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My partner was sexually molested as a child watch

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    My partner just opened up about this incident in their past. I listened and supported them. I would never tell a soul and I will always be here for them if they need to talk. I feel really sick that this has happened to them. I'm not sure how to appropriately deal with this for future reference. For eg I'm not going to push them to do anything but should I encourage them to report it or something?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My partner just opened up about this incident in their past. I listened and supported them. I would never tell a soul and I will always be here for them if they need to talk. I feel really sick that this has happened to them. I'm not sure how to appropriately deal with this for future reference. For eg I'm not going to push them to do anything but should I encourage them to report it or something?
    They said they wouldn't do anything about it now and I fully respect and support that and will not push it. I'm just concerned that there is a paedophile amidst us and this is happening to other kids or something
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    You must deal with it , for revenge is a sweet as honey, brother
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They said they wouldn't do anything about it now and I fully respect and support that and will not push it. I'm just concerned that there is a paedophile amidst us and this is happening to other kids or something
    Yea thats a problem
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would never tell a soul
    But... You just told an entire forum..

    :hmmmm2:
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    (Original post by FightToWin)
    But... You just told an entire forum..

    :hmmmm2:

    Anonymously and I'm not disclosing their name gender or other identifiable features so what is your point? I didn't make this post to rat on someone I love for s**** and giggles.
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    Couldn't you just ask your partner if they think the person still poses a risk? Are there any kids in your families that this person could possibly get to?
    In most cases things like this are done by close friends or family members and not strangers, so it's likely it could be someone known to your partner.

    The only thing you can do is air your honest concerns about there being someone dangerous among you and just ask if they could maybe talk to you about whether or not there's potential for it to happen again.

    I can empathise with your partner in that the last thing you want to do is confront or draw attention to someone like that. You want the situation to die out, go away and leave you alone so telling you would have been a difficult thing to do, as it makes it even more real in the mind and brings it back to the forefront of your thoughts.

    My honest advice is to let your partner deal with this how they need to. It might seem like the right thing to do to nab the molester, and it is justice-wise/morally but it should only be done if your partner can 100% agree to it because it will cause them a lot of pain to do this.
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    Out of interest, has it affected your sex life?
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    Think about what that person could be doing right now to other people. It is your duty to society to turn this person in, no matter who they are. Until they are punished it may be difficult for your partner to feel safe, and they will definitely not feel comfortable around them (if they are still alive/in contact with them). However I must agree with PandaCalavera =

    (Original post by PandaCalavera)
    My honest advice is to let your partner deal with this how they need to. It might seem like the right thing to do to nab the molester, and it is justice-wise/morally but it should only be done if your partner can 100% agree to it because it will cause them a lot of pain to do this.
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    (Original post by otah007)
    Think about what that person could be doing right now to other people. It is your duty to society to turn this person in, no matter who they are. Until they are punished it may be difficult for your partner to feel safe, and they will definitely not feel comfortable around them (if they are still alive/in contact with them). However I must agree with PandaCalavera =
    That's love for you. If you really love someone, you're willing to sacrifice others to make them happy......
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    It's more common than you think. A girl I know is unfortunately very messed up from abuse at the hands of her stepdad and what's worse is the mum thought she was fabricating stuff and booted her out of the house. It lead to a path of constant sexual relations with different men and shockingly low self esteem along with a lot of cannabis and alcohol use. They seem to be getting by with a bf at the moment but are condemned to a life of living in a bedsit and no where permanent to call their own really, especially if the relationship broke down. It's not her fault but the priorities are all messed up because of that paedophile/rapist
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    (Original post by Ciel.)
    That's love for you. If you really love someone, you're willing to sacrifice others to make them happy......
    ********. If your relationship is built around the constant sacrificing of friends for the sake of soothing your partners' ego, it's an unhealthy relationship.
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    Leave it to your partner it is their burden to bare and deal with. Don't cause problems for them or keep bringing it up, that would be more than seriously un-cool.
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    (Original post by Drunk Punx)
    ********. If your relationship is built around the constant sacrificing of friends for the sake of soothing your partners' ego, it's an unhealthy relationship.
    I actually can't even remember making that post but I still agree with my past-self.
    We are not talking about constantly sacrificing friends for the sake of soothing your partner's ego here, but about serious issues, that can have a massive impact on your partner's life.
 
 
 
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