Is it too late? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
I really like a good friend of mine and I can't work out what the hell is happening between us and what to do.

Basically, I've known him for 6 months or so, and I'm pretty sure he used to like me, because of the way he acted and things he said and so on. It was going really well a month or two ago (before our A2 exams) and so I asked him to come to my Leavers ball, which he said yes to and came. Had a great night, and I'm sure something would have happened but I had decided and been advised that it was stupid to start something just before exams, so while being kinda like that, I kept enough distance...I guess I thought that since we had been talking about how silly it would be hypothetically before that he would realise that that was why. When anybody asked if we were going out, he would answer 'not officially', which made me think that he wanted to be. Since then there was another moment that we both kind of pulled away from as exams were still on (or at least that's why I did!) I didn't really worry about it cause I thought that once exams were over it would just sort itself out.

But now exams have ended, despite me trying my best to flirt obviously and spending lots of time alone togethr, he hasn't made the move I expected him to. I can't work out if he's decided I'm not interested from me pulling away/the mixed signals due to exams and is therefore keeping more of a distance (which he is, it's gone from being obviously touchy to obviously not - the awkward goodbyes and so on reign supreme) but still likes me, or if he just doesn't like me or is just being shy? He's not that shy outwardly and has had plenty of experience/girlfriends, but I get the feeling that was all much more initially sexual and so he could just be confused by us being friends first and he can be incredibly sweet and shyish with me?

I always presumed he would be the type to make a move and to want to be the initiator, and besides I don't know if I have the courage to come out with it. I don't know, I feel so confused and I don't think I can deal with the suspense/tension any longer...but at the same time I really don't want to lose him as a friend because we get on so well and I would really miss him if everything went wrong. One of those rare people you just connect with and feel totally comfortable with (except for those tension filled moments :p:).

Sorry for the length! I guess I just wondered if anybody could give me an outsiders perspective?
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Rock Fan
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#2
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#2
Maybe he still hasn't got the hint that you like him.
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kimble
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#3
Report 11 years ago
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If life was like a movie you would just go up and kiss him and live happily ever after ... however it sounds to me like he might still be confused by the mixed signals? does he flirt back? I think (I know it's difficult) but you might have to make the first move! xx
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Carrie1
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#4
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Pfft, go for it . You only live once. I went for it and now over a year later and I couldn't be happier. Granted it doesn't work every time, but a line like "not officially" is definitely there for a reason. He's still letting you be alone together and, you say he hasn't made the move. Maybe he's waiting for you?

Tell him tell him tell him.
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ISH
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#5
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talk to him about all this
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Anonymous #1
#6
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Okay, so I should make a move...but how on earth do I bring it up? Or should I write a note or text or something? Ack!
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airyfairy
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#7
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These things tend to get sorted out best in person. However if you are way to nervous/shy just send a text explaining things, or phone him (sometimes waiting on a reply can be really horrid!).
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Toiletpaper8
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#8
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Well, somehow make it clear without a doubt that you like him

I think he may be confused :O!
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phantom
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay, so I should make a move...but how on earth do I bring it up? Or should I write a note or text or something? Ack!
you could make the first move, lots of girls assume that guys should make first moves just because he has had experiance doesnt mean that he makes first moves. perhaps next time alone you could just go and kiss him but its up to you like someone said you only live once. or u cud write him a note or text him...
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Carrie1
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#10
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Yeah, depending on how you feel about it, preferably face to face so you can discuss it and you can see his immediate reaction. However, if you're uncomfortable with that I'd go for the phone.
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Flank Runner
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#11
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just kiss him, if he runs for the hills, he doesn't like you, if he stays, then you get to live happily ever after
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Carrie1
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#12
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yeah, actually, go for the kiss
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Dionysus
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#13
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Yup. Ask him out for dinner, or to see a movie, walk somewhere reasonably romantic then just randomly spin him round and snog him. If he doesn't like you, he'll leg it, if he does, you'll know about it.
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Anonymous #1
#14
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#14
I've spoken to him, and though things are slightly cleared up, I still don't really get what to do. He said that we did have moments earlier and that he was very up for it then, but since then he's thought about it and is worried that he would get too involved and not want to leave on his gap year. He's very stressed and having family problems at the moment and is so busy with work and family that he doesn't feel he has the time or energy for a relationship at the moment. However, he did say that maybe when he visits me on my gap year next winter or when he comes back next summer we could give it a go....

Initally I thought this was great, because at least he did/does like me ...but how on earth do I wait? Surely the actual likelihood of both of us still being single then is minimal? Just can't work out if I should attempt to get over him or not?! I really really do like him and understand that it's a bad time (just like it was for me earlier, with exams and several close bereavements) and I've got used to being single recently but I don't know that I can keep up liking him this much on the chance that it could happen? I can't work out if I'm being stupid thinking it could still go anywhere.
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Flank Runner
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#15
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hes making excuses, no matter what problems or adversities hes facing, if he liked you he'd give it a go, if you want to wait, then wait, my suggestion move on, if he aint got the balls to fight for you then he just isnt worth it
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Firestars
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#16
Report 11 years ago
#16
(Original post by phantom)
you could make the first move, lots of girls assume that guys should make first moves just because he has had experiance doesnt mean that he makes first moves. perhaps next time alone you could just go and kiss him but its up to you like someone said you only live once. or u cud write him a note or text him...
rightly nothing should hold you 'back' go for it!
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