The Student Room Group

Stopped losing weight!!

Hi all,

when i first started seeing my girlfriend about 4 months ago i was very conscious about her weight because she is very big. I assumed it was because she ate too much and was lazy which makes sense. This was a problem to me and i was not going to start a relationship because of what it represents about her (eg no self respect).
But she soon told me that it was not because she ate too much etc it was because she has a problem with her metabolism. I know this is true because she eats less than the average person and does eat healthily. This changed my view because i knew it wasn't her choice to be like she is. But I am comfortable with the weight thing now.

She was on medication to balance her metabolism and eventually lead her body to work correctly without medication and return her to a normal size. But she stopped whilst she took her exams after doctors advice. The exams ended about 2 months ago and she still hasn't gone back on them. This is worrying me because i want her to use them as soon as possible and sort this problem out. I obviously want her to lose a lot of weight and with just a tablet a day she could do this so i don't understand why she wouldn't.

When i asked her about it a few weeks back she said she had forgotten all about it and that she would start again soon. But nothing has happened.

Surely leaving yourself overweight and at risk to health problems when you can sort it out fairly easily is just as bad as being overweight because of eating? I think if she doesn't attept to sort it soon i may split with her because we must want different things. She may be comfortable remaining large where as i won't be. If she attempted the medication thing and it doesn't work as well as expected i can deal with that and i will still love her whatever.

Obviously this is difficult to talk about with her, any advice is appreciated.
What should i do?

Cheers guys
Reply 1
Eek shallow :/
Reply 2
OK if you have such an issue with her weight, why did you start seeing her in the first place? If that's all you see when you look at her and you're that desperate for her to lose weight then that suggests to me that you dont loveher or at least that you dont love her unconditionally. If she's happy with her size and she eats healthily then really who are you to dictate that she needs to take the tablets. They might have some nasty side effects that she hasnt told you about. Sorry if i sound harsh but if you're not happy with her the way she is then you shouldnt be with her.
I think if she doesn't attept to sort it soon i may split with her because we must want different things.


You're not splitting with her because the two of you want different things. You just don't like the thought of having an overweight gf. If you truly loved her "whatever" then you wouldn't care less what weight she was. Breaking up with her now isn't going to do wonders for her self-esteem and it's likely she'll give up on losing weight entirely.
I think she deserves a more caring boyfriend.
Reply 5
I really don't think i could be called shallow tbh. I take so much stick from people because of who i am in a relationship with but i love her for who she is so it doesn't matter.

Its not about what she looks like that is the problem, its the principle that she isn't doing anything about it. The medication was working really well before so why stop?

If she has decided to leave herself as she is it will be a major problem to me. When i started a relationship with her she was on medication and looked to be sorting the poblem out and i had no probem with her size because i knew she was doing somehing about it. As long as i know she has tried to sort it out i will have no problem with it if it dosn't work because i know she has tried.

I know and she has told me that the size she's at now is really unhealthly and the drugs can sort this and i don't know how you could forget something like this?

I want her to take the medication for herself buti don't want to have to say anything becausei want her to do it for herself and not me!
Reply 6
Have you thought maybe she is happy at her size?
Reply 7
i think she's an elephant as opposed to fat....

you can understand the OP's concerns if that is the case.
Reply 8
Well that is the question!!

If she is i don't know if i can carry on with this relationship, because she is already unhleathy because of her weight and i fear that things will get worse if she doesn't sort it. And to be honest it will be her own fault if something does happen because she has decided not to do anything to prevent it.

I have asked her about this when i first started seeing her and she said she is comfortable at the size she is at now but it is unhleathy and she wants to go down to a more average size so whats the delay??

I think i'm gonna have to talk to her about it again.
Reply 9
samba
i think she's an elephant as opposed to fat....

you can understand the OP's concerns if that is the case.



Don't be rude please mate, she's a size 20 if that helps...
Reply 10
sorry, i wasnt trying to be... i've just not got much subtlety abilities :smile:
Reply 11
samba
sorry, i wasnt trying to be... i've just not got much subtlety abilities :smile:

lol! ok mate apology accepted i know what u mean tho she is really large and i supposed some of the other posters may not have realied that!
Size 20? IS that all?

Yes, it is fairly large, but I've sold women clothes to have them return them because they are too small, and the clothes were size 30/32!!

She's only just above the national average of 14/16.

Maybe she is happy being the size she is.

At the end of the day, it's her choice.

If you dump her, because she is overweight but happy, then I would call you shallow.
Reply 13
hmmm well maybe she isn't a size 20 then because she is way way over the national average. Thats just what she told me and i didn't think that she would be lying but maybe she did because she might have been a little embarrassed?