Hi.
Firstly, let me just say that any advice you are offered on TSR should not be considered definitive - if you are really in such a bad state of depression then I would recommend speaking to friends, family, someone you trust in person - a good unburdening talk can help in so many ways.
In regards to your question about anti-depressants: A couple of years ago, I was hit with a really bad bout of depression. I flunked my exams and just generally couldn't face anything - it was a really black time. So I went to my GP and told her how I was feeling, and she referred me to a 'young people's centre'. This wasn't very helpful - the appointment was weeks away, during which time things got worse. The night before the appointment, in an effort to cheer myself up, I went out with some friends, and got really hammered. I went to the 'interview' with the psychiatrist really hung over and looking bad, and he prescribed me anti-depressants. I was feeling awful, my judgement was clearly not great - I was reluctant, as you are, about the pills - not wanting to be dependent, considering pulling myself out of the mess over time to be the best option, rather than relying on pills. In my weak state, however, I took them.
The next few weeks were a nightmare. The pills somehow made everything so much worse: during the first week it was as though I couldn't trust my own emotions, like I was being brought 'up' into a kind 'high' which was unnatural, and made me become very introspective and, I'll be honest, a little crazy - I started getting paranoid and raved about nonsense - non of which had happened before. So I came off them. It got even worse after that. I just descended, after this artificial high, into the most black, crippling low. I attempted suicide, was almost hospitalised; it was a horrible experience for myself and my family. As a result, I was put on more pills - a ridiculous combination, I later discovered, of diazepam and Prozac - so I was rendered physically weak and incapable of doing the simplest things, while at the same time feeling really hyper and in need of activity. The week or so that I was in this condition remains the worst experience of my life.
After that, I came off the pills, more or less - for about a week on holiday I went back on the 'mild' anti-depressants proscribed on the first occasion, but, again, had a bad reaction and stopped. Things remained bad. The summer ended, I went back to repeat lower sixth in something of a daze, a shell, I thought , of my former self. Eventually, however, through the support of friends, through the routine of getting up and going to school every day rather than sitting at home thinking about it, things improved. I started writing daily events down in a diary, charting the improvement. By the New Year, I had recovered, and I havn't really looked back.
So, for me, the cure was Time. I am convinced that, without taking the pills, things would have eventually improved much faster, and I would not have suffered, and caused my family to suffer, such appalling a nightmare. However, as I said, advice on TSR should not be considered definitive. I know that many, many people have recovered from depression thanks to anti-depressants. For me, the pills simply made things much worse. I would also advise you that all anti-depressants come armed with a fairly hefty list of possible side-effects, which is scary. GPs have been, rightly in my experience, accused of being too quick to prescribe anti-depressants, especially to teenagers and young people, because the NHS simply does not have the resources to meet the needs of people with Mental Health problems. This is a travesty. However that is for another post.
Sorry about the length of this reply! I hope my little tale can help with your decision. Good luck, and if you need any more advice and feel that I could help you in some way, please do not hesitate to PM me.
Ray.