Are his friends weird, or am I just unattractive ?

A few months ago I started talking to a bloke on a chat room (let´s call him X). We got along well, so we decided to meet up since we did not live vert far away from each other. We agreed on meeting in a shopping centre, and all went quite well- except that the conversation was very impersonal (taxes, politics) and frankly, a bit dull. Still, he is quite cute , so I was delighted when he suggested we meet again a few days later.
A week later, we went to Starbucks and chatted a bit, but then a friend of his called him and he told me he was sorry but he had to see him because he was spending the night at his place, but I would be welcome to come along. I did so, unfortunately. There were 2 of his friends , who barely acknowledged me. We walked along , and they did not speak to me at all. X and one of his friends started chatting, so that left em and the other guy walking in bleak silence. Feeling very uncomfortable and assuming that he might be shy, I tried to start a conversation with him, but he obviously had no interest whatsoever in speaking to me and gave very curt answers, not even looking at me. X saw I was distressed, and tried to include me in the conversation, but his friends pointedly shunned me. I was fed up, so I made a hasty excuse and left. As I was leaving I overheard X asking them "so what did you think of her " but I could not hear the answer.
I am a bit paranoid now, because I really liked him but I fear he thinks I am unattractive and just took pity on me. I wonder why his friends pointedly ignored me , given that I tried to be pleasant and friendly .
I sent X an email, and he replied quite nicely, but he mentioned having spent the last few nights "clubbing and checking out the hordes of fitties in my city".

I am a bit saddened by this, as ridiculous as it might sound. I have low self confidence, and this episode just reinforces my belief that I´m unattractive and therefore ignored.

I don´t know what I want to acheive by this post, perhaps some insight as to the reason his friends behaved like that ?

Reply 1

generalebriety

16

They're ********s? Clearly if he saw you were distressed, his friends were acting out of character. Maybe they didn't want you there - face it, a load of guys staying over the night might just not want a girl there, particularly one they don't know, uninvited (and by this, I mean uninvited by the house owner).

Edit: damn it! 11,111 posts passed me by and I never noticed.

Reply 2

spartakist

14

They sound like they're socially inept, to be honest. How old are you/they, if you don't mind me asking?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

generalebriety

They're ********s? Clearly if he saw you were distressed, his friends were acting out of character. Maybe they didn't want you there - face it, a load of guys staying over the night might just not want a girl there, particularly one they don't know, uninvited (and by this, I mean uninvited by the house owner).

Edit: damn it! 11,111 posts passed me by and I never noticed.

Erm let me clarify : X was the one who had inveted them (so he is the house owner) , we weren t even at his house , we were just walking in the street in search of ice-cream.

Btw, I am 17, X and his friends are 18/19

Reply 4

spartakist

14

It'll be nothing to do with you, trust me...I have known several guys who act lke that towards girls, and it'll be due to extreme shyness, rather than anything wrong with you...

Reply 5

Dionysus

15

I seriously doubt you are unattractive. Are you otherwise attached, btw, maybe with a previous relationship? Because I recently met a girl who I had definitely intended to make an attempt at pulling, but I decided against it because she was obviously still in love with another guy, and the last thing I want to do is end up in a love triangle. Maybe you're just so stunningly gorgeous that he's scared. Honestly, so many girls tell me they're 'a bit ugly' and they just aren't remotely ugly - in fact one of them was the most attractive person I know.

Reply 6

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

Erm let me clarify : X was the one who had inveted them (so he is the house owner) , we weren t even at his house , we were just walking in the street in search of ice-cream.

Btw, I am 17, X and his friends are 18/19

I think you could answer your own question here. Either way, why would they not talk to you just because you're ugly? Makes no sense.

Reply 7

JaneThePain

Perhaps they just didn't know how to react, what with there being a girl who they didn't know there!

Reply 8

marshall123

Maybe they got jealous, coz they thought u were really good lookin, that X managed to find a gorgeous girl like u instead? Its possible

Reply 9

2nd2god

11

The reason they are ignoring you is probably cuz you are attractive and they are shy. Even so I must admit they seem to be rude seriously dont worry about it, dont let things like that get you down,

Reply 10

Firestars

generalebriety

I think you could answer your own question here. Either way, why would they not talk to you just because you're ugly? Makes no sense.

does seen really difficult to falthem out i ten to agree!

Reply 11

randomgirl

14

They are just idiots? They aren't good with new people?

Forget them, they only met you once, who are they to judge?

Reply 12

The Strangest Quark

It's not the friends I'd be worried about - there's nothing unusual about socially inept teenage boys - it's the comment about 'hordes of fitties'. That is not the kind of thing a guy says to somebody he in interested in a relationship with, usually, unless he is mind-blowingly insensitive. Also to me the word 'fitties' carries connotations of a certain degree of shallowness.

Reply 13

Rennie

1

I had a similar problem with my boyfriend's friends being horrible to me.

I would assume that they're just idiots. It's probably nothing to do with how you look, not that this stops the way they treated you making you upset.

If the guy was trying to include you then I'm sure he liked you too or else he wouldn't have asked you again. On the other hand the stuff in his email doesn't sound too promising, in my opinion. That was really insensitive of him to talk about other girls. Or maybe he is trying to make you jealous... or even find out if you're interested. Perhaps he doesn't even know that you are?

Reply 14

Firestars

The Strangest Quark

It's not the friends I'd be worried about - there's nothing unusual about socially inept teenage boys - it's the comment about 'hordes of fitties'. That is not the kind of thing a guy says to somebody he in interested in a relationship with, usually, unless he is mind-blowingly insensitive. Also to me the word 'fitties' carries connotations of a certain degree of shallowness.

only to true! not the best choice in words! :cool:

Are his friends weird, or am I just unattractive ?

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