Sick of being a muslim woman

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    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.

    The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'). This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.

    So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely cause everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
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    i think the best thing to do is face your family and dont let anyone tell you what to do, believe, or wear,
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    dont feel forced to believe in ideals that you dont believe in.
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    (Original post by john1332123)
    i think the best thing to do is face your family and dont let anyone tell you what to do, believe, or wear,
    If only it were that easy, the community I live in is toxic...I need to escape it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.

    The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'. This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.

    So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely cause everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
    Bite the bullet and resit. You could have gone to Scotland, bet that would be far enough away.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If only it were that easy, the community I live in is toxic...I need to escape it
    what do you think the best way farward would be if there in an ideal world.
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    Someone else exactly like me. I have to deal with Islam for 4 years until I go to uni. If I tell my parents I'm not Muslim, they'll probably disown me
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.

    The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'. This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.

    So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely cause everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
    Don't let anyone tell you what to do!! Also, have you tried clearing, to get a place at a uni further from home? And I would say your best option would be to change unis after 1 st year!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If only it were that easy, the community I live in is toxic...I need to escape it
    It seems as if you have made up your mind on what to do.

    The next question is how to do it. I would advise not rushing things. You may despise the people around you for their beliefs, but they are your community. And a community gives you support. If you escape it like that, you will suddenly lose that support. That will be tough. So you will need to put structures in place to help you.

    First thing would be a place to live. Where are you going to live? Second thing would be do you have enough money to get by til you find a job in case your parents shut you off completely. Third is people. I would not tell anyone about this that knows you or your family. I am serious. You can never know what so-called friends might say, even inadvertently. But once you make your escape you do need other people else you will feel alone and maybe worse (depression, regret, etc.) So you need to have in mind a few key people that you can talk to afterwards, and have a plausible story why you didn't involve them in your plan. Because people will get pissed off at that. I would tell these people before actually escaping, but only so shortly before that it can't be stopped anymore.
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    Maybe, if you want, you could look up Quran alone Islam where beliefs are much more peaceful. There is no commandment of wearing a hijab, prohibition of music, not wearing perfume etc. which all come from Hadiths.http://www.quran-islam.org/home_(P1).htmlMay I ask, what part of Islam, do you believe is BS?
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    (Original post by Sardonic Zarah)
    Someone else exactly like me. I have to deal with Islam for 4 years until I go to uni. If I tell my parents I'm not Muslim, they'll probably disown me
    Unless legally emancipated, the minor is subject to all the whims of the parents with exception to illegal or abusive behavior.
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    I would just work really hard this year then make up an excuse to your parents like "The people on this course are really immature and they make me feel uncomfortable. I found this other university which has the same course and i visited it once and its full of respectful girls who value education and i think it would be a better fit for me" Then they would think your current uni will make you "loose" and will allow you to leave to go somewhere else. In terms of making friends, you would miss out on finding flatmates in year 1 for year 2 so you would have to jump into the deep end in terms of finding accomdation however at the actual uni you should have no trouble making friends because everyone at uni is looking to expand their social circles. Goodluck!
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    you have to win the heart and mind of your mother - you have to convince her that being a normal western girl isn't shameful, and in fact, to think of dressing in that way as "shameful" or something similar is just xenophobic bigotry from her. she needs to understand that while she might be from "the old country", *you* were born in the west. you and the west are inseparable. if multiculturalism has tuaght us anything, it's that you cannot separate people from their community - and the west *is* your community. you have a link to the community of "the old country" through your blood and family, but ultimately, *your* community, that you were born and raised in, is the west. so you ought to be allowed to come to terms with that fact and identify as a western girl. if your parents didn't want you to integrate into the west, then they shouldn't have made the mistake of raising you in the west to begin with - if anybody is "at fault", it is your parent(s).
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    You could still differ I think? If not then hold out for the first year and transfer if you're still unhappy. Don't let religion control your life
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    [QUOTE=john1332123;67193254]
    (Original post by PursuitOfJannah)
    Follow the path of your ancestors, dont be seduced by the free and easy western society. The white British are proof that the atheist path leads to nothing but civilisational decay (the rising homelessness, divorce, falling levels of education, alcoholism, teen pregs) and is that what you want to become? Just another feckless pastry faced gora **** nothing more than a slave to mainstream consumerism, the football scores, cigarettes and 2 for 1 shots at the club. Or do you want to stay human, practising the Dawah, attaining moral greatness and spreading the message of the Prophet?

