Affected by my past

I was bullied at school for being a geeky boy - I have had a friend said to me once "I am better looking then you, you are ugly and you know you are". My family outside my immediate family are not very supportive either - like every time I have a chance they never seem to believe me and accuse her for being slutty.

Anyway times have changed, I worked on my image and I have finally almost found something that works for me. I can certainly dress well when it is needed (I have an artistic background), and can charm people with my sense of humour.

But till this day I am affected by it. I continiously strife to better myself, physically and personality wise, and when I have not reached my goals or something is holding me back that I am unable to control; I tend to get frustrated and depressed. I have become quite obssessed of being the best that I can be i.e. having the perfect body and being intellectually good.

I have had numerous chances with girls (since my "transformation"). But due to my past I always think that I am not good enough for her due to x reason; in short I am still relatively insecure about myself. I also do find it very difficult to get close to a girl when she is coming onto me, because it is all so new to me - I am not very used to it and it always happens so fast. As you could imagine a lot of girls may eventually find me to be a bit ackward and get put off.

I am quite affected by past events and still see myself as geeky. I have writted to the sumaritans about this, but they are no help - I dare not to tell any of my friends in real life. Anyone else feel the same (if so, and are going through what I am going through) how did you handle it and overcome it?

Thanks.

I had the same except I think mine was more in my mind than anything else. I was (and am, who am i kidding) pathetically shy, so I suppose the shy freak of the class. I still have no confidence and will never trust anyone but myself. Have been to councelling but didn't really work, its just me. I "deal with it" by not relying on anyone and doing everything by myself - ok, so my parents are paying for uni but thats different somehow! I've built a wall around myself since I was about 10 and can almost physically feel it blocking everyone out. Still.

Ok, so thats not exactly dealing with it but anyway....!

I was bullied at junior and infant school, and I'm in the same situation in that I am never fully secure about myself. It's a painful situation, but I find that a diary, as someone else suggested, does work. The only other thing I suggest is time. We have to learn to love ourselves.

argh this makes me angry. I'm sorry about your past

Well the fact that you have girls coming onto you means something. It's all new to everyone at the start but we have to start somewhere right. If you're not showing any attraction back to her or you are nervous, it may come across that you're not into her and then yeh she may get put off. You just have to be brave, and if you're not confident, then just act like you are. If someone comes onto you, they obviously think you're attractive or nice or whatever so take it as a compliment and go with it, let go of those hurtful comments of the past, and try to move on.

I was bullied at my junior school too and even though it is a few years ago you never quite let go of the pain the people caused you. One way i found to overcome it was to keep a diary, which is good if you don't want to confide in anyone, and then that way when you go through phases of being depressed you can write it down and then try and move on from it. However, the best way is to talk to someone, in your case it might help to talk to a girl you trust, whether she be a close friend and/or family. This way you can get a view of from the opposite sex and see what they think of your situation. Also, you said you don't feel like you can be close to girls because she might not like you for certain reasons...if you find a girl you like, you could always try opening up to her and talking about your past - sometimes its better to talk to people who don't know anything about you so that they can't judge you on opinions they have already made.
Well done on coming as far as you have, and if you carry on to believe in yourself you will get to where you want to be one day.