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Bulimic thoughts

It's my mum's wedding on saturday and the other night I totally pigged out on chocolate/ice-cream/crisps. About half an hour later I then decided I felt so sick that I needed to throw up - not wanted, needed. I went to the loo, tried to force something up but couldnt - I dont know if I waited too long after eating or what. I tried sticking my fingers down my throat but just couldnt do it.

I left the bathroom feeling awful - not only did I feel bloated and disgusting but I felt like I failure - I couldnt even throw up the crap I'd eaten.

Anyone else ever feel like this?

Reply 1

bunthulhu

14

To clarify: Did you want to throw up because all the sugar made you feel nauseous or because you felt you had eaten too much/binged?

Reply 2

sauce

13

;no;

dont ever get into this habit, you are not a failure of any sort, you are a human being and all human beings want " bad things". Don't you dare feel bad :hugs:

, if you're worried about what you've eaten then the next day maybe just do a bit more exercise than usual or when you feel sick after eating distract yourself even if it just involves taking a nap or something ;console;

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

A combination of both. I felt so guilty having eaten all that food and just wanted to get it all out of my system, I cant afford to put on any weight for the wedding but Im so stupid I cant even stop eating crap for a while

Reply 4

*HullaBaLoO*

Don't get into the habit. It leads to a long road of complicated crap.
And chocolate tastes nasty thrown up lol. But yes, don't start thinking about that.

Just exercise more.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Just don't go there. It's a painful and lonely road.

Reply 6

Saffie

11

Make sure you don't eat so much in future, so that you don't have such thoughts again.

Reply 7

city_chic

13

Yeah sort of. But I've never actually thrown up after eating.

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

It's my mum's wedding on saturday and the other night I totally pigged out on chocolate/ice-cream/crisps. About half an hour later I then decided I felt so sick that I needed to throw up - not wanted, needed. I went to the loo, tried to force something up but couldnt - I dont know if I waited too long after eating or what. I tried sticking my fingers down my throat but just couldnt do it.

I left the bathroom feeling awful - not only did I feel bloated and disgusting but I felt like I failure - I couldnt even throw up the crap I'd eaten.

Anyone else ever feel like this?

I used to have anorexia... and a few times did try making myself sick, however I can tell you that it really isn't worth it. You don't have to be skinny to be beautiful, just eat healthily and exercise :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #4

I have thoughts like this and i've found myself really struggling against it. I try to think of how I will feel afterwards and that seems to help. Fight it.

Reply 10

Anonymous #5

No, seriously, don't do that ok?
When you start that sort of stuff it is incredibly hard to stop, seriously. Even if you physically manage to prevent yourself from vomiting (as I do nowadays) the psychological feeling of wanting really to do it is always there after you have a big meal/pig out a bit. It's a horrible thing and it's very draining to feel so guilty. Just try and think: one pig out isn't going to hurt you. You're not going to gain from that. Make up for it the next day with a healthy diet.

Reply 11

lostinfantasies

2

I know where you're coming from with this. I've never actually thrown up but used other methods of purging (I'm not about to give anyone any ideas!) which left me worse for wear, etc., etc.. But I keep getting these feelings of temptation to throw up, and find I physically can't do it when I get to the toilet (however, I'm getting closer and closer to the toilet recently, so I would not be surprised if I actually did it). I feel like a failure too, when I can't throw up. I just sit there, crying, in tears, because of the amount I've just eaten and the fact that I'm not doing anything about it. But I also feel like a failure because I went that far, you know?

I think I'm repulsive. I know I am. And whilst I know that in my heart of hearts that my eating habits and thoughts are not healthy, that I need to stop them, the thought of me looking like I do now actually disgusts me.

Reply 12

username47781

20

You really do not want to get into the habit of forcing yourself to throw up because you will damage your insides, you won't actually lose weight by doing it anyway. I know how hard it must be, but maybe you do need to speak to someone about this.

Reply 13

minimo

15

I dunno, I've had the urge to do this many a-time when dieting especially after binge-eating. Commonsense prevailed, however. :smile:

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