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    The problem I have been having is that two of my 'friends' have been consistently telling me - for over a decade - that they're 'just too busy' (literally in those words) whenever I question their absence or their availability to go out with me.

    It's always something:
    - "Oh, I wasn't home when you sent me the message"
    - "Oh, I am at a party" (I've heard that one probably a thousand times)
    - "Oh, I can't right now"
    - "Oh, you've just missed me"
    - "Oh, I can't this weekend" (this one I especially hate because it's been 10 years worth of weekends they 'couldn't'.
    - "Oh, .." whatever!! They will make up anything to not hang out with you

    I think they are lying. What do you think?

    Before you answer this question, I invite you to take a look at the following:
    http://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meye...to_spot_a_liar
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arin-g...b_4547137.html

    One of the things to take away here is that liars use the word 'just' in their affirmations all the time. Additionally, you will see in the TED video that liars also try their hardest best to completely distance themselves from the act they do and they will defend their supposed unavailability (claiming they can't go out).
    That word "just" indicates a flat out lie. I know some liars around me and I've seen it happen when they lie, using the word 'just'.

    If people consistently ignore you for years on end, then I think it's fair to say they don't want to be around you.
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    sounds to me like liars...

    why are you even friends still?
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    ALL friends are liars.
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    10 years and you're still not getting the message???
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    The words "can't" "couldn't" "haven't" "shouldn't" "wouldn't" already show that they're not interested; also the word "oh" shows it the most.


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    (Original post by !!mentor!!)
    10 years and you're still not getting the message???
    this, **** off and leave them alone, they dont want to hand out with you, but theyre trying to be nice, hoping that youll get the MSG. They might still want to keep in touch but they dont want to be as close friends as you want them to be. I mean in 10 years you should have gained some new friends in the time the others ignored you. are theyre lying ... only a fool would think theyre not and only a fool wont get the MSG they dont wanna hang out with ya.
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    (Original post by Halzy1234)
    The words "can't" "couldn't" "haven't" "shouldn't" "wouldn't" already show that they're not interested; also the word "oh" shows it the most.


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    Interesting. Is there a scientific research you base this on?
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    (Original post by rimstone)
    this, **** off and leave them alone, they dont want to hand out with you, but theyre trying to be nice, hoping that youll get the MSG. They might still want to keep in touch but they dont want to be as close friends as you want them to be. I mean in 10 years you should have gained some new friends in the time the others ignored you. are theyre lying ... only a fool would think theyre not and only a fool wont get the MSG they dont wanna hang out with ya.
    Yes, that's exactly what it is. However, you would think I could get new friends in 10 years. I tried, but I never succeeded. I tried it at university, nothing.. at my sports clubs, nothing.. People just don't want to talk to me.
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    Sometimes its not because they don't want to hang out with you; it might just be that they are lazy
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    I'd like to share one of my college books:

    How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age by Dale Carnegie, Brent Cole

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/...he-digital-age

    Recently, I've seen one of the lessons in this book take form in one of my friendships: one of the two guys who never hung out with me for a decade is now completely willing to have me over at his place and he's all excited and everything. He's been talking about the good times between us gaming and what not.

    The lesson here is that people want to be around people who add value to their life. I never (seem to) add value to anyone's life, which is why they all ignore me and think I'm unimportant. However, recently, I've been more 'frat bro guy' like with this friend of mine and it reminded him of all the cool times we had together and now he wants to hang out because of that. Value, my friends.. value.

    On a second note, I wasn't completely being myself during this interaction - I was being more 'loose', in fact. It seems that people don't like strict people.. and I am extremely strict by personality - I don't tolerate anything from anyone, not even a misspelling.

    With this, I hope people read this book and gain some insight as well.
 
 
 
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