped so badly into believing this guy that I'm leading myself into a foolish trail of paedophilia?

If you're a pre-pubescent child, you're too young to be on TSR. Sorry.

Reply 19

ice_cube

17

I met the bestest ever person from TSR who I had been talking to for about 4 months, but had never had definitive proof she was who she said she was. It turned out brilliantly (she wasn't a 50 year old paedophile)... sometimes if someone seems dodgy they probably are, but if you think there's a good chance you will get on, go for it. Its a chance to meet fantastic people.

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