Can't orgasm during sex without thinking of someone else

Anonymous

I have been with my girlfriend for three months now and I can never orgasm without thinking of another girl. :o:

She is my first so I am just wondering if this is normal or happens to other people too?

Sad.

Bump

Are you attracted to your girlfriend?

Reply 4

inhuman

That's kind of messed up.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by AndrewSCO

Are you attracted to your girlfriend?

Yes I have no problem "getting it up", just with having an orgasm.

Reply 6

username2791212

Even though it's normal to find other people attractive...thinking about them during sex with your partner isn't a good indicator for your relationship at all.

Would you question the relationship knowing your girlfriend struggled to orgasm unless she thought of someone else?
It's especially concerning as you've only been together for a very short time. At three months I struggled to think of anything else other than my boyfriend constantly.

I realise you probably do find her attractive...but does she excite you? Are you genuinely happy to be with her and does sex with her excite and interest and drive you nuts? It seems to me like it doesn't seeing as you can't orgasm on purely having sex with her.

Who is it that you're thinking of? A girl you know in real life? An ex? A made up fantasy? A celebrity?

What is so different about the other girl that makes the difference? Is it that your girlfriend isn't doing what you want sexually, or is it the appearance of the girl?

I would say these are important questions.
However, I also have a feeling you probably shouldn't be with her if she isn't doing it for you.

Reply 7

ELVsLP

happens to many people. just make sure you never tell her and your safe!

Reply 8

username2791212

Original post by ELVsLP

happens to many people. just make sure you never tell her and your safe!

Thinking about other people might be common, but being literally unable to orgasm if you're purely thinking about your partner isn't what I would call being "safe". I agree with not telling her, it'll just cause hurt and possible irreparable damage to her self esteem and mental health, but what about the OP? Can the OP really live the rest of their life knowing their partner isn't truly satisfying them? It's also not fair to their partner making her think she's with someone who wants her the way she wants them.

The problem here isn't really the thinking of other people (though I personally think that doing that during sex is awful), it's the fact it has to be someone other than his partner or else he can't orgasm whatsoever! It is not fair for either of them that the OP continues like this.

Reply 9

Triniman85

It might be your subconscious telling you are missing about her character or her possible effect on your l life if you really exposed yourself. Or it could just be you wanna sow your oats and she is just a stepping stone for you.

Reply 10

$inz

Believe me when I tell you lots of girls think about other guys during sex too as well as watching porn, having mmf fantasies (and your not in it), etc. Don't worry Bout it because you feel guilty cause you think a girl would never do that to you, but trust me, they do
As far as trouble orgasming, xould be you watch too much porn and are expecting things you only see in porn
You definitely need to fix soon because is she starts sensing she doesn't turn you on or thinks you don't enjoy sex with her, she's going to get very self-conscious and not want to continue having sex with you. After all, if you believed that you'd gf thought you were the worst person in bed, would you still want to embarrass yourseld more by continuing?

(edited 2 years ago)

Original post by $inz

okay glad you're enjoying your porn. please check the date of the thread next time as it's over three years ago. can you see it in top right-hand corner?