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Struggling with feelings of self-hatred Watch

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    Hi, guys. For the past few years, I’ve really struggled with intense feelings of self-hatred and with my past and it’s definitely past time that I should’ve moved on as I’ll be leaving for university next year.

    During my primary and secondary school years, I was bullied severely by both my teachers (psychological) and peers (psychological and physical) for my ethnic background as I’m half East Asian and speak with a slight accent, and my disabilities. When I finished my GCSEs and moved to a sixth form, things were looking up and I made new friends and felt so happy. However, (this might sound ridiculous because what I went through is nothing compared to what others have been through) I started to have nightmares and flashbacks related to the bullying, though I remember very little of what happened. My family have told me that I was beaten up on a regular basis,classmates tried to strangle me and throw me down flights of stairs etcetera but cannot recall this.

    Since having started at sixth form, I’ve changed a lot as a person. I’ve been told by people around me that I’m a good, kind, caring and empathetic person who always puts others before themselves, but I struggle to believe this. I’ve also forgiven my bullies. However, there are some days where I will feel down, really hate myself and believe that I’m a worthless, selfish and awful person that has achieved very little (right now, I know that this isn’t true). Very few people at my current school know that I was bullied etcetera at my previous schools. Only very little of my friends know of the full extent of the bullying as I find talking about it to be pretty painful.

    I’ve started to accept my ethnic background and my facial features (I still feel self-conscious about them every now and again). I’ve even contemplated speaking in my accent at home in school as I often speak in a different accent that’s more of an English accent outside of home (during secondary school, I decided to speak in a different accent outside of home). Thing is, I want to stop my feelings of self-hatred, start to like myself for who I am and move on, but don’t know how to do this. Please can someone offer advice on how to do this?

    Long story short: I had to cope with severe bullying, want to stop hating myself and putting myself down constantly. How can I stop these feelings of self-hatred, start to like myself for who I am and move on?

    Sorry for the super long post and thanks to anyone who read it. I really appreciate it!
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    Things that you can do to further boost your self-esteem:

    1)Find new hobbies that you really enjoy, practice and practice to get really good at a sport, art, language, etc.

    2) Talk to your friends about it! Even if it's just a few trusted friends, you need to get it out of your system and you need people to back you up, so that you know that what happened wasn't your fault and that you're amazing as you are

    3) See a counsellor, that really did help me. If you're going to uni soon, there are bound to be counselling services. If you're not, your doctor can refer you. It just helps so much to talk t a professional who has dealt with similar cases, and who will be non-judgemental.

    4) Take pride in your appearance. Join a gym and work out regularly, maybe get a new haircut and a few new outfits, whatever works best for you.
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    (Original post by WBZ144)
    Things that you can do to further boost your self-esteem:

    1)Find new hobbies that you really enjoy, practice and practice to get really good at a sport, art, language, etc.

    2) Talk to your friends about it! Even if it's just a few trusted friends, you need to get it out of your system and you need people to back you up, so that you know that what happened wasn't your fault and that you're amazing as you are

    3) See a counsellor, that really did help me. If you're going to uni soon, there are bound to be counselling services. If you're not, your doctor can refer you. It just helps so much to talk t a professional who has dealt with similar cases, and who will be non-judgemental.

    4) Take pride in your appearance. Join a gym and work out regularly, maybe get a new haircut and a few new outfits, whatever works best for you.
    Thanks so much. I feel so much happier after reading your post.

    I really enjoy novel writing and the confidence I have mostly stems from that (but I'm quite shy with showing people my work and talking about it ).

    I know that there is a counsellor at my school who's had to deal with similar cases and is non-judgemental. I'll see if I can receive help from them when I get back to school. I definitely need a new haircut and new clothes! :lol:

    Thanks so much again!

    P.S I would rep you but I have to rep other members' posts first!
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    (Original post by TimidPhoenix)
    Thanks so much. I feel so much happier after reading your post.

    I really enjoy novel writing and the confidence I have mostly stems from that (but I'm quite shy with showing people my work and talking about it ).

    I know that there is a counsellor at my school who's had to deal with similar cases and is non-judgemental. I'll see if I can receive help from them when I get back to school. I definitely need a new haircut and new clothes! :lol:

    Thanks so much again!

    P.S I would rep you but I have to rep other members' posts first!
    Awww I'm glad I could help. Best of luck with everything, I hope that it all starts to look up soon
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    (Original post by WBZ144)
    Awww I'm glad I could help. Best of luck with everything, I hope that it all starts to look up soon
    Thank you!
 
 
 
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