    Quran 9:5 (the infamous verse of the sword inciting mass murder):"Then, when the sacred months have passed, slay the idolaters wherever ye find them, and take them (captive), and besiege them, and prepare for them each ambush. But if they repent and establish worship and pay the poor-due, then leave their way free. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."Verse 9:5 teaches Muslims to commit mass-murder. The kafirs must either convert to Islam, who would keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate (zakat), or be murdered. Command for unconditional slaying of humans, God's own creations, by other humans – when presented as a sacred teaching of the almighty Creator – becomes a most evil teaching. Needless to say, such teachings never came from God.
    now is that what religion is teaching us.

    religion is leading to so much conflict

    and i do mean all religions.
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    (Original post by lawyer3c)
    If she thought her community were supportive she wouldn't be having this issue in the first place... You clearly know little about certain muslim/asian communities.


    1. most white brits are christian, not atheist
    2. if it's such a terrible civilisation why do so many of your people risk their lives to come live here (you/your ancestors included, I might add)?
    3. take your Salafi bigotry elsewhere, preferable Mosul
    I think they come here mostly cos of the English language, a few benefits and cos of the anglo american foreign policy i.e. starting wholly unnecessary wars in places like Iraq under the supposed guise of freedom and democracy. There is absolutely nothing remarkable about non London UK. Dubai is **** hot right now.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.

    The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'. This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.

    So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely cause everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
    the best thing for you to do is find a way to live in your own home and that way if your mother disapproves you have your own home so no one can kick you out
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    (Original post by PursuitOfJannah)
    Dubai is **** hot right now.
    that's cos it's in a desert abu bakr
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    (Original post by PursuitOfJannah)
    Follow the path of your ancestors, dont be seduced by the free and easy western society. The white British are proof that the atheist path leads to nothing but civilisational decay (the rising homelessness, divorce, falling levels of education, alcoholism, teen pregs) and is that what you want to become? Just another feckless pastry faced gora **** nothing more than a slave to mainstream consumerism, the football scores, cigarettes and 2 for 1 shots at the club. Or do you want to stay human, practising the Dawah, attaining moral greatness and spreading the message of the Prophet?

    Stay close to home and continue the tradition of your bloodline.
    How can you link atheism to the mentioned issues? I have been to some islamic countries and i have seen poor levels of education, mistreatment of women, drug use, hooliganism, homelessness and even public killings. Does that mean i should run to for example, bangladesh and save people from the brown men who will turn them towards molestation, murder and rape? No. Why? Because there is no intrinsic link between someone's religious beliefs, nationality and colour and the actions they commit. So please don't say "white british= or Atheist=" because there is no answer. It's called diversity. Please, educate yourself.
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    (Original post by PursuitOfJannah)
    Follow the path of your ancestors, dont be seduced by the free and easy western society. The white British are proof that the atheist path leads to nothing but civilisational decay (the rising homelessness, divorce, falling levels of education, alcoholism, teen pregs) and is that what you want to become? Just another feckless pastry faced gora **** nothing more than a slave to mainstream consumerism, the football scores, cigarettes and 2 for 1 shots at the club. Or do you want to stay human, practising the Dawah, attaining moral greatness and spreading the message of the Prophet?

    Stay close to home and continue the tradition of your bloodline.
    What a load of rubbish and this is why i always claim not to be apart of any religion. Anyone should be able to live their only life they have the way they wish. This girl is just tired of her religion restricting her from enjoying life, who are you to tell her the way to live.
 
 
 
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