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    Hi everyone,This is my first time posting in this section. My mental health is something I tend to hide in a box at the back of my mind and paint a smile on my face.

    But today, on the brink of tears, I need to get it off my chest.

    I've suffered poor health since I was a child (arthritis, back issues, partially sighted, going blind). Depression has played a massive part in my life, but I can usually find something positive to pull me out of the abyss (usually my children, work, studies).

    I'm due to get married this year, I'm already overweight at a size 16 and 5ft 9 and my plan was to lose weight - as many brides do! But, due to many reasons (poor eating habits, comfort eating, medications) I've only lost a small amount of weight. My wedding is now in less than 2 weeks and I tried on some evening dresses and felt absolutely disgusting. I feel like I've failed myself, my family and my husband to be.

    We have been together 13 years, when he got with me I was a slim 9 stone. Now I'm just under 13. I'm not the person he fell in love with all those years ago. He says he loves me as I am, but does he really? Or is this the little monsters at the back of my head? I feel like going upstairs and crawling under my duvet and shut off the whole world. It's too late to make a huge impact on my weight now even if I was in the right mindset.

    I feel so, so lost.
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    if i fell in love with a girl and she put on weight it would mean literally nothing to me and so im sure your husbands telling the truth, noones harsher on you and yourself so just remember that!
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    (Original post by JNDSAN)
    if i fell in love with a girl and she put on weight it would mean literally nothing to me and so im sure your husbands telling the truth, noones harsher on you and yourself so just remember that!
    I know. He tells me all the right things all the time. But I'll still find a way to twist it. All I'm actually doing is pushing him away further.
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    :hugs:

    I know that feeling. When I originally got with my now wife I had an awesome body. However, thyroid trouble and medication for psychosis has made me put on over 60lbs. I always have this nagging doubt at the back of my mind, like how can she still love me when I'm so different now? But the way I try to see it is: if she put weight on for reasons she couldn't control, then would I still love her? I think the answer is yes, I would because I love her more than just her body. So surely I should give her the same credit and see that she still loves me.

    If this is something that is really bothering you, is there no way you could lose weight? I know it's too late for your wedding (I was huge at mine and I can sympathize with you that it sucks), but maybe start off by going for walks and gradually work on going faster? The NHS has a program called couch to 5k, where you gradually build up your speed until you can run 5km. You could join a gym, go swimming, maybe play a sport. It's difficult to lose weight if you're comfort eating so maybe see a doc about why you're comfort eating?

    Sorry if this is unhelpful.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :hugs:

    Sorry if this is unhelpful.
    It is helpful, thank you. Yeah I lost a couple stone a few years back but then I put it back on again . It's just trying to get in the right frame of mind as I'm a comfort eater .
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    Eat good food.
    Fruit, healthy carbs, nuts, protein, Activia yoghurt or any other, etc.

    Just a suggestion.
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    (Original post by Emizi)
    It is helpful, thank you. Yeah I lost a couple stone a few years back but then I put it back on again . It's just trying to get in the right frame of mind as I'm a comfort eater .
    I don't know if this will help, but my mum keeps a picture of herself in an unflattering dress on the fridge/biscuit containers and she says it really helps her. Another thing she told me about was putting books equal to the weight she's lost in a bag and then being able to pick it up and have like a really clear idea of what you've lost. Then adding books as needed. She says it's really good for motivation.

    Could you perhaps ask your future husband if he'll work out with you? Having another person can help you keep to your exercise schedule, it's much harder to blow things off if you have someone else motivating you.
 
 
 
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