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Seeing my boyfriend after 2months apart..
Well, I'm going to see my boyfriend on tuesday...well I think so.
Basically we have been trying to arrange to meet up but something always come up. Last week, he was drunk and rung me up saying how much he wants to see me blah blah so we spontaneously arranged to meet on the following Thursday. However, I rang him on wednesday to ask what was happening. Apparently worked called up , so we couldn't meet up. This pissed me off so much! Then the next day (Thursday), i saw him online..and i rang him to say 'i thought u were meant to be at work?' and he replied back saying 'yeah i rang in sick cos ive got loads of coursework (retakes for uni) to do' without saying sorry.
Then on friday he stayed up all night to talk to me on the phone during my break at work (1.30am), he started to talk about me coming down to his blah blah. and was quite forward about it saying 'if u don't come down, I'll be upset and may even consider dumping you' So i was ok I promise to come down, I finished work about half 3 am he said to ring him cos he wanted to talk to him, we carried on for another 2hours him talking about tuesday. Today, I rang him..to ask about tuesday and see if its still going to happen. He was out drinking with his mates. So i said 'shall i tell my mum that I'm coming up to urs?' and he went 'yeah tell her and that he will ring me later' He didn't. I rang him at half 10..nothing, then again nothing...I'm not sure if this meeting is going to happen anymore. I dont know what to do! I havent seen him for ages! its all sad!
sorry about the length! I do ramble on! haha
Basically we have been trying to arrange to meet up but something always come up. Last week, he was drunk and rung me up saying how much he wants to see me blah blah so we spontaneously arranged to meet on the following Thursday. However, I rang him on wednesday to ask what was happening. Apparently worked called up , so we couldn't meet up. This pissed me off so much! Then the next day (Thursday), i saw him online..and i rang him to say 'i thought u were meant to be at work?' and he replied back saying 'yeah i rang in sick cos ive got loads of coursework (retakes for uni) to do' without saying sorry.
Then on friday he stayed up all night to talk to me on the phone during my break at work (1.30am), he started to talk about me coming down to his blah blah. and was quite forward about it saying 'if u don't come down, I'll be upset and may even consider dumping you' So i was ok I promise to come down, I finished work about half 3 am he said to ring him cos he wanted to talk to him, we carried on for another 2hours him talking about tuesday. Today, I rang him..to ask about tuesday and see if its still going to happen. He was out drinking with his mates. So i said 'shall i tell my mum that I'm coming up to urs?' and he went 'yeah tell her and that he will ring me later' He didn't. I rang him at half 10..nothing, then again nothing...I'm not sure if this meeting is going to happen anymore. I dont know what to do! I havent seen him for ages! its all sad!
sorry about the length! I do ramble on! hahaReply 1
That sucks, it doesn't seem like he is bothered at all.
How far apart do you live? Why don't you just travel up on tuesday and knock on his door?
IMO, he either wants to see you but is too lazy to arrange anything, or he just isn't bothered with your relationship.
Ring him up and tell him how excited you are, and how much you are looking forward to seeing him? See what he says to that..
How far apart do you live? Why don't you just travel up on tuesday and knock on his door?
IMO, he either wants to see you but is too lazy to arrange anything, or he just isn't bothered with your relationship.
Ring him up and tell him how excited you are, and how much you are looking forward to seeing him? See what he says to that..
Reply 2
Why do you bother? No seriously why? I've read so many forums today and it seems that its always the girls making an effort.. Just forget about him!! And next time he wants to meet u skank him, i.e. don't go!! Show him that u can move on and that ur not a fool.. If he was being genuine then he would have met u, he is getting satisfaction that you want to meet him so bad. Go out with your friends and have a good time rather than wasting time with this tosser!!
Reply 3
If he is not willing to make a bit of an effort just to see you after all this time then he is not worth bothering with, I would forget him and find someone who is willing to make an effort.
