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Your in a relationship, is it wrong to flirt with no intention of doing anything?

Is it wrong to flirt with someone else other than your boyfriend/girlfriend because its fun?
Obviously I wouldn't do it in front of her..
I just find it fun talking with girls and getting to know them properly in pubs or at college etc.. But, all my friends say that I shouldn't be flirting so much since I have a girlfriend.

Thing is, its only words?
And yes, I might flirt, and yes I may be attracted to them but I'd never take it further than that. No way what so ever, even if blind drunk, I wouldn't let it happen.

How far can one go before the flirting is too much and is considered cheating?
What's YOUR opinion.

Thanks

Reply 1

username47781

20

I don't see a problem with talking to other girls, think you cross the boundary when you start groping them and sitting on each others laps.

Reply 2

ajking

1

Well talking with girrls is no problem.But you u shouldnt make sexual jokes with them etc cos i would consider tht kinda cheating if my gf was like tht with a guy.Normal chat and goin to the cinema or something with another girl is ok though in my opinion.But i feel any kinda flirting is wrong when u have a gf/bf

Reply 3

Lady_Darkness

I'm in the early stages of a relationship - not sure if it will go very far at present, what with us being in different cities for the summer and it's a case of "we'll see how things go when we're back at uni". I don't regard myself as young, free and single anymore though.

As far as flirting goes, I'll admit that I have been guilty of flirting with a couple of guys - mainly just banter, and if I get the feeling it's going too far (ie. I'm asked for my number etc) I will back off and use the "sorry, I've got a boyfriend" line.

I think it's a case of boundaries... so long as it's just a bit of banter and good natured flirting that goes no further, and so long as it's not hurting anyone, then there's not much harm in it.

Perhaps if I were in a more serious relationship, I'd feel differently about it and not feel the need for the 'ego boost' that comes with being asked for my number etc. But I'm a person without a whole lot of self confidence... and male attention makes any girl feel good about herself.

Reply 4

The Bishman

8

You see, do the girls you are 'flirting' with see it as flirting?

If os then its bad, then its a two way thing.

Reply 5

parsleythelion

1

Would you be OK if your girlfriend was doing it?

Personally people always think I'm flirting even when I'm not meaning to :s-smilie:

Reply 6

Chumbaniya

17

I guess it's maybe a bit cheeky, both to the girls you're flirting with and your girlfriend, but I wouldn't say it's a big deal. You sound very confident you know where the flirting stops, and if you do then there's no real harm in it. Just try not to lead girls into thinking they've got a chance with you when you haven't.

To and extent it's difficult not to be partly flirty when meeting an attractive new girl, no matter how secure your relationship is.

Reply 7

Jelkin

17

Can't you talk to and get to know girls without flirting with them?

Reply 8

8urtay

do you tell them you have a gf? It might be that you cant help being so flirty simply due to your outgoing nature.

So long as you know the limits, and you let your gf know honestly what has gone on then i see no harm lol

Reply 9

Chumbaniya

17

I guess the only really important question with regard to this is "Does your girlfriend trust you?". If she does, then I can't see any problem.

Reply 10

$Avatar for sTe\/o$

sTe\/o

16

Jelkin

Can't you talk to and get to know girls without flirting with them?

How do you propose?

Reply 11

Dittoo

2

Flirting always leads to more though, in my case anyway.

Reply 12

Dionysus

15

Depends how far it goes - if it's just a bit of fun I don't really see the problem.

Reply 13

abc101

17

If the person you're flirting with would consider it meant something, which they quite probably would, particularly if they didn't know you were attached, then it's not only unfair to your boyfriend or girlfriend but to the person you're flirting with as well, it's leading them on.

Reply 14

Dittoo

2

Yeah, but flirting is usually because of mutual attraction, and inevitably those feeling will deepen over time.

Reply 15

Jelkin

17

sTe\/o

How do you propose?

Just talk to girls as though they are ordinary people? Most of my friends at uni are guys and they don't flirt with every attractive girl they know. I know guys who can't talk to any females without being really obviously flirtatious and they bother me. I know sometimes it's subconscious and all but some people can't seem to drop it.

Reply 16

$Avatar for sTe\/o$

sTe\/o

16

Jelkin

Just talk to girls as though they are ordinary people? Most of my friends at uni are guys and they don't flirt with every attractive girl they know. I know guys who can't talk to any females without being really obviously flirtatious and they bother me. I know sometimes it's subconscious and all but some people can't seem to drop it.

Your guy friends sound weird. No, just kidding.

I think a little bit of flirting when you're in a relationship is fine, athough you need to make it clear that you're taken. It also depends on what your partner thinks, since some may be less liberal about this than others.

Btw, I am capable of holding a normal conversation with a girl. I was only kidding before.

Reply 17

thenaughtyjoker

I've been with my girlfriend now for some time and were at different unis, and i'm sure we will both admit to flirting with other people if we were being honest! In the end of the day, flirting is fine, as long as you make it clear that it is only flirting and that you are taken. Some people may even deem it as healthy and natural to!... it can even help sustain a trusting relationship which isn't over-controlling and fused with insecurity. As a guy and for girls as well, its only instinctive that you will look at others and possibly find them attractive... my girlfriend and I when were out even comment if we saw someone we thought was hot lol! In the end of the day, the main thing is trust.

Reply 18

Viridis

10

I agree with ajking. Thing is, if you flirt with other girls you might have no intention of doing anything but the risk is that you slowly become more attached to them or whatever and wham! before you know it you find yourself cheating. :smile:

Reply 19

eDDeboo

OP

14

Wow I'm surprised with the mixed opinions, which I'm glad about.

And I can have in-depth conversation with girls, and while neither of us would say we're flirting.. But I wouldn't like my girlfriend to talk into the pub and see the both of us sat down in the corner chatting away with a few drinks.

Also, another question..
When does asking a girl (or inviting an invitation) to go for a drink become a date and not just as friends, especially if it doesn't happen often and isn't really the norm.

I guess the fact that I'm only 17 and I know how a lot of other 17 year olds act, I kinda worry that my girlfriend would find it a bit weird, even though she trusts me.. its still weird inviting some other girl out instead of her.

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Your in a relationship, is it wrong to flirt with no intention of doing anything?

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