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Would you date a girl who had tried to kill herself a few months before ?

If not why not?

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Original post by lachachacha
If not why not?


I wouldn't want to date someone like that because I'd be constantly scared of saying or doing the wrong thing that could make them feel bad and I don't feel like a few months is enough time to fully recover from something that serious so I personally couldn't handle it.
Too much of a risk.
You do something wrong, she kills herself and you get blamed by everyone for the rest of your life.
Don't need this.
No because after spending an hour with me, she will probably try again.

Spoiler

Too much baggage for my liking.
Original post by lachachacha
If not why not?


Yes
I would

If I liked her enough as someone I date under normal circumstances firstly, and then if I new I could help her and she was in a place where she was able to recover.
yes, i do.
If she tried to kill herself, then maybe she's not ready to be dating, as she's got some demons that need to be dealt with. Rather than dating, perhaps becoming her friend first and just help her through the rough road. :frown:
Yes i would!

Theres no reason why i wouldnt, unless i didnt actually like her of course. But yeah if we got on well and we both liked each other then id be perfectly happy dating her!
Shes no different to anyone else in reality.
Shes just suffering and id do my absolute best to help her overcome it.
So yes i would date her, very happily too. Id be supportive of her and help her in anyway that i can!
Yeah.

That's kinky.
I feel like all the people answering this thread saying 'yes because I would help her' do not fully understand what it's like to be depressed. It's really not that easy to 'overcome it'. The mindset of someone who recently literally tried to kill themselves isn't 'no different to anyone else', their brains literally, chemically, are different to an average person's so it's really not that simple.
I'm not saying you can't and shouldn't date someone like that, but being overly positive and expecting to be able to just walk into the relationship and fix them and everything will be a-okay isn't how things work in the real world.
Reply 12
It's not great. I've experienced it, in hindsight I shouldn't have. Also another thing I would like to point out is to never date 'best friends' as that doesn't usually work out either (in my experience anyway).

If you do date a person who sufferes from severe depression and anxiety and is likely to harm theirselves again then you will need to have a watchful eye over their behaviour during the course of the relationship. They are not like YOU mentally - they are dealing with serious issues and trying to confront it face on - usually resulting for them to harm theirselves.

So be aware to those who say yes...
No, because it is mentally and emotionally draining to be with somebody who behaves like that. Their problem will become your problem and then you will start to forget yourself and your needs.

In my opinion, if the person are not in the right mindset then they should not be dating. There is no gurantee that the guy or girl will stay.

Some things are just best left alone.


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(edited 7 years ago)
I wouldn't recommend you to date her unless you are madly in love with her. We usually feel like the people we are with, if you are around someone who's very happy you will tend to feel happy too. Likewise if you are with someone who's depressed they can make you depressed too. There are plenty of fish in the sea.. Why not to chose one that will make you feel passionate about life?
Reply 15
I'm going to be honest with you, run away as fast as you can. It may sound harsh but if you want to live a happy and stress free life i would advise you to find someone else.
Original post by FireFreezer77
Yes i would!

Theres no reason why i wouldnt, unless i didnt actually like her of course. But yeah if we got on well and we both liked each other then id be perfectly happy dating her!
Shes no different to anyone else in reality.
Shes just suffering and id do my absolute best to help her overcome it.
So yes i would date her, very happily too. Id be supportive of her and help her in anyway that i can!


I love this response in theory, but it does depend if you know that you could handle supporting her. If she needed you, and you couldn't be there for her, then potentially it could make things worse.
I used to self harm, and had other MH problems, and I know my boyfriend found it tough.
I would yes. But they would need to be getting help. If they weren't and were in the same state they were in when they tried to kill themselves I would not enter a romantic relationship with them. Be there for them yes, always. But as a lover, no.

That being said, if I was already in a relationship with said person and they started going down that path, I wouldn't break up with them unless it was taking too much of a heavy toll on my own mental well-being. At that point the relationship is probably over anyway. I would, of course, stand by them for as long as needed and they would allow.
No, one wrong move and i could be partly responsible for someone's death
She's probably not ready to be dating someone if she tried doing that. If she seeks help, then sure.

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