Reply 4
He sounds like, he doesnt want to see you,
he just wants you to play along,
i think you should tell him that you really want to see him as you havnt seen him in a long time.
he just wants you to play along,
i think you should tell him that you really want to see him as you havnt seen him in a long time.
Reply 5
Girl
In a nut shell I feel that this guy is playing a few mind games with you. From what you've said you have been making a big effort to hook up with him especially as you have spent so much time apart and he does not seem bothered.
I believe he knows how keen you are on him and that u care a lot and you've proved in a way that even though he acts like a right selfish plonka you will still stick around. For example by goin out with his mates, making the excuse about work and then saying he rang in sick is really not acceptable in my opinion and if he was my man i would be really peed off!
Many ppl would have dumped him after what u have said but you're still there.
My advice (And Im not saying this won't be a hard thing to do because I think it will be for you as you obviously care for him) is to make one final effort to meet up with him. If it does happen i think you should calmly outline the facts i.e. how his behaviour has upset you & ask why is he behaving in this way? Because lets face facts a loving relationship is not what you are having atm. If you both fail to meet up due to another "unforeseen circumstance" then I am afraid you will have to play him at his own game. Start distancing yourself 4rm him and 2 help you take your mind off him, get the support of your gfs, find some new hobbies etc to take your mind off him. Either he will come to his senses and realise how much he is missing you and that your are not at his beck and he will call & make a true effort OR things will just naturally come to an end. It WILL be hard 4 you but if you do finish with him afterwards you will look back and realise you will happier by doing this than staying miserable while he has a great time stringing you along and partying with his mates. Also at least you can look back and say you did everything within your power to make it work and that being in a relationship isnt being in a one man band! It is a 2 way partnership! Your are still young, attractive and even though its a slight cliche now, you will find another person who will be more worthy fo your love and affection if this doesnt work out.
Good Luck
P.S Sorry for talking so much lol
In a nut shell I feel that this guy is playing a few mind games with you. From what you've said you have been making a big effort to hook up with him especially as you have spent so much time apart and he does not seem bothered.
I believe he knows how keen you are on him and that u care a lot and you've proved in a way that even though he acts like a right selfish plonka you will still stick around. For example by goin out with his mates, making the excuse about work and then saying he rang in sick is really not acceptable in my opinion and if he was my man i would be really peed off!
Many ppl would have dumped him after what u have said but you're still there.
My advice (And Im not saying this won't be a hard thing to do because I think it will be for you as you obviously care for him) is to make one final effort to meet up with him. If it does happen i think you should calmly outline the facts i.e. how his behaviour has upset you & ask why is he behaving in this way? Because lets face facts a loving relationship is not what you are having atm. If you both fail to meet up due to another "unforeseen circumstance" then I am afraid you will have to play him at his own game. Start distancing yourself 4rm him and 2 help you take your mind off him, get the support of your gfs, find some new hobbies etc to take your mind off him. Either he will come to his senses and realise how much he is missing you and that your are not at his beck and he will call & make a true effort OR things will just naturally come to an end. It WILL be hard 4 you but if you do finish with him afterwards you will look back and realise you will happier by doing this than staying miserable while he has a great time stringing you along and partying with his mates. Also at least you can look back and say you did everything within your power to make it work and that being in a relationship isnt being in a one man band! It is a 2 way partnership! Your are still young, attractive and even though its a slight cliche now, you will find another person who will be more worthy fo your love and affection if this doesnt work out.
Good Luck
P.S Sorry for talking so much lol
Reply 6
He doesnt sound all that interested to be honest.
If he cant be bothered to stick to arrangements, and wont make the effort to take a day or 2 out of his schedual to see you after 2 months of being apart because he would rather go out on the piss with his friends then frankly in my opinion he isnt worth your time.
As someone else suggested just turn up one day when you are fairly certain he will be there. If he doesnt look pleased to see you, that should say it all.
If he cant be bothered to stick to arrangements, and wont make the effort to take a day or 2 out of his schedual to see you after 2 months of being apart because he would rather go out on the piss with his friends then frankly in my opinion he isnt worth your time.
