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boyfriend issue? who is in the wrong here?

Yeah, another one of thoese threads. :p:

Basically, I asked my boyfriend the other week (he works with me) he if wanted to go up the pub one day for lunch. He answered ‘no, I don’t have any money until I get paid, you know that’

So I thought, ok then fair enough. But today at lunch he comes up to me and says ‘see you later, I’m going for a game of golf at the driving range with the boys’ I don’t mind this as such, it’s just the fact that hes got no money when it comes to do something with me (eg the pub for lunch) but he has plenty of money when it comes to going down the driving range for a game of golf!

So I texted him and asked him why he did that, and he replied back ‘you are talking rubbish leave me alone’ so I rang him and explained how I felt about it, and asked if he could just make more of a effort in the future where my feeling are concerned.

Also tomorrow, is my brothers 6th birthday party, me and my boyfriend agreed two weeks ago to go and just show our faces for a little while (call in at the party, play a few games with the kids and all that). I texted him and I said I take it you are not coming to James party now then being I have to leave you alone?

He texted back (and I quote here) ‘your pathetic bringing a child into our fight, your sick in the head. Leave me alone.

And I mean wtf???? Sick in the head for bringing a child into it??

I mean come on now, that just beggars belief. I can't believe someone can speak to another person like that - over something so small!! So right now I’m really annoyed (to put it nicely) sometimes I really do hate men, I do think I would be better of becoming a nun!!! :p:

Sorry this was long winded and hard to read! Just having a major rant here!!
:frown:

any advice/input would be great. :smile:

Reply 1

Profesh

20

Your boyfriend is an insolent, hypocritical waste-of-space.

Reply 2

silverbolt

19

Profesh

Your boyfriend is an insolent, hypocritical waste-of-space.

bout right

tell him to do one, sounds like he just looking after himself

Reply 3

starshine

Your boyfriend is in the wrong, and is being rude.
There is no need for him to react the way he is, he should apologise to you.

xxxxxxxx

Reply 4

HereFishyFishy

13

Ok, so at first I thought you were being a little silly with all the pub/golf malarky. After all, you don't know if he was paying/if he'd paid in advance....
But his behaviour thereafter is a little worrying. He does seem to be acting a little bit irrational. Have you two had an argument? Have you nagged him constantly? I think you two need to have a little chat...if he'll stop going off on one.

Reply 5

username47781

20

Sounds like your boyfriend isn't very honest. Least if he told you he'd rather play a bit of golf then it wouldn't be such a big issue. Same with the birthday, if he said straight up he didn't fancy going then surely you wouldn't be half as mad. I would talk to him about this and tell him how you feel, least of all tell him to least be honest with you.

Reply 6

The Strangest Quark

Sounds like he's not worth the effort or the worry. You'll soon find a nicer one.

Reply 7

Font

Hayley_2k4

He texted back (and I quote here) ‘your pathetic bringing a child into our fight, your sick in the head. Leave me alone.

And I mean wtf???? Sick in the head for bringing a child into it??

I mean come on now, that just beggars belief. I can't believe someone can speak to another person like that - over something so small!! So right now I’m really annoyed (to put it nicely) sometimes I really do hate men, I do think I would be better of becoming a nun!!! :p:

Sorry this was long winded and hard to read! Just having a major rant here!!
:frown:

any advice/input would be great. :smile:

he sounds like most men - complete a-hole. if i was a girl i'd dump him and look for a someone with a rational outlook outlook on life. This dude u are with seems like a liar, untrustworthy and has some serious issues- good luck with whatever u do dear - i feel sorry for ya

Reply 8

Ang|ophi|e

12

Your BF is an ass. Don't you think it's time to let him go? He's disrespecting you. Do you think he's worth it? If so then maybe you should to talk to him in person.

Reply 9

username47781

20

I think it's a bit hasty to dump him, firstly I would talk to him about it then if he refuses to make an effort or says he will make an effort and doesn't, then is the time to ditch him.

Reply 10

specialk_698

14

Your boyfriend is not worth crying about. If someone can insult a person by saying something as incredibly hurtful like being sick in the head to who they're meant to care about, he I'snt a nice guy

Reply 11

Bosh

He wants some time for himself, try nagging less?

what a bell....

i can see where hes coming from in a way, my gf does stuff like that. If something doesnt go her way or i dont spend every hour of the day with her she starts texting petty things like that. The comment about going to the party is blatently just winding him up he wants to go have fun with his mates to get away from stress not having his gf nag at him. IMO ur pushing him away.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

also if ur posting asking whos in the wrong you must know its part your fault !

Reply 15

Hayley_2k4

OP

12

well I admit maybe I should of been a little nicer over the pub/golf thing. but I still don't think there's any need to go off on one like that! I mean afterall half hour at a 6 year old's party isn't going to kill him!

Reply 16

dh00001

16

i dont think whos wrong is an issue here. hes acted in a way that upset you and you told him so, which is good. but then for his latter reaction it would suggest there is another factor in this; has something else happened? how did you speak to him.
ultimatly if you want to be with him you cant have the im right and hes wrong attitude, you need to find the cause and deal with it in a way that suites both parties. then if there is no reason for his behavour etc. then you can think hes a **** :smile:

Reply 17

BabyGirl

Haha I must be the only one that thinks he wasn't wrong. OK the way he said it was a bit funny, but all he was doing was stopping you being so petty but he went a bit extreme.

Also you don't know the full story behind the golf, maybe someone paid etc? It's one time he's canceled on you, and I'm assuming other than that he's been out. Maybe he just wanted time with the boys.

My advice is to just let him be, he'll realize the "sick in the head" comment was silly and apologize and I also think you need to apologize.

Reply 18

randomgirl

14

Wow what an idiot. Don't let him treat you like that, have words and tell him he needs to change his ways if he wants to continue with this relationship.

Reply 19

devils_nose

10

BabyGirl

Haha I must be the only one that thinks he wasn't wrong. OK the way he said it was a bit funny, but all he was doing was stopping you being so petty but he went a bit extreme.

Also you don't know the full story behind the golf, maybe someone paid etc? It's one time he's canceled on you, and I'm assuming other than that he's been out. Maybe he just wanted time with the boys.

My advice is to just let him be, he'll realize the "sick in the head" comment was silly and apologize and I also think you need to apologize.

You're not alone, I don't think the above paints him as a big waste of space either. The pub/golf thing is weird, and a bit unfair I grant you, I think the 'leave me alone' comment was a bit throw away because he was probably feeling guilty and trying to come up with a good enough reason for upsetting you.

You sending a stroppy text about your brother's party seems a bit daft really and I'm not surprised you got the reply you did.

I think you are both in the wrong, you should stop winding him up and he should be more considerate with his plans/money.

boyfriend issue? who is in the wrong here?

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