Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I had a best friend who I had major feelings for to the point of obsession.
    He was aware of this and I have been told that he felt the same way about me. We did a back and forth thing where neither of us really knew how the other felt but we both hinted without outright saying anything.
    He also treated me like absolute **** whenever we were around people. When I first asked him out he said he couldn't as he liked someone else (who then turned him down because of how he treated her as a friend), he then took me out on a 'practise date' to see how he would treat a 'future girlfriend' which was a massive blow to me when I reflected on it later. He also sabotaged one of my previous relations by confronting my partner at the time and getting into constant arguments with him which caused our relationship to flop. There's all this and more but it would be too long to list really.
    It came to a point where I fell into a downward spiral of depression because of this so I stopped contacting him directly and tried to keep my distance in order to sever that extreme emotional bond. After 9 months, it worked. Then at around Easter this year he contacted me asking why I had just suddenly stopped talking to him - to which I gave him the reasoning as well as specific examples but he told me then that I had apparently done certain things when in actuality I hadn't and that skewed his perceptions of me.
    I told him that we should talk about it properly during the summer holidays (currently in week 5 of 6) but I just don't know how to go about it. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had a best friend who I had major feelings for to the point of obsession.
    He was aware of this and I have been told that he felt the same way about me. We did a back and forth thing where neither of us really knew how the other felt but we both hinted without outright saying anything.
    He also treated me like absolute **** whenever we were around people. When I first asked him out he said he couldn't as he liked someone else (who then turned him down because of how he treated her as a friend), he then took me out on a 'practise date' to see how he would treat a 'future girlfriend' which was a massive blow to me when I reflected on it later. He also sabotaged one of my previous relations by confronting my partner at the time and getting into constant arguments with him which caused our relationship to flop. There's all this and more but it would be too long to list really.
    It came to a point where I fell into a downward spiral of depression because of this so I stopped contacting him directly and tried to keep my distance in order to sever that extreme emotional bond. After 9 months, it worked. Then at around Easter this year he contacted me asking why I had just suddenly stopped talking to him - to which I gave him the reasoning as well as specific examples but he told me then that I had apparently done certain things when in actuality I hadn't and that skewed his perceptions of me.
    I told him that we should talk about it properly during the summer holidays (currently in week 5 of 6) but I just don't know how to go about it. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
    Seems like an unhealthy relationship and he doesn't seem like such a great guy tbh. People very rarely change so I would suggest you cut all contact and move on if possible. If he is in your class/uni/work environment then just keep it civil and move on - not worth the hassle imo as obsession is always bad.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had a best friend who I had major feelings for to the point of obsession.
    He was aware of this and I have been told that he felt the same way about me. We did a back and forth thing where neither of us really knew how the other felt but we both hinted without outright saying anything.
    He also treated me like absolute **** whenever we were around people. When I first asked him out he said he couldn't as he liked someone else (who then turned him down because of how he treated her as a friend), he then took me out on a 'practise date' to see how he would treat a 'future girlfriend' which was a massive blow to me when I reflected on it later. He also sabotaged one of my previous relations by confronting my partner at the time and getting into constant arguments with him which caused our relationship to flop. There's all this and more but it would be too long to list really.
    It came to a point where I fell into a downward spiral of depression because of this so I stopped contacting him directly and tried to keep my distance in order to sever that extreme emotional bond. After 9 months, it worked. Then at around Easter this year he contacted me asking why I had just suddenly stopped talking to him - to which I gave him the reasoning as well as specific examples but he told me then that I had apparently done certain things when in actuality I hadn't and that skewed his perceptions of me.
    I told him that we should talk about it properly during the summer holidays (currently in week 5 of 6) but I just don't know how to go about it. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
    Don't bother talking about anything to him. He sounds like the kind of person who will come up with an excuse to justify his actions no matter what and will make everyone else the bad guy but himself
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 23, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.