As someone else suggested just turn up one day when you are fairly certain he will be there. If he doesnt look pleased to see you, that should say it all.
Reply 7
15
He sounds extremely immature. "Come see me or I'll dump you"?? That's emotional blackmailing! So basically either you do what he wants or he wants nothing to do with you. In short, he wants the attention whenever he wants it and you MUST give it to him or else, but when it comes to attention you need, sod it all.
Talk to him, and if he doesn't listen or isn't willing to change, dump him.
Talk to him, and if he doesn't listen or isn't willing to change, dump him.
Reply 8
He needs to grow a back bone, how old are you two and how long have you been a thing/item.
Maybe if you're relatively young, he may think this might be a low deal thing to him and high deal for you. Together this won't work between you. Also what are you expecting or wanting out of this 'relationship'.
Fingers x'd he comes Tomorrow. But if he don't take that as a sign its probably not the right time or person to be with. Good luck all the same in the future whatever happens.
I dunno what else to say.
Maybe if you're relatively young, he may think this might be a low deal thing to him and high deal for you. Together this won't work between you. Also what are you expecting or wanting out of this 'relationship'.
Fingers x'd he comes Tomorrow. But if he don't take that as a sign its probably not the right time or person to be with. Good luck all the same in the future whatever happens.
I dunno what else to say. Reply 9
irising
Talk to him, and if he doesn't listen or isn't willing to change, dump him.
Completely agree here. It seems he isn't making any effort at all, and is blaming you for not seeing him, as if he expects you to do all the work. Two people need to make a relationship work, and if he's not doing anything, it doesn't look like it's going to work out.
Reply 10
16
He is not interested
Do not call him again. Leave him to it and move on
Do not call him again. Leave him to it and move on
Reply 11
Give it one last try. My boyfriends been away for 2 of 3 weeks and it's ****ed up our relationship (we fell out and didnt speak for 6 days). He's now just dumped me but I'm not having any of it as my theory is, his reactions are different because we haven't seen or touched each other for so long (this is the longest we've ever been in apart in our relationship). So my plan to see him when he comes back and try again after he's experienced everything that was lacking whilst he was away. If that doesn't work, then I'll let the relationship finish.
It's different communicating with someone in person. Try your very best to see him and if you do manage to do that, then re-assess whether you still think he wants to be with you.
It's different communicating with someone in person. Try your very best to see him and if you do manage to do that, then re-assess whether you still think he wants to be with you.
Reply 12
Well I spoke to him today again, and he was like 'do you want to go to london instead?' I tried planning it, he wasn't co-operating. So i said to him '**** it, I can't be bothered to meet up' we started to argue. He went ' I want to meet up, but you make it so hard cos you moan about it' i snapped back and said 'I'm not moaning, I'm pissed off!' then he went all quite. Said something else, and i hung up on him! He posted on my facebook, which he never does saying 'sorry x' I rang him he said he was busy making notes for his revision and that he will call me later. Doubt that is going to happen...Very pissed off indeed!
Reply 13
Quiet _One86
He needs to grow a back bone, how old are you two and how long have you been a thing/item.
Maybe if you're relatively young, he may think this might be a low deal thing to him and high deal for you. Together this won't work between you. Also what are you expecting or wanting out of this 'relationship'.
Fingers x'd he comes Tomorrow. But if he don't take that as a sign its probably not the right time or person to be with. Good luck all the same in the future whatever happens.
I dunno what else to say.
Maybe if you're relatively young, he may think this might be a low deal thing to him and high deal for you. Together this won't work between you. Also what are you expecting or wanting out of this 'relationship'.
Fingers x'd he comes Tomorrow. But if he don't take that as a sign its probably not the right time or person to be with. Good luck all the same in the future whatever happens.
I dunno what else to say. Well we met one month before we had to go back home for the summer, so about 3months. He is 20 nearly 21 and I'm 19
Reply 14
Quiet _One86
He needs to grow a back bone, how old are you two and how long have you been a thing/item.
