Going too fast?

Bf going into his 3rd year, and me into my 2nd year. After his 3rd year he'll want an MA, which he might well take in Germany whilst I'm in my 3rd year in England by that time. So, LDR - both agreed that it's only worth it if we think the relationship might go somewhere. By that we mean marriage. Been together 1yr and almost 8months. By the time he's applied for his MA and be deciding where to study, it'll have been over 2yrs.

So now, is it too fast to have just had a conversation with him about the sacrifices that come with marrying me - eg, he'll have to know there might be a chance he'll have to immigrate to England and leave his home? Cus I don't speak German and I'm gonna go into writing as a career - am learning German atm. Bear in mind this is a guy who hates the very thought of leaving Germany and he's patriotic enough to go to war for Germany, I believe. So he loves Germany, his family's there. It's his home. And England's mine :s-smilie:

I'll be 20 next week and he'll be 20 in Oct. So we're still young. He wants a PhD as well, and I know I definitely want an MA, and possibly a PhD.

So... am I jumping ahead of myself? :s-smilie:

The gap between the possible LDR and now is only less than a year, and I thought he really need to know that getting stuck with me could mean getting stuck in England, which I know WILL make him miserable, so I need to know he's actually willing as opposed to doing it grudgingly, because if he's opened to the possibility then he might even be happy to live in England.

Reply 1

dh00001

16

ask him. we cant tell you

Reply 2

Bismarck

13

Where there's a will, there's a way. If you want to have a writing career by the way, you don't need to reside in Britain all the time. Most of the writing can be done at home with the help of the internet. I'm sure you can come to some arrangement where you'll spend an x amount of time in Britain and a y amount of time in Germany, even if it's just for all your vacations.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Bismarck

Where there's a will, there's a way. If you want to have a writing career by the way, you don't need to reside in Britain all the time. Most of the writing can be done at home with the help of the internet. I'm sure you can come to some arrangement where you'll spend an x amount of time in Britain and a y amount of time in Germany, even if it's just for all your vacations.

Well, becoming an author is a possibility, but I am also thinking of becoming an editor, working at a publisher's or translation. Alternatively my other plan is to lecture Art History at universities. I need an excellent level of German to go into any of that in Germany :s-smilie:

Or there're English schools where I'm sure I can get a job, but I don't know if I wanna teach secondary schools :s-smilie:

Reply 4

Bismarck

13

Anonymous

Well, becoming an author is a possibility, but I am also thinking of becoming an editor, working at a publisher's or translation. Alternatively my other plan is to lecture Art History at universities. I need an excellent level of German to go into any of that in Germany :s-smilie:

Or there're English schools where I'm sure I can get a job, but I don't know if I wanna teach secondary schools :s-smilie:

Professors at universities only teach for about 25-30 weeks a year.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Bismarck

Professors at universities only teach for about 25-30 weeks a year.

That's about half the year. For that half a year, how am I gonna teach in German if I'm no good at German? And why would you wanna employ someone who can only research and not teach, when there're perfectly adequate Germans who can do both? :frown:

I guess in the end I'm scared that my German won't be up to scratch... :frown:

Reply 6

simple_things

Anonymous

That's about half the year. For that half a year, how am I gonna teach in German if I'm no good at German? And why would you wanna employ someone who can only research and not teach, when there're perfectly adequate Germans who can do both? :frown:

I guess in the end I'm scared that my German won't be up to scratch... :frown:

what about being an english - german translator for a company? you often get business trips to the country you weren't in. you could just arrange holiday time straight after to stay over there or in england depending on which country you worked in.

also, how about teaching english, not german in a german school. you could come back to england for the holidays and i'm guessing english is your first language so it'll be easier and more sensible to teach that. also you could do exchange trips.

apart from the patriotism, what is stopping him from transferring to an english uni?

Reply 7

Bismarck

13

Anonymous

That's about half the year. For that half a year, how am I gonna teach in German if I'm no good at German? And why would you wanna employ someone who can only research and not teach, when there're perfectly adequate Germans who can do both? :frown:

I guess in the end I'm scared that my German won't be up to scratch... :frown:

My point is that you can teach 30 weeks a year in Britain and spend the rest of the time in Germany.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Bismarck

My point is that you can teach 30 weeks a year in Britain and spend the rest of the time in Germany.

I'm afraid I'm not willing to spend half a year, every year, away from my husband and hopefully, children. And I'm sure my bf wouldn't want that either.

Reply 9

L0RA

9

Woah woah woah!!

Think about it as it comes, dont go running away with yourself worrying about marriage.

If he is the one then you'll both make sacrifices to be together. :smile:

Going too fast?

Related discussions

Articles for you