Maybe if you're relatively young, he may think this might be a low deal thing to him and high deal for you. Together this won't work between you. Also what are you expecting or wanting out of this 'relationship'.
Fingers x'd he comes Tomorrow. But if he don't take that as a sign its probably not the right time or person to be with. Good luck all the same in the future whatever happens.
I dunno what else to say.
Maybe if you're relatively young, he may think this might be a low deal thing to him and high deal for you. Together this won't work between you. Also what are you expecting or wanting out of this 'relationship'.
Fingers x'd he comes Tomorrow. But if he don't take that as a sign its probably not the right time or person to be with. Good luck all the same in the future whatever happens.
I dunno what else to say. Well we met one month before we had to go back home for the summer, so about 3months. He is 20 nearly 21 and I'm 19
Reply 15
winniethepooh88
Well we met one month before we had to go back home for the summer, so about 3months. He is 20 nearly 21 and I'm 19
You have made a lot of threads about your boyfriend and all of them say you are not happy with him.
Reply 16
It looks like you've given away our secret identity I'm afraid - make sure you hit that anon button!
I'm in a similar sort of situation with a bloke who's just not making any effort. Part of the thing with mine is that he's stubborn, so if I tell him it's got to change he just draws back even further, and he's so emotionally avoidant that if I express any hurt feelings he tells me to stop talking about it and sweeps it under the rug. Last term he spent far more time getting pissed with his mates than with me, and we hadn't even been going out that long. It feels like he doesn't want a real relationship (too emotionally immature), just a doll he can put in the wardrobe and bring out every time he needs a girlfriend to show off at a social occasion.
I've been out with a 'makes-no-effort' bloke before, so I know that I have to end this one now, otherwise it'll go on for as long as it did last time. SOmetimes I wonder if all men are like this, but a couple of my friends have met really lovely guys - I think it's me choosing the wrong ones! I agree with KarlZ:
It'll probably be easier if you do it without having seen him, and over the phone. It sounds a bit harsh, but maybe it's best just to do it quickly. It's how I'm going to it. All relationships take effort, but if it's taking THIS much effort, it might not be worth it.
Good luck to the both of us
I'm in a similar sort of situation with a bloke who's just not making any effort. Part of the thing with mine is that he's stubborn, so if I tell him it's got to change he just draws back even further, and he's so emotionally avoidant that if I express any hurt feelings he tells me to stop talking about it and sweeps it under the rug. Last term he spent far more time getting pissed with his mates than with me, and we hadn't even been going out that long. It feels like he doesn't want a real relationship (too emotionally immature), just a doll he can put in the wardrobe and bring out every time he needs a girlfriend to show off at a social occasion.
I've been out with a 'makes-no-effort' bloke before, so I know that I have to end this one now, otherwise it'll go on for as long as it did last time. SOmetimes I wonder if all men are like this, but a couple of my friends have met really lovely guys - I think it's me choosing the wrong ones! I agree with KarlZ:
It WILL be hard 4 you but if you do finish with him afterwards you will look back and realise you will happier by doing this than staying miserable while he has a great time stringing you along and partying with his mates.
It'll probably be easier if you do it without having seen him, and over the phone. It sounds a bit harsh, but maybe it's best just to do it quickly. It's how I'm going to it. All relationships take effort, but if it's taking THIS much effort, it might not be worth it.
Good luck to the both of us
Reply 17
Ah **** it, I'm going to use my user name now! haha. So, basically I've been thinking how much he treats me like crap. He said he will change and nothing has happened. We were planning to go to london, but he said 'its up to me'. I rang him in the afternoon, he said he will call me back. He never did. I rang him, phone kept ringing. Rang him again and now he has turned it off! I left him a very tearful voicemail. I think I should dump him. He makes no effort at all, even tho he said he will! which hurts the most..
Reply 18
For goodness sake woman! I have given you plenty advice on this before!!!
You know exactly what you need to do!
You know exactly what you need to do!
Reply 19
One thread is enough